Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Sorry it took an extra day for me to get around to writing about my adventure with the paranormal investigators, but I was out ghostbusting until after midnight and the last thing I wanted to do at that hour was get on the computer for anything other than midget porn surfing. Not that I did that mind you.

Anyway, Wednesday night my friend and I met the “team”- which consisted of four people- downtown. We followed them to an area outside the city near the Congaree River. What this area used to be noted for years ago was Klan activity. That’s right, the Ku Klux Klan. And then way before that during the Civil War, General Sherman went directly through there when he marched on Columbia to burn it down on his way to Atlanta. Then he was overcome by our ungodly heat and humidity and giant, disgusting Palmetto Bugs and said, “Fuck this shit, let them have it. I’m outta here.” Well okay, he burned a few buildings before getting totally bored and moving on. And yes, I am a Civil War history scientist.

So we were in the “area of an abnormal amount of paranormal activity.” It was a clear, crisp night, no fog or anything and they pulled out a shitload of equipment and told us what it was, with most of the names ending in the word “meter” or “sensor.” Sorry, I didn’t take notes. I was too busy watching out for the white hoods and burning crosses at that point. The first thing I did note was that these people were serious about this. And I mean serious. When the head guy said “You can take pictures, talk, whatever. All we ask is that you don’t call out any demon’s names.” I looked at my friend and raised my hand. He nodded his head at me and I said “Do we get a list of what those names are? I don’t want to accidentally call one. ‘Cause you know, sometimes I’ll say something like “You’re a dick!” Dick isn’t one is it?” And in a flat tone he said “No, Dick isn’t a demon name.” “Phew, that’s good.” And then I got visually smacked down and decided to gag my inner smartassness for a while and just watch and learn.

And boy am I glad I did. Listen, I’m not saying I believe in ghosts or spirits, I seriously don’t know what I believe because I have seen a few very strange, unexplained things in my life. But I watched, and listened, and helped run equipment and I thoroughly enjoyed the ride. It was fun as hell. And kind of spooky. Two times in the evening the meter I was holding went wild and I pointed my camera and snapped at the nothingness. And out of all of the pictures I took that evening, the two I took when my meter went off are the only ones that show “something.” And all I can tell you is I swear on my love for my pets that there was no fog and these are not photoshopped at all:

 

And hells yeah, we’re going again. I’m now a bona fide ghost scientist.

Now excuse me while I go google “demon names.”

88 Comments
 

88 Responses to Who you gonna call?

  1. “Beetlejuice.”

    Then Michael Keaton appears.

    Seriously, be careful with that shit. Wearing a religious article can’t hurt – make it St. Michael the Archangel, Defender of Souls.

  2. Aurora says:

    Pretty sure my name is on that list. Just ask my ex. Or mother.

  3. Underground Carpenter says:

    Laura,

    Check Tobin’s Spirit Guide.

    Dave

  4. Sophia says:

    Kind of looks like the ghost of Gen. Sherman. And he looks pissed!

  5. Cinder says:

    Are you out of your MIND? oh… wait…. never mind..

  6. Bill Keller says:

    Curious whether your sensors were directional? How did you know which direction to point your camera?

    Very cool stuff, will look forward the the next epoisode of “fetch me my flying ghosts” soon!!

    • Laura says:

      Yes, they were indeed directional. I also randomly started just shooting pics all around, when my sensor wasn’t going off, and those had nothing.

      I can’t wait to go either. I would LOVE to have a fleet of ghosts to do my bidding.

  7. My son got to meet the crew from Ghost Lab and those people are serious like a heart attack.

    Which is what it feels like I’m having after seeing the pics you posted.

    *sprinkles holy water around*

    • Laura says:

      Yes, they were totally serious with what looked like thousands and thousands of dollars worth of equipment. Audio, snapping cams, infrared….all kinds of stuff.

  8. Jena says:

    Fucking COOL!!!

  9. Helen says:

    You are much braver than I. There is no way in Gods name I would go out, AT NIGHT, in THE WOODS, and play. Nope. I’ll stay in my nice warm bed……Yep!

  10. Yabu says:

    Boo Coo Cool! The “team” you were with seen your pictures yet?

    • Laura says:

      They told me email them. They also investigate private residences when people call them. They said I could go with them on some. Probably depends on if I learn any demon’s names if they ask me though.

  11. Alison says:

    I bet you anything Thelma is a demon name.

  12. LyleLovett666 says:

    There are two branches of demons.One has 535 members and the other has 100.

  13. nightfly says:

    See, you’re lucky you didn’t have me around. My natural response to the request not to mention any demon names is to wander around casually calling, “Asmodiar? Ba’al? Moloch? Beelzebub? Trumpy? Chief? McCloud?”

  14. Roxie says:

    I totally want “No, Dick isn’t a demon name.” as my ringtone! :)

  15. Cheryl Lundgren says:

    Holy Ghost Shit!! I agree with Helen. There is no way I would be stomping around the woods at night. What about zombies and ghosts and that Jason guy? And what about ghosts that follow you home and haunt you? You need some protection from that shit too!

    Other than those comments, your pictures are totally cool.

    As for your Palmetto bugs, pwwsssstt! I’ll put the six bark scorpions we’ve had in the house this month against your bugs any day.

    • Laura says:

      Palmetto Bugs vs The Scorpions. It would an epic battle.

      • Cheryl Lundgren says:

        It would be sick wouldn’t it? I happen to have trapped one and have him in a glass container. Any time you want to have the boyfriend send me a live Palmetto bug (that’s probably illegal isn’t it) we can set up the fight and film it. With your filming skills, you’ll have to do the filming so I guess you’ll be coming to Scorpion City otherwise known as Las Vegas.

        • Laura says:

          JESUS! What if the Palmetto Bug the scorpion BREED. I don’t want to live in a world where there’s huge flying cockroaches with stingers on their asses.

  16. “Civil War history scientist”. Excellent. We needs mor a dem.

  17. Jess says:

    That’s the trouble with ghosts. Even the best of photographs look like someone opened the windows in a highway bar.

    Maybe that’s where ghosts congregate. They can mingle with the people too drunk to notice.

  18. Kim says:

    Wowsers. That’s just wowsers.

  19. Nicole says:

    Very cool! Keep us updated!

  20. Sophia says:

    Here’s a list of demon names….complete with a dire warning about the names. Crusty and Sherman aren’t on it.

    http://www.gods-and-monsters.com/list-of-demon-names.html

  21. Mark12A says:

    I clicked on the link Sophia gave you to check out demon names and the first name I saw was KIM KARDASHIAN. No shit.

    Now it’s official.

  22. Premium Protector says:

    In the first picture, are those two eyes in the upper left just above the “mist”. thats kinda freaky, what are those? You were out here? in the dark? I would have peed my pants…. no doubt

  23. jo says:

    Vindicated! I tell people all the time, just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Usually I’m refering to my waistline, though.

  24. Azygos says:

    Laura,

    My wife, my cat and myself have seen ghosts in our own bedroom. I would have thought I was just not quite awake however I noticed the cat on my pillow was tracking the same thing I was looking at. When it exited the room my wife pipes up “did you see that.” Later that night we had an odd green light in the bedroom that the cat tried to attack.

  25. SB Smith says:

    That sounds like fun !
    Great photos, if you can figure out who or what they were.

    Maybe some of those old Klan members names are Now considered demon names.

    *
    Hope Jack’s doing alright.
    Please give him a hug and a smooch forme.

  26. Erinyes says:

    Looks to me like your friend off-camera needs to check his smoking habit…

    :o D

  27. Buttercup says:

    Very tres cool. I need one of those meter things, though. The last house I owned had the ghost of a little boy. On second thought, no, I don’t need a meter. I don’t want to know if this house has anyone else in it. Never mind.

  28. Brea says:

    Ok, so the top one looks like it might just be Cthulhu, that damned tentacled bastard! I’m never sure how to pronounce it, though, so you might want to either check Wikipedia for the pronunciation, or just leave him off your list.

    The bottom one… looks like the ghost was photobombing you! Attention whoring, even into the afterlife.

  29. Maeve says:

    VERY cool! Glad you had a good time and was able to get something on film.

  30. Jess says:

    After four days without a post, I’ve decided you’re either busy, don’t give a shit, or the ghosts kidnapped you, realized you were the only leader they could trust and made you supreme leader of the ghost world. If it’s the latter, some people are going to really wish they’d been nicer to you.

  31. AmyLynn says:

    Hi, I have no comments about this post other than to say you are hilarious and even though I no longer have my own blog? I am still reading yours regularly.

    Do you remember me? PBJ Dreamer?

    anyway HI!

  32. John D says:

    “…area of an abnormal amount of paranormal activity.”

    Wouldn’t that make it para-abnormal activity? Just curious. I watch some of those ghost hunting shows on TV, but I make no claims of expertise in the nomenclature of the field.

  33. Elphaba says:

    Dude. I know you’re a famous hoity-toity ghost scientist now, but you need to remember that there are those of us among the living who need–nay, depend–on your crazy ass blog postings! November 30th was ages ago in Internet time. I’m having, like, withdrawals and shit.

    P.S. More Jack, please!

  34. Jess says:

    From personal observation, the peanut gallery is getting as unruly as a room full of a hundred rabid, hungry honey badgers.

  35. Jena says:

    Happy birthday to me! ha!

  36. Glen says:

    I sincerely hope these whack-a-doodles were not armed with anything powered by something more lethal than Duracell batteries. I would hate to think these people have access to gunpowder.

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