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Pinterest is Satan. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I think I’m addicted to Pinterest. Yeah, I think I’m a cyber-hoarder. I spend entirely too much time there looking and pinning shit I’ll never buy or make, sometimes pinning the same thing five or six times because I have too much shit pinned to remember what the hell I have pinned to begin with. I think I need to hire an assistant. Or maybe I’ll just call A&E’s Hoarders so they can send me a professional organizer and a therapist who specializes in compulsive behavior. I can see it now, the therapist would be all “Laura, we’re just going to get rid of things you’re comfortable getting rid of” and me freaking the shit out when dudes in jumpsuits led by the organizer start deleting my pins. “NO! I WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT ‘CANNED BISCUIT DONUT DELIGHTS’ ONE DAY! NOOO! NOT ‘HOW-TO-MAKE A WINE CORK PICTURE FRAME’!” Then I’ll start getting all pissed-off and grabbing them back out of the Recycle Bin, grumbling to myself like a crazy-ass hobo.

Anyway, I know I’m going to have to get help soon, I started saving sappy quotes. YES. Quotes without curse words in them. Help. Me.

The next fucking thing you know I'll be watching The Notebook or, GOD FORBID, Titanic.

46 Comments
 

46 Responses to Pinterest is Satan.

  1. Erinyes says:

    “Then I ask myself the same question”.

    Because flying is so goddamned expensive. Sheesh. What a genius.

  2. Julia says:

    As a fellow addict, I feel your pain. Now how can I pin this website to my board? Tell me now!!!

  3. Alison says:

    I’ve never been on Pinterest, but now I know I need to stay away, because wine-cork frames and canned biscuit donut delights actually piqued my curiosity. Get thee hence, vile temptress!!

  4. MorningGlory says:

    I noticed your sappy pins yesterday; I figured you had a bad day and it was the gin and tonic that was doing the actual pinning.

    BTW, my son-in-law is a TSA agent. And he’s cute. Just ask Jean, she’ll tell you. The cute ones are all married, though.

  5. Yabu says:

    You need to talk to someone, drink some gin, and do some thinking.

  6. Rosie says:

    I think you’ve got something there! Increase plane sales, with good looking TSA agents! It cold be a real boost to the economy! (and fantasy life!)

  7. Rosie says:

    *plane ticket sales. I don’t imagine a lot of people will be buying the actual plane.

  8. The longest journey begins when you get off your lazy ass & take the trash out, you worthless bastard, before I divorce you & light the tires of your stupid pickup truck on fire.

  9. Cheryl Lundgren says:

    Normally I just spend my days playing on-line poker but now I need to explore the possibilities with Pinterest.

    So I’ll join right after I finish the next hand, maybe.

  10. Jena says:

    Wow… You do need help. Ive seen your boards. LMAO.

  11. Nicole says:

    You will be fine. If you still find pictures of Easter Bunnies with face huggers amusing, you’ll be fine. :)

  12. zonker says:

    I have 3,762 bookmarks in Firefox.

    Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Laura!

  13. Princess says:

    God, it’s a full time job just trying to “follow” everyone on Pintrest. it’s worse than following everyone on twitter. Bunch of crazy people with nthing to do. I cant pin anything I want cuz Im to busy looking at what everyone else wants….

  14. Harbqll says:

    Titanic. Never again. I had to see that piece of gose THREE TIMES when it came out.

    (I was dating three different women at the time)

    My heart has held a deep, abiding hatred for Leonardo DiCaprio for the last 15 years.

  15. Mark12A says:

    My brother tried to seduce me to the dark side of Pinterest to post photos of stuff like dead animals. I’d do it but the truth is I’m simply too lazy and don’t have the attention span to try to figure it out. I won’t even watch a you-tube video that’s more than a couple of minutes long unless there are hot naked women with automatic weapons. Or car crashes.

  16. Jess says:

    I’d never heard of Pinterest,until you wrote you post. I’d look it up, but I’m too busy cutting and pasting newspaper clippings to the wall…that’s the east wall; the west wall is reserved for my collection of free self-addressed labels from charitable organizations.

    I won’t tell you what’s on the north wall. The south wall if where I stack my empty prescription bottles filled with paper clips I find by the doors of office buildings.

  17. SB Smith says:

    YOU ?…saving quotes without cuss words ?

    This IS serious !

  18. Jess says:

    For some reason, I had a vision of Jack with Easter Bunny ears.

    Happy Easter. Enjoy some chocolate and gin…or is it gin and chocolate?

  19. Diane Dodd says:

    HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I finally made a Pinterest page for my wedding photo stuff- that way when I am squatting on Pinterest for hours I can call it “research” or “networking” or “promoting myself” and I don’t feel bad about it at all. Follow me so I can see all of your sappy pins!!!!!! http://www.pinterest.com/dianedoddphoto
    xoxo

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