Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

J: “Hello?”

Me: “I think I have fibromyalgia.”

J: “Oh, God, Laura. Why do you think you have fibromyalgia?”

Me: “Everything hurts. I googled it. I have fibromyalgia.”

J: “And you don’t think you hurt because you were up and down on a ladder cleaning andĀ painting your pantry?”

Me: “No. I’m pretty certain it’s fibromyalgia. Well, that or polio.”

J: “You need to stop fatalizing every ache and pain.”

Me: “You need to show some concern and sympathy.”

J: “I do. I’m concerned you’re on WebMd too much and I sympathize with your physicians.”


One day that Nazi sonsabitch will be sorry.


42 Responses to AND I still have thumb rabies!

  1. January Rain says:

    OMG, you R 2 much…………..

  2. Cinder says:

    I think age has a lot to do with this pain you are feeling. plus the extension of warm weather you guys are having in SC. but mostly age ..and I think if you start drinking hot toddy’s at night you will feel better in the morning. not trying to dog you or anything but, ya know were all getting older. even you…..

  3. Yabu says:

    Well, at least you didn’t wake up blonde. Hope you feel better.

  4. Rath says:

    Maybe you should take a desk job. Maybe you dont need to be jumping in and out of Hummers and running up stairs to roof tops, with all that amo Im sure you have to carry. Seriously. That would mean more quality time with the BOB’s.

  5. Jena says:

    As a sufferer of FMS…. going up and down a ladder painting WILL bring on FMS! (Tho I’ve never done exactly what you did… I had severe severe mono)

    The almost cure is gin and bacon.

  6. patti says:

    aaaah – spewing coffee – now THAT is the way mornings are supposed to begin :)

  7. Larry says:

    I know I’m going to hell for this, but I laughed like an idiot at that picture. And the biggest thing we lost with the switch to cell phones was the ability to slam the receiver down…

  8. Tina, Escrow Goddess says:

    What color did you paint the pantry?

  9. Roxie says:

    I think you have Badassitis! : )

  10. Jess says:

    I thought I had fibromyalgia, so I discussed it with my doctor. He told me I was just getting old…I liked the idea of fibromyalgia better, but he didn’t seem to care, so it’s back to scotch. It doesn’t help with pain, but I really don’t give a shit.

  11. I think it’s the haircut. Sonsabitches.

  12. Elphaba says:

    Honey, we know you’re sick…in all the right ways! ;)

  13. CGHill says:

    What you need to do is rename your WebMD bookmark to something less suspicious, like “World Circus Peanut Distributors,” so if he goes sneaking around your browser he’ll be lulled into a false sense of security.

  14. Alison says:

    Well, shit, once you die, you can come back as a zombie. Just make sure you’re buried with your guns and plenty of ammunition. I hear some folks have a thing against zombies.

  15. Jeffro says:

    By Gawd you’ll show ‘em! Oh, wait, dying is a sort of zero sum game. Probably ought not do that, just yet. The world doesn’t need to hear my cries of pain and anguish, either.

  16. Mark12A says:

    You think fibromyalgia is bad, you should try priapism.

  17. Live long and prosper. Sonsabitches will hate that :D

  18. Angel says:

    I wish I could find a man w/priapism. I’d quit my job and stay home…..

  19. FYI says:

    This is what they R selling and there R other kitty pics too. http://www.harveynichols.com/sale

  20. SB Smith says:

    Brilliant tombstone message !

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>