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Haute Coiffure. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

J: “I’ll be over there after I get my hair cut.”

Me: “No, come here first, I’ll cut your hair!”

J: “What? You can cut hair?”

Me: “Sure can.”

J: “Whose hair have you cut?”

Me: “Thelma’s.”

J: “Your cat. You’ve cut your cat’s hair and you expect me to trust you to cut my hair?”

Me: “Aww, what’s the worse that can happen?”

J: “You butcher my hair and I can’t go out in public.”

Me: “Well it’s not like it won’t grow out. Just wear a ’Camp Chemo’ t-shirt until it does.”

J: “Like I said, I’ll be there after I get my hair cut.”

*Click*

Damn. And I knew just how I was going to cut it too.

32 Comments
 

32 Responses to Haute Coiffure.

  1. Jena says:

    Did you show him the style you had in mind? BTW.. that was fucking hilarious.

  2. Sophia says:

    And then you’d wait until he fell alseep and give him a moustache with a Sharpie!

  3. Yabu says:

    Give him a mohawk, and an extra hat or two.

    How’s Jack?

  4. Rosie says:

    You don’t need the Sharpie, you can use the hair that you cut off! It’ll look so much more real! :)

  5. Hendrix Williams says:

    You gals crack me up.

  6. Melissa says:

    I finally convinced hubs after like 2 years that he was wasting money letting some chick run clippers over his head every two months. So now I do it and I swear to god every time he says I cut it shorter than the “last” time. I am unsure what shorter than shaved is, but I somehow manage to do it according to him.

  7. Jeffro says:

    Psst! I think J is on to you!

  8. Alison says:

    Finally, a picture of J, so we know what he looks like. Seems familiar…wonder if I’ve seen him in the grocery store or something?

  9. Nicole says:

    he really missed out this time.

  10. Jennifer says:

    Poor J! Well, I guess not poor J- he didn’t let you cut his hair! lol

  11. Suzanne says:

    I am sorry that the haircut did not come to pass. I have this feeling that a fabulous rendering would have been the result.

  12. Mark12A says:

    I once played connect-the-dots with an indelible sharpy marker on a freckled girl who was, um, less than completely conscious and relatively unclothed. There was alcohol involved. It was a shameful episode. Shameful!

    I think she may still have the hit out on me. Although it’s been a few decades, I don’t think her statute of limitations has lapsed.

    • Laura says:

      That’s okay. I once drew a huge squirting dick on the side of a guy’s face with an indelible marker who was passed out at a party once. He was a huge homophobe and I laugh to this day thinking about it. I wonder if he does.

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