Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I haven’t handed out this many dollars since the last time the Chippendales were in town.


35 Responses to My bank just called to see why I was making so many one dollar withdrawals on my debit card. I told them to shut up and transfer my savings and I’d be in later to apply for a loan.

  1. Heather says:

    You MUST win! (And take me with you- I’ll open the trunk for you lol)

  2. Yabu says:

    Good luck. The last time the Chippendales were in town I went. Yes I did,looking to catch some run-off.Those girls are all hot and bothered, and I figured I might get in on some action. If you want, I’ll drive and put you in the trunk with him, film it, and split some serious blackmail money with you. Sounds like an opportunity to make some dough, or half a floor in his Italian crib. I’m open to suggestions.

  3. Hoody Hoo says:

    I just hope Obama doesn’t Clooney-block you wanting to talk about the ECONOMY or some bullshit!

  4. The Nickster says:

    I am afraid that I already won. Uncirculated 10′s and 20′s Brown paper bag. I will be wearing a red carnation. ps- I have a dollar, and some candy little girl.

  5. Jena says:

    Im surprised your bank didn’t OFFER to loan you the $100.00 in dollars!

    p.s. I hope you win or at least get a hand written thank you card from your boo with his #!

  6. Curtal Friar says:

    Damn, Yabu had the same idea I had. I was going to offer my services. I’d drive the car for ya, and you could enjoy a coast to coast trip in a trunk with Georgie boy. I’d also use some expertise and make the trunk crib super comfortable for you and your boo. We’re talking soft mattress, in-trunk bar, and piped in music (as loud as ya want). I’ll even volunteer to be the one to throw a sack over Clooney and haul him to your car and throw him in the trunk for ya.

    Of course, there’s a price. We’re talking a couple nights in a hotel for me before you arrive and the event happens, so I could enjoy some sun and sand before committing kidnapping and getting the FBI on my tail.

  7. Elphaba says:

    Shiiiit, girl, if Obama gets re-elected, it’ll be ALL YOUR FAULT.

  8. Jess says:

    Wouldn’t it be ironic if your plan fell in place and Clooney had E.D.? Oh, the horror.

  9. SB Smith says:

    “What muffled screams, Officer ?”

    Anne Taintor’s site ( http://annetaintor.com/ )
    doesn’t have that on a key ring anymore.
    But amazon has it !

  10. Liz says:

    I’m sure you aren’t going to win.

    First, you threatened to punch the O in the throat if he blocked your way to Boo (PS – The Secret Service is on their way to your house right now).

    Second, your $1 donations will be flagged for “cheapness” and you’ll be disqualified.

    Sorry but them’s the rules!!!

  11. Marie Nicole says:

    Much better than beaver-bucks!

    p.s. I used to hide behind the name Nikki Rules, I’m in the process of outing myself… I’m still the same snarky ol’ self though.

  12. Nicole says:

    You go, girl. I’ll even forgive you for donating to O. I understand the imperatives of lust.

  13. I’ve got $3 in my wallet you can have if you don’t tell THE BOSS. I’m not allowed to have real money because she says I’ll spend it. Isn’t that what it’s made for?

  14. Erinyes says:


    Scroll down until you get to Georgie boy…bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

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