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Shit. I think I’m already failing at this “National Irritate a Food Pic Hater Food Pic Posting Week” or NIAFPHFPPW for short” thingy. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Monday was filled with rage, tears, and a strong desire for murder. Then I went into work, and it got even worse. I seriously do not get enough credit for not climbing a tower with a high-powered rifle like I feel like doing on most days. But to tell the truth, it’s not because I contain any kind of self-control whatsoever, but actually because I’m too fucking lazy to climb. So my slothfulness has saved lives. And saving lives means I’m a fucking hero. I deserve a medal. A medal made of gold. Or bacon.

I didn’t have any bacon last night and I was in no mood to cook, so I had what I always have when I’m too exhausted from restraining myself from murder:

Yeah, that’s right. I like the taste of these, especially after I add vodka and make what I call a “Geriatric White Russian.”

A picture, a recipe, an honorable mention of bacon and homicidal tendencies. BAM! I win the Internet, motherfuckers.

 

P.S. Now y’all can win some stained glass. Don’t forget to enter Yabu’s Food Pic Contest!

58 Comments
 

58 Responses to Shit. I think I’m already failing at this “National Irritate a Food Pic Hater Food Pic Posting Week” or NIAFPHFPPW for short” thingy.

  1. MSgt B says:

    Wow.
    You went to the bacon way too early in the game.

    It’s on like Donkey Kong now…

  2. Stephen says:

    This thread…Delivers. :)

  3. Alison says:

    I had to draw bacon on DrawSomething this weekend. I nailed it.

    My lazy dinner fallback is pb&j. In fact, that’s what I’m eating for breakfast right now. Hard to add vodka, though.

  4. Gary says:

    Maybe throw in some nail polish modeling, that should help, something with a breakfast theme. Blue berry muffins with some hideous, purple nail polish….

  5. Hiley says:

    Mmmmmmmm Ensure.. mmmmmmm

  6. Tink says:

    OK so I was cooking Chicken Livers this morning and I was going to take a picture, email it to Yabu and take them to work… mmmmm right? NOT !!!!!!. They came out really sucky or else my tastebuds were just not into it this morning. but NO picture and No lunch…. make a note.

  7. Yabu says:

    Looks like you pissed off the T-Rex, he or she wanted some bacon. Be careful.

  8. Jena says:

    Holy shit! I drink the extra protein Boost. It NEVER occurred to me to make a white russian outta it! I love those!

    you are my hero!

  9. Mr. Bingley says:

    “Geriatric White Russian”

    Call it a “babushka”!

  10. fillyjonk says:

    So that Ensure stuff is actually drinkable? I may have to keep that in mind for the next time I get a six-hour-marathon of back-to-back classes without a break and want to have something for lunch that I can chug between classes….and that will also let my colleagues see JUST WHAT A MARTYR I AM for putting up with that awful schedule

  11. Roxie says:

    I added vodka to a Naked Juice protein juice smoothy, and boy, it made me throw up! Ugh! How can you tell which drinks you can add vodka to without it making you vom?

  12. Kym says:

    “A picture, a recipe, an honorable mention of bacon and homicidal tendencies. BAM! I win the Internet, motherfuckers.”

    Fucking genius. Seriously, you DO WIN the internet fo sho.

  13. Erik says:

    I mentioned the empanadas recipe to my wife, but could not find the discs at my store. I may have to expend more effort in order to have me some Argentine food.

    Perosnally, If I only had a shake for dinner, I would be rummaging through the kitchen looking for what else I could munch on. And for nutritional value, an Ensure is probably more than I will get tonight at McD’s, as its “School Night” – yay. CAN. NOT. WAIT. :(

    I watched Giada the other night and got a few ideas for seafood, so I think that counts for something…

  14. That’s better than any Girlie Drink of the Week at H&B :D

  15. Liz says:

    “A medal made of bacon.” That sounds like a song title. I’m not a song writer but I may just give this one a shot. If I make millions, I will then call you a hero!!

    I’m all in at Yabu’s blog. Two posts down with the rest of the week to go. I suck at cooking so they will all be rather ‘boring’ but they’ll piss off the haters anyway!!

  16. Dobermom says:

    You need to add some vanilla ice cream to that white russian for some extra yummy goodness :-)

  17. lynn says:

    Mmm, Golden bacon.

  18. “Geriatric White Russian.”

    Nice.

    Here’s another drink in that spirit:

    Phillips Screwdriver
    4oz Fresh squeeed orange juice
    2oz cheap vodka*
    2oz Phillips milk of magnesia
    Ice

    Mix, enjoy, & be old.

    *If you’re out of vodka, try paint thinner or M-E-K or tape-head cleaner or whatever.

  19. Jess says:

    T-Rex concurs, which means you win. Nobody disagrees with a dinosaur.

  20. Jeffro says:

    You, ma’am, are some kind of culinary/bartending genius.

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