I am constantly being bombarded with questions from people like “Your skin is so perfect, what products do you use?” or “Oh my God, your skin just radiates perfection and youth, what products do you use?” Okay, “constantly being bombarded” is a bit of an overstatement. Okay, no one really said anything remotely like that to me, except once a creepy old hobo dude I passed on the street said something like “Purdy ladieee, I wanna to wear yer skin.” which means I have good skin, right? Right. So anyway, I decided I would recommend products on weekends that I use and know for a fact they work. And not just skin care products either. I’m not getting paid for any of these recommendations, which is fucked-up really, but rather, am doing it so you too can have creepy old hobos envy and desire you, which I guess is kinda more fucked-up, but oh well.
Today’s product is Curél Hand & Cuticle Therapy hand cream. Best hand cream made. As y’all know, I am a yet-undiscovered hand model and I know my hand creams. It’s non-greasy, absorbs fast, and keeps your hand smooth even after several washes.
See, even my BFF Wilson recommends it, and he should know about hands, his face was made with one. Of course, it was from a bloody one and I guess he really should be recommending an antibiotic ointment and bandaging material, but he’s not too bright. (Shh, don’t tell him I said that. We have plans to go to lunch tomorrow and I want him to pay.)
Also, I am pretty certain that crazy old hobos would rate this product 4 out of 4 ”It Puts The Lotion On Its Skin Or Else It Gets The Hose Again.” It’s that good.