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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 I need to officially start a series here called “Phone Conversations With My Boyfriend” but as soon as I do, I’ll never write another one. I’m a rebel like that. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
I need to officially start a series here called “Phone Conversations With My Boyfriend” but as soon as I do, I’ll never write another one. I’m a rebel like that.
Me: “…I hate her evil ass so much, I wish a truck would hit her. Right in front of me too! SPLAT!”
J: “You shouldn’t say things like that.”
Me: “Like what?”
J: “That you want people hurt. It’s bad karma. ”
Me: “Dude, I have been wishing people dead since before kindergarten.”
J: “Yeah, and maybe that’s why you don’t have a baby goat now.”
Me: “Oh, you’re just being fucking cruel now.” *CLICK*
Now, as promised, here’s a shitty phone picture of my beautiful nail polish hand-model hand wearing the winning color from my shitty poll- “Foie Gras” by China Glaze.
57 Responses to I need to officially start a series here called “Phone Conversations With My Boyfriend” but as soon as I do, I’ll never write another one. I’m a rebel like that.
Well that doesn’t look like shit at all. Unless you’re shit is filled with blood. Wait, maybe you don’t have rabies, maybe you have blood in your shit. Call 911 now.
Pin a photo of ice to his head for permanent brain freeze. He needs a little hitler moustache.
Interesting nail color….I like the mushroom colors, too and hate when colors don’t come out right online. The few times I’ve seen good foie gras, it was a lighter color than that, but I’m no expert.
I don’t know who the people in charge of hand-modeling are, but they are missing out on something good. Plus, you seem to have a good handle on the whole voodoo thing. You’re a double-threat!
Hmm….since you made a Hitler voodoo doll, and stuck a pin right into its head, there’s always the chance that maybe, just maybe, if the stars were aligned just right and a space-time continuum anomaly opened up right next to you, unbeknownst to you of course, that you’re the reason the Adolf shot himself in the head.
You should sell those voodoo Nazi dolls–sharper Image, Zazzle, Amazon.
You’d make a killing. (heh)
They would appeal to the unbalance of all political stripes because one woman’s Nazi is another’s boo, right?
Then you could buy a whole herd of baby goats.
It’s a win-win.
I was correct in voting for the brown. It’s great. Although, it doesn’t remind me of foie gras, but rather chocolate, which makes me want to gnaw on your fingers even more than the foie gras. And no, I don’t have a weird finger-gnawing fetish. I’m just hungry. It’s lunchtime, and I didn’t eat breakfast.
J sure knows where to hit, doesn’t he? Must be something he learned at Nazi Boyfriend School. It’s a good thing you’re so proficient at voodoo, so you don’t risk breaking a nail when you seek your revenge.
Laura Laura Laura!!!! OMG!!! Here is your chance to actually meet your boo!!! You can actually win a chance to dine at George Clooney’s home. Check it out:
If I were a hand-model hiring person I’d hire you for sure before some other hand-model needing company could, because they would run my hand-modeling needing company out of business if they got to you first.
LMAO!!
I LOVE that Foie Gras color!!
It photographed darker than it actually is, but what the hell.
It’s in their Hunger Game Collection! Ha! Really.
BEST. BOYFRIEND. VOODOO. DOLL. EVER.
He would disagree.
Well that doesn’t look like shit at all. Unless you’re shit is filled with blood. Wait, maybe you don’t have rabies, maybe you have blood in your shit. Call 911 now.
Ummm.
It is brown (my polish) the other is okay too, but thanks for your concern?
I think the poll stuff was cool, I’m gonna use it for something.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1trgIWENOdQ
HAHA!
Yep. Dookie. But dookie is what J deserves.
But girl, my nail polish hand model hands can make it look hawt. (HA!)
HAHAHHAHA!!!! Who’da thunk a nazi could be prescient?
So whats the nazi being curse with? urinary incontinent?
Yeah on the nail polish! It looks like the color mushroom. My fav! I think the color is gorgeous!
Well thank you. At least someone appreciates my color choices.
(The pins would have been lower for UI.)
Ah… so buy him a slurpee so he gets brain freeze!!!
Or just punch him in the head.
Pin a photo of ice to his head for permanent brain freeze. He needs a little hitler moustache.
Interesting nail color….I like the mushroom colors, too and hate when colors don’t come out right online. The few times I’ve seen good foie gras, it was a lighter color than that, but I’m no expert.
I just grab the bottles and read ‘em later.
OOps,…I’m not very observant…he already has a hitler ‘stache.
I don’t know who the people in charge of hand-modeling are, but they are missing out on something good. Plus, you seem to have a good handle on the whole voodoo thing. You’re a double-threat!
Thank you. I sure hope I’m discovered soon.
Hmm….since you made a Hitler voodoo doll, and stuck a pin right into its head, there’s always the chance that maybe, just maybe, if the stars were aligned just right and a space-time continuum anomaly opened up right next to you, unbeknownst to you of course, that you’re the reason the Adolf shot himself in the head.
Could be, could be.
If that were the case, imagine the headline:
Vindictive Voodoo Vixen Vanquishes Villain!!
I killed Hitler.
Yay !
There’s a reason for a Party !
You should sell those voodoo Nazi dolls–sharper Image, Zazzle, Amazon.
You’d make a killing. (heh)
They would appeal to the unbalance of all political stripes because one woman’s Nazi is another’s boo, right?
Then you could buy a whole herd of baby goats.
It’s a win-win.
I should hire you as a manager of my voodoo millions.
I was correct in voting for the brown. It’s great. Although, it doesn’t remind me of foie gras, but rather chocolate, which makes me want to gnaw on your fingers even more than the foie gras. And no, I don’t have a weird finger-gnawing fetish. I’m just hungry. It’s lunchtime, and I didn’t eat breakfast.
You should get a foie gras sandwich with a side of fries.
In this place? heh. I’m lucky if I get a salad that doesn’t poison me. Government cafeterias. Blech.
Blech is right.
You have really nice nails. Bitch.
HAHAHAH! Thank you.
J sure knows where to hit, doesn’t he? Must be something he learned at Nazi Boyfriend School. It’s a good thing you’re so proficient at voodoo, so you don’t risk breaking a nail when you seek your revenge.
HA! Years of practice.
DANG…he played the baby goat card??? J IS a NAZI!!
I told you!
J is a genius. Probably why you are with him
Also, how the hell did Foie Gras win??? What happened to the blue??????
WHO FIXED THE POLL????????
I really think people were all “Let’s make her wear a shitty color” without realizing that all colors look good on my hand model hands. Ha!
Damn. She’s found us out.
You certainly do know how to re-define romance.
Yes, I am very romantical.
Maybe we could split a baby goat. I want one too. But we have to name it Milo.
We can have joint custody. But when it’s living with me, it’s name will be Daisy. Daisy Mae as a matter of fact. Ha!
Laura Laura Laura!!!! OMG!!! Here is your chance to actually meet your boo!!! You can actually win a chance to dine at George Clooney’s home. Check it out:
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=722359&affid=100055
FUCK YEAH!!!
Thanks!!
Your nails look fabulous although I voted for green and I think you should do that in honor of the reopening of our local farmers’ market this month.
Honesty is never a good option in any relationship. Your boyfriend should know better. Here is a baby goat video to make you feel better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFtZL8PNUVg
Thank you. I do feel better now. Baby goats cure everything. Except rabies.
THE POLL WAS RIGGED. There is no way “Foie Gras” took the day. Everyone knows that showering together is da bomb…I mean the color. Don’t be a perv.
Is that what you learned in prison? Ha!
Okay, I’ll stop before someone ends up tased.
Ha ha…prison humour. Low bar. You, me and two tasers and last standing. See you at dawn.
Haha! Deal.
Ten bucks on the redhead.
Ha!
This shows Foie Gras color better….Oooh, I DO like that !
I like Smoke & Ashes, too.
Heh, maybe Stone Cold is for those assassin days.
http://chinaglaze.com/products/index.php?coll=57
I want all of their colors.
How much bad karma would someone get for saying “My karma ran over my dogma.”? Asking for a friend.
Hmmm probably same amount.
If I were a hand-model hiring person I’d hire you for sure before some other hand-model needing company could, because they would run my hand-modeling needing company out of business if they got to you first.
Unfortunately, I’m not. Sorry.
*Sigh* Just my luck.