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Suicidal Weekend. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I watched Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Saturday night because apparently I’ve hit an all-time low in what I’ll watch on TV. What made me sadder than the fact that these folks have their own reality show is the fact that I understood every single word they, including the child, said without reading the subtitles. After the show I decided I really didn’t want to live on this planet any longer, well, sober anyway, so I started drinking. The next thing I knew, I woke up on Couch Island Sunday afternoon with Keeping Up with the Kardashians blasting from the television and to keep from grabbing a rope and chair, I grabbed the gin bottle again. And because I’m under the delusion that I have phenomenal decision-making skillz when I drink, I think I may have made one of my best yet because when I stumbled over to my computer this eleven-foot T-Rex statue was in my shopping cart:

The neighbors are going to love me. RAWR, motherfuckers!

81 Comments
 

81 Responses to Suicidal Weekend.

  1. Sophia says:

    Goats and dinosaurs. . . call it a petting zoo and charge admission!

  2. Princess says:

    OMG he is so freckin cool. Did you complete the order? He is so great. I love him. Where on earth did you find him?

  3. Harmon says:

    Very nice choice in dino’s. I wish I could sleep that long. No alcohol helps either. I am jealous.

  4. Kat says:

    I dont think Jack is gonna like him. He’s gonna be doin a whole lotta barkin

  5. Holiday says:

    That Honey Boo Boo thing is like a train wreck. You dont wanna look but you canthelp it. Those are some sick women.

  6. Like I said…beats the killer robot all to hell.

  7. Riley says:

    OMG Honey BooBoo is so stupid sick. What is wrong with those Mom’s. What is wrong with that kid. She is aweful.I watched it cus a friend told me about her. I had to see it for myself. That is some baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad stuff.

  8. Riley says:

    Boo Boo reminds me of the movie “The Bad Seed”. Disgusting.

  9. SB Smith says:

    I know.
    Put pressure sensors below the grass where there are gates into your back yard. When anyone walks thru them, a recording of a screeching dinosaur begins and spotlights come on from the ground, lighting up the dinosaur !
    :-D

    Eleven feet tall !
    I’ve got to get me one of those.
    Or did they have an 11 ft. gargoyle ?

    If you answer the door with this “zipperface” makeup on Halloween, the little buggers will probably Never come back….or it might backfire and a hoard will be back the next year.
    Looks awful, but it’s only makeup !
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzC85Tm-fMY

  10. FitBit says:

    Nice Dino. is this the pool side one? Do you know where you found him or were you to loaded. I just wondered. I can google it. I just want to know what he is made of and if he can with stand the weather.

  11. Yabu says:

    I would definitely put that fucker poolside. Definitely!

  12. Jena says:

    OH!!! That T-rex would rule the courtyard with a tiny fist of rage!!!

  13. jon spencer says:

    Darn, the T-rex is plastic.
    Thought you might have gotten in contact with Clive Palmer and ordered a real one.

    http://www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au/story/2012/07/31/clives-going-jurassic-sunshine-coast/

  14. Alison says:

    Oh, yeah, poolside rex, and then you could slide down his back into the water! And put a little umbrella drink in one, er, hand and a sunhat on his head. Or…her head?

  15. Rachele Deagnon says:

    Save yourself, shark week is here so you’ll have some quality television to watch now. The t-rex looks awesome, definitely needs to join your other dinosaurs. :)

  16. fillyjonk says:

    The whole Honey Boo Boo thing both scares me and makes me sad. I expect that girl is going to grow up to be a giant unpleasant monster of ego. Verily, a t-rex of ego.

  17. GOODDOG_BADDOG says:

    I think you should put up a paypal account to help fund “bringing Dino home”…I’m sure people would be willing to help your plight. That is as long as you didn’t get sidetracked and spend all the funds on gin and circus peanuts while watching Honey Bobo -er Boo Boo.

  18. Mark12A says:

    The only thing cooler would be Honey Boo Boo and her entire shallow-end-of-the-gene-pool family chomped between T-Rex’s jaws.

    Watching television just makes me believe the gene pool needs a chlorine shock.

  19. Cheryl Lundgren says:

    My God woman! How do you find these websites?! After looking through the “goods” and realizing that obviously someone buys them or the company wouldn’t be in business, the whole Honey Boo Boo thingee begins to make sense.

  20. Roxie says:

    Yo should just stick with Animal Planet!

  21. Brea says:

    Aw, plastic T-Rex? You need one made of concrete, so the goats can jump all over it and really freak the neighbors! A goat standing on the head of a T-Rex, with a killer gin-toting robot patrolling the grounds with Jack & Thelma(the hobo-hooker cleanup squad)?

    Kids trying to swim in your pool is NOT going to be a problem.

  22. Lori Stewart says:

    I have a friend who says, ” HBB (Honey Boo Boo) represents the ultimate decline of western civilization.” I say that started when all the T-Rexs disappeared. And, Sugar Bear & Big Mama aren’t exactly Bogie & Bacall.

  23. Jena says:

    Y’all talk about the HBB made me curious. Now I am dumber than a box of rocks! I lost 75 pts in IQ!!! WTF! See is I ever fall for that again!

    Ha!

  24. Nicole says:

    That dino is pure awesome. I think there is an argument to be made for doing all of your shopping loaded on gin and circus peanuts.

  25. Sara says:

    They are THE epitome of white trash!!

  26. SB Smith says:

    Ok…this week’s People magazine with AWESOME USA Gold Medal Winner Gabrielle (Gabby) Douglas on the cover has FOUR pages of new nail trends plus a 1 page add with them for another new color.
    They all start on page 101.

    Thought you’d want to know if you hadn’t seen that issue yet !

  27. I can’t look away from that Honey Boo Boo thing. I hate you.

  28. Everyone keeps talking about this show and I have no idea what it is but everytime someone says “Honey Boo Boo” I think “Little Bunny Foo Foo” – you know, that rabbit who went walkin through the forest, pickin up all the field mice and boppin them on the head? Yeah, her.

  29. Cindy says:

    I was watching “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” the other night. Hubby sits down and asks what the hell am I watching. After about 1 minute he then asks WHY I am watching it. I tell him it’s like a train wreck, I can’t look away. Being from the rural south, I also understand their lingo without subtitles. I have also had Honey Boo Boo like children in my kindergarten class before. Thank God I no longer teach kindergarten!!

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