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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 My friend went to Vegas and all I got were these fucking mints. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Well…after those last few posts, at least when you are kissing my @$$ you will have fresh breath. Perhaps this is a sign from your Higher Power. God works in mysterious ways. FACT.
I am 12…and I live in Nigeria and have inherited significant wealth. If you send me $2,000, I will guarentee you 10x. Please respond. The need is urgent.
I’m guessing you were either spacing out with rage or still sweating gin, possibly both, when you wrote that instead of fuckingsonsabitchwhowillbevoodooeduntiltheendoftime.
Ozium. (spray)
This stuff should be great for that dead hooker smell in one’s trunk. We’ve been buying it for years. Usually Walmart has it in the automotive car “scents” aisle.
“Ozium does not cover up odors – it eliminates them” http://www.atmosphereproducts.com/product_images/ozium/index.html
Next time your friends go to Vegas, tell them to go to the Miracle Mile store – Teuscher Chocolates and buy you a box of Chocolate Champagne Truffles.
They are to Die for. http://www.teuscher.com/
So, now I’m convinced my brain works differently that most other people. The first thing I thought about was how bad a dinosaurs breath could be; especially a T-Rex after it ate something that was dead for a few days.
I sometimes wonder if vegetarians know their first in line when the plane crashes in Andes? After all, they’ve been grazing at pasture and won’t have the usual bad flavor of predators.
One vegan I worked with would fart without shame. Of course, he wore a knit cap all the time. I don’t know if the two were related. The Cherokee name for “vegetarian” means “can’t hunt for shit”. Why anyone would hunt for shit, I’ll never understand. But I enjoy red meat.
I’m leaving the office now. I need alcohol. Or firewater, whatever. Plus beef.
When my friends come in from a trip, they bring me mescal…with a cute little scorpion in the bottle. But never a ‘fuck you’ mint. *sigh* You have nice friends.
FUCKING A!
I can’t wait until you offer one of the Bunch O’Bitches a mint! LOL!
And I’ll be all casual. “Here, try these mints, I think you’ll enjoy them.”
The best part is offering some obnoxious asshat a mint…
Exactly.
Fucking friend bringing fucking mints to the fucking dino…
Epic!
My friends know my dinos require respect. Fact.
Two days After they canned me at My last Job, I found a Tin that said “Your Fired!”
So that was like a late omen, eh?
Well…after those last few posts, at least when you are kissing my @$$ you will have fresh breath. Perhaps this is a sign from your Higher Power. God works in mysterious ways. FACT.
Dude, the word is KICKING not kissing, and it’s spelled ASS not @$$. Unless you’re 12. Which could explain a lot.
FACTS GALORE.
Nickster, I think you need to tase yourself repeatedly.
I think he’s enjoying the tasering a bit too much.
I am 12…and I live in Nigeria and have inherited significant wealth. If you send me $2,000, I will guarentee you 10x. Please respond. The need is urgent.
Will they cover the dead hooker smell from the trunk??
I wish! Summer’s comin’.
Odo-ban works. Don’t ask me how I know.
We used that in the vet clinic.
I’m confused by the term “friend” in the title.
I’m guessing you were either spacing out with rage or still sweating gin, possibly both, when you wrote that instead of fuckingsonsabitchwhowillbevoodooeduntiltheendoftime.
It’s okay…it’s a common typo.
Ha! I am kinda known for my typos here too.
Ozium. (spray)
This stuff should be great for that dead hooker smell in one’s trunk. We’ve been buying it for years. Usually Walmart has it in the automotive car “scents” aisle.
“Ozium does not cover up odors – it eliminates them”
http://www.atmosphereproducts.com/product_images/ozium/index.html
Next time your friends go to Vegas, tell them to go to the Miracle Mile store – Teuscher Chocolates and buy you a box of Chocolate Champagne Truffles.
They are to Die for.
http://www.teuscher.com/
I do loves me some truffles.
Their site doesn’t list Vegas, but I know there’s a store there !
You’re closer. You should go get me some! HA!
The mints were probably superior to what I got in Vegas.
That should stay in Vegas.
So, now I’m convinced my brain works differently that most other people. The first thing I thought about was how bad a dinosaurs breath could be; especially a T-Rex after it ate something that was dead for a few days.
But Stegs were vegetarian. Now that I think about it, my vegetarian friends smell kinda weird. So yeah, probably most dinos needed heavy duty mints.
I sometimes wonder if vegetarians know their first in line when the plane crashes in Andes? After all, they’ve been grazing at pasture and won’t have the usual bad flavor of predators.
Yeah, and they don’t have the body fat we carnivores store up, so they’re pretty much the entrees.
One vegan I worked with would fart without shame. Of course, he wore a knit cap all the time. I don’t know if the two were related. The Cherokee name for “vegetarian” means “can’t hunt for shit”. Why anyone would hunt for shit, I’ll never understand. But I enjoy red meat.
I’m leaving the office now. I need alcohol. Or firewater, whatever. Plus beef.
Mmm steak. MMMMM, BACON.
At least you got some gifts! My friends bring me a whole lotta nothing. I think they are soon to be ex-friends.
You need to re-evaluate your friendship with them for sure. Ha!
No Comment.
Just wanted to stop by your office desk to have one of those tasty mints you hand out to everybody.
Only take one please. So many fuckers, and only so many mints.
*frantically searches for company stock*
HAHAHA!
Do they come in Spanish? Wait, how do you say “fuck you” en espanol?
If I knew that I could work for the UN.
vaffancullo in Italian, dorme mecum in Latin, vas te faire encule in French, and que te den por culo is one Spanish way.
You are a swearing word scientist.
When my friends come in from a trip, they bring me mescal…with a cute little scorpion in the bottle. But never a ‘fuck you’ mint. *sigh* You have nice friends.
I really do.
Do ya think Jack could use a mint?
Or four, or five.
I see no mint fornication in that photo. So much for truth in advertising.
Ha! Lies, all lies.
Could have been worse. They could have brought you some dead guys balls.
She probably left those buried in the desert.