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Shame. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Last Friday morning I was driving into work and I had my radio cranked like I always do, trying like hell to wake myself up and put myself into a good mood, when suddenly a song came on that I had never heard before. Immediately I was all “Ohhhh I like this song!” and I cranked it up even higher and started singing along, because basically like most pop songs, the chorus is just a few sentences sung over and over. I was dancing in my seat and making my concert face whilst singing at the top of my lungs and at the same time thinking to myself “I have to find out who does this so I can download it on iTunes when I get home.” So, the song ended much to my chagrin because I was enjoying the shit out of it, and I listened intently when the DJ came on to announce the song and artist.

“Boyfriend” by Justin Bieber.

KILL. ME. NOW.

 

P.S. I downloaded it and then I had J listen to it, not telling him who sang it. After it was done I was all “Isn’t it good?!” He just looked at me like I was fucking nuts and said something like “Jesus Christ Laura, that sounded like Justin Beiber!” Then he laughed his Nazi laugh when I told him it was Justin Beiber and he said ”You really need to go to a 12-step program to get over your addiction to crap music.” Then he laughed more of his Nazi laugh. Sonsabitch.

P.P.S. Now I’m posting the song so y’all can see it’s really not a bad song.

Okay. My name is Laura, and I’m addicted to crap music.

79 Comments
 

79 Responses to Shame.

  1. Jennifer says:

    I like crappy music too!

    (I secretly like Justin Bieber!!) LOL!

  2. Heather says:

    He sounds like Justin Timberlake on that song.

  3. Underground Carpenter says:

    Hi Laura,

    J is right. You are musically challenged.

    Please give J a fist bump for me.

    Dave

  4. Yabu says:

    You need a new radio.

  5. Jess says:

    Katy Perry came out with a tune that caught my attention. I had no idea who it was the first time I heard the song, but eventually heard a dj announce the song and artist. I was a little ashamed, so I took care of my shame with scotch, which is known for its medicinal properties.

  6. Hoody Hoo says:

    Classic case of Wham!nesia. The only cure is gin.

  7. The Nickster says:

    Give me a call and I will come over and tase you…but since I am 12, you will need to pick me up…and I would really appreciate a slurpy for my trouble. And a ring pop. And while we’re at the store, some porn.

  8. ManhattanMaven says:

    A couple of things become clear to me as i read this. I miss SO much crap music because i don’t have a car…and i come HERE for my daily dose of DRAMA…LOL!! That Belgian video is HILARIOUS by the way!!

  9. Melissa says:

    Don’t feel bad my bestie and I did the EXACT same thing. We both could have swore it was JT and JT is just hottness on a stick. Later she texted me with the bad news. I felt dirty and needed to shower.

  10. Victor says:

    Sorry, I only got to 35 seconds before wanting to shoot myself.

  11. mindy says:

    Damn Laura, I feel your pain. The same thing happened to me when I was listening to a Miley Cyrus song. I loved it! Then when I found out who it was, I wanted to burst into flames, puke, and cry.

    I still like that song, though.

  12. THE Mr. Bill says:

    Its karma for the rendering of you in hell with the Justin Bieber t-shirt…karma, she is a byotch! I didn’t need the video to know it was crap and will join J in a heart Nazi laugh…does that make me a sonsabitch or a Nazi sonsabitch?

  13. Joe says:

    no, it is crap

  14. Ha! You’re a Belieber!

  15. Jena says:

    It’s like I don’t even know you…

  16. rick says:

    I don’t know Laura. The Biebs? J makes a good point.

  17. Soooooo not clicking on that.

    I have standards.

    They may still be low ones, but they rise above clicking on Bieber’s song.

  18. Mark12A says:

    Justin Bieber, the culmination of musical evolution.

    We are so screwed.

    You need to listen to some heavy metal and drink tequila until your clothes fall off. Then you may have a chance at being cured.

  19. Nicole says:

    I still haven’t admitted to the hub that I have some Kesha and some Katy Perry on my iTunes. So far I have drawn the line at Bieber, though. But I understand your pain.

  20. Pug Mahon says:

    No clicky-clicky for me. I hear that and other pop shite just as bad at work. I work with teenage girls apparently, although they look like grown men on the outside.

    The shame I feel for liking the Barenaked Ladies just became less painful, for your shame must be far worse. J is right–seek help.

  21. v says:

    ok, so you enjoy canukistanian singers?
    that is treatable…
    ketamine is a good place to start…
    what i want to know is; what is this “nazi laugh” you are referring to?
    examples would be appreciated…

  22. Liz says:

    I’m NOOOOOT clicking on that.

    I love crappy pop music too but I draw the line at (oh, I hate to even type this) Justin Bieber!

    However, I will not judge you (unlike Thelma!).

  23. SB Smith says:

    I must not have any stations programmed into my sirius radio bands that have ever played Bieber, cause I wouldn’t know his voice.
    Doesn’t matter…..to each his own.

  24. Nikki Rules says:

    The song is crappy, I couldn’t listen to it all the way to the end. But I do know this: you loved it because its what you crave (a boyfriend with money to spend on you… swag swag swag)
    p.s. what is swag? does it glitter?

  25. ManhattanMaven says:

    OH. MY. GOD. You So need to hook the DIVINE Thelma up with Henri the French cat!!! It’s a match made in HEAVEN…LOL! The sheer combined dismissiveness would be AWSOME!!

  26. Harbqll says:

    After reading yet another exchange between you two, I still can’t decide who I’d rather grab a few beer with – you or J.

  27. Terri the Terror says:

    I almost lost my drink through my nose I was laughing so hard. I’ll hand it to you though. If that had been me, I would NEVER, ever admit it, not even to my mom who has alzheimers. I have Sirius too and that saves me from crappy pop songs. Sirius is worth every penny.

  28. zonker says:

    Well, I no longer feel the need to mock your grammar and/or spelling. Your taste in music, on the other hand…

  29. untbunny says:

    I did click link. Immediately upon hearing Beiber’s shrill ass voice I became convulsing uncontrollably and spewed green puke while my head rotated 360 degrees. In fact my feet came a few feet off the floor too! However, your one redeeming point may be….hell, there isn’t one.

  30. BoneyButt says:

    i let the kids play music in my van a couple of weeks ago and I too was dancing in my seat, then groaned very loudly when I found it was One Direction (which is considerably worse than Bieber)

  31. Jan says:

    Ugh, I can’t believe I made it through the whole thing without stabbing ice picks through my ear drums. Jesus fucking christ that shit ought to be regulated by the government and have warning labels on it.

  32. Jeffro says:

    I cannot stand Justin Bieber, but I cannot judge ya without being a total hypocrite. I owned an eight track of KC and the Sunshine Band back in the day. Disco, baybee!

  33. CGHill says:

    As a major Rebecca Black (!) booster, I am disinclined to poke fun at fans of the Biebs.

    (Besides, I actually paid for a Bieber track on iTunes – this one.)

  34. hotpants™ says:

    I downloaded it after I heard it last week. No shame. I love crap music too.

  35. The Oracle says:

    I only got halfway through it. It’s fucking horrible.

  36. All I can say to you is: I’m sorry. (Not really but Justin Bieber? Really? *giggle*)

    Giggle, Laugh, Cry

  37. Julia says:

    I caught my husband humming a Justin B song yesterday morning. His family and I are planning an intervention.

  38. Such a waste of 1′s and 0′s.

    (But then, I like Slipknot, so, you know, to each his own.)

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