I’m pretty sure I have PVD or bone cancer. My leg hurts and I don’t know why. All I know is I’m pretty certain my days are numbered and I don’t want to be working up to the minute the cold hand of death chokes me out, so I started seriously working toward an early retirement. And since my hand modeling career hasn’t taken off like I had hoped, I created a Voodoo Lotto Altar. I bought tickets in this week’s lottery and by Thursday I should be on Easy Street. Or in the ICU.
Sunday was George Clooney’s birthday and I missed it! I usually do a birthday poem for him, but I have to go
eat a two piece snack box from KFC sacrifice a chicken for my Voodoo Lotto Altar, so here’s a birthday haiku I wrote for him instead:
A year older, Boo.
And we’re still not together.
Fuck this bullshit, yo.
Haiku is hard, y’all.46 Comments