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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 I just don’t understand why J refuses to talk science with me. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
My favorite phone conversations with J are the ones where I purposely go full retard on him. I wish I could somehow convey his total exasperation, then his sigh of resignation just before he hangs up on me. Good times, good times. Anyway, this phone conversation took place yesterday, when I was telling him about a trip I once took to the beautiful state of Washington.
Me: “… and the coastline there was amazing. Emerald green forests ending on these huge rocky cliffs that drop straight into the Pacific.”
J: “You know South Carolina’s coast use to be like that.”
Me: “No way.”
J: “It was. But then it was destroyed by… ”
Me: “By tourists?”
J: “No, by..”
Me: “By terrorists?”
J: “Would you let me finish? I was going to say it was like that until it was destroyed by…”
Me: “By Satan?”
J: “NO, LAURA. BY EROSION. EROSION. A BILLION YEARS AGO.”
Me: “Oh, so, by dinosaurs.”
J: sigh *CLICK*
Now here’s a picture I made of dinosaurs ERODING a beach. See, J? I understand EROSION.
No, no. He was meaning our coast use to look like that billions of years ago. The forests use to reach it. Now we have lowlands and it’s pretty barren. I mean, the land itself- not that it’s not covered with hotels and condos and titty bars.
You are doing a great job of driving him loony. I gotta ask though, on your side bar there is a “animals made out of broken CD’s”. Those are awesome… but how the heck do they handle those things? yikes. Anyway, keep up the good work. We have to keep our guys on their toes and shaking their heads…
Well at least those pesky dinosaurs left you with a beach. All they did in Indiana was flatten it out like a pancake. Stupid dinosaurs, they could at least left a mountain or two.
Oh my God, my mom had a friend that lived in Indiana and we drove there a few times and I remember asking my mom what happened to the hills and mountains there! I think she told me “Dinosaurs.” Ha!
Dinosauers are completely responsible for the environmental ruin of the earth. You can ask Al Gore.
My proof? Those plotting assholes left their cold dead bodies to turn into oil for the stupid humans to burn and finish off the earth. Murderous bastards.
The t-rex with metal detector is priceless. J needs to brush up on geography because you are living on the ancient coastline. Please dont tell me he is a Gis specialist.
I am so glad I’m not the only one who does that. I literally leave T shaking with frustration. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. It’s just SO fun. hehehe
Yeah, we didn’t have any dinosaurs here in Washington to erode our cliffs. It’s too close to Canada and I think we all know how the dinosaurs felt about Canada. And that dino with the metal detector is the best! The BEST I say!
Cool picture! Baby T looks very fair skinned. I hope his parents thought to apply sun screen on Baby T. A sunburned T-Rex is probably not fun to be around.
Well, I’ve heard that it was dinosaurs, but I personally believe it was Halliburton. It was that, or the gravitational pull of the moon.
The worst thing is that I really had my heart set on going on vacation near the cliffs of South Carolina and was bummed out when I found out they were gone.
Oh well. It’s nothing that alcohol and Xanax won’t fix.
Noah drank alot so he probably got the date wrong himself. If he hadn’t passed out, he would have made it to the dinosaurs to tell them to come aboard. It was the gin
The three questions that are most often asked of creationists:
(1) The question of THE AGE OF THE EARTH.
(2) The question of A GLOBAL FLOOD
(3) The question of DINOSAURS
So there was this dinosaur named Myrtle and it played on the beach or it’s last name was beach…Did it write it’s name in the sand? Whoa…I think I see a Fossil coming my way…
It was their giant robotic Erosion brand excavators which went rogue and took out the continent that used to be where the Atlantic ocean is now before they could be stopped.
The South Carolina coast used to have rocky cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean????
He really should leave not only the science but the geography to you!
No, no. He was meaning our coast use to look like that billions of years ago. The forests use to reach it. Now we have lowlands and it’s pretty barren. I mean, the land itself- not that it’s not covered with hotels and condos and titty bars.
OMG! I am just so surprised that “J” can still even think straight….
That’s why he hangs up.
Dear “J”…. Im with ya man!
Don’t encourage him.
Yeah! erosion…. I love the dino picture. how cute… and authentic.
Thanks.
You are doing a great job of driving him loony. I gotta ask though, on your side bar there is a “animals made out of broken CD’s”. Those are awesome… but how the heck do they handle those things? yikes. Anyway, keep up the good work. We have to keep our guys on their toes and shaking their heads…
I try. It’s my duty.
Those sculptures are cool, aren’t they?
If I win the Clooney dinner I will give it to you. I promise.
I would take it too!
Well at least those pesky dinosaurs left you with a beach. All they did in Indiana was flatten it out like a pancake. Stupid dinosaurs, they could at least left a mountain or two.
Oh my God, my mom had a friend that lived in Indiana and we drove there a few times and I remember asking my mom what happened to the hills and mountains there! I think she told me “Dinosaurs.” Ha!
Damn destructive dinosaurs. Although they do look like they’re having fun.
Don’t they though? But it’s SC so that means it’s hot as hell too.
Makes perfect sense: Dinosaurs are heavy, therefore them cavorting on the beach causes the beach to erode. Duh, it’s like J didn’t even go to school!
I KNOW, right? And he gets made at me when I show off my scientifical mind.
Dinosauers are completely responsible for the environmental ruin of the earth. You can ask Al Gore.
My proof? Those plotting assholes left their cold dead bodies to turn into oil for the stupid humans to burn and finish off the earth. Murderous bastards.
Sonsabitchessauruses!
That photo is plain just way too dam cool. That is all.
The t-rex with metal detector is priceless. J needs to brush up on geography because you are living on the ancient coastline. Please dont tell me he is a Gis specialist.
He’s a Nazi. Ha!
Poor T-Rex…if that metal detector finds some buried treasure, he won’t be able to pick it up with those tiny little arms of his.
I KNOW! The humanity!
See? Look at them. There’s no way they could have eroded the beach.
Proof–it was Satan.
Satansaurus.
It’s funny because it’s NOT happening to ME! I would so hang up on you a long time ago…ROFL
He holds out as long as possible.
Love it! Is that a jeebus fish on the sandpail?
I do believe so : )
I am so glad I’m not the only one who does that. I literally leave T shaking with frustration. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. It’s just SO fun. hehehe
It really is fun.
Yeah, we didn’t have any dinosaurs here in Washington to erode our cliffs. It’s too close to Canada and I think we all know how the dinosaurs felt about Canada. And that dino with the metal detector is the best! The BEST I say!
I hope he finds more than wristwatches. He’d never be able to read them on his arms.
LOL
I love the dino with the metal detector.
Those terrorists might have left something behind !
I know! I used a metal detector once. It made my arms sore. I’m that lazy. Ha!
Cool picture! Baby T looks very fair skinned. I hope his parents thought to apply sun screen on Baby T. A sunburned T-Rex is probably not fun to be around.
But they can’t rub it on with those short arms. Maybe that’s why they became extinct.
Damn. I thought it was aliens.
No it was DINOSAURS!
Alien dinosaurs, maybe?
Maybe.
I was always told T-Rex’s died cause they couldn’t floss their teeth with their short little arms.
Ha! GINGIVITIS! Makes sense.
Well, I’ve heard that it was dinosaurs, but I personally believe it was Halliburton. It was that, or the gravitational pull of the moon.
The worst thing is that I really had my heart set on going on vacation near the cliffs of South Carolina and was bummed out when I found out they were gone.
Oh well. It’s nothing that alcohol and Xanax won’t fix.
Alcohol and Xanax fixes everything.
That’s the truth, but they sure have a different opinion at rehab.
No, as male and female dinosaurs watched the ark sail out of reach, one dino said to the other, “Damn ! – Was that TODAY ?”
Ha! Poor dinosaurs. But I’m guessing Noah “forgot” to imform them of the proper date and time.
Noah drank alot so he probably got the date wrong himself. If he hadn’t passed out, he would have made it to the dinosaurs to tell them to come aboard. It was the gin
GIN KILLED THE DINOSAURS!!
That’s an awfully big beach ball, for such tiny T-Rex arms!
Probably belonged to a stegosaurus. T-Rexes are notorious ball thieves.
DEVILUTION, PT. 6
“DATES, DELUGE, & DINOSAURS
The three questions that are most often asked of creationists:
(1) The question of THE AGE OF THE EARTH.
(2) The question of A GLOBAL FLOOD
(3) The question of DINOSAURS
HEY YOU!
Those wacky creationists.
So there was this dinosaur named Myrtle and it played on the beach or it’s last name was beach…Did it write it’s name in the sand? Whoa…I think I see a Fossil coming my way…
And oil…
It wasn’t the dinosaurs themselves, exactly.
It was their giant robotic Erosion brand excavators which went rogue and took out the continent that used to be where the Atlantic ocean is now before they could be stopped.
Hmm so robots took over their world…
The Washington coast was actually an art school project. So was the Grand Canyon.
I’d give them an A+.