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My friend went to Vegas and all I got were these fucking mints. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Dinosaur Fact: Stegosauruses are obsessed with having fresh, minty breath.

And I love them.

50 Comments
 

50 Responses to My friend went to Vegas and all I got were these fucking mints.

  1. Jennifer says:

    I can’t wait until you offer one of the Bunch O’Bitches a mint! LOL!

  2. Hoody Hoo says:

    The best part is offering some obnoxious asshat a mint…

  3. Jena says:

    Fucking friend bringing fucking mints to the fucking dino…

    Epic!

  4. Timothy J McCorkle says:

    Two days After they canned me at My last Job, I found a Tin that said “Your Fired!”

  5. The Nickster says:

    Well…after those last few posts, at least when you are kissing my @$$ you will have fresh breath. Perhaps this is a sign from your Higher Power. God works in mysterious ways. FACT.

  6. PlayinPosse says:

    Will they cover the dead hooker smell from the trunk??

  7. I’m confused by the term “friend” in the title.

    I’m guessing you were either spacing out with rage or still sweating gin, possibly both, when you wrote that instead of fuckingsonsabitchwhowillbevoodooeduntiltheendoftime.

    It’s okay…it’s a common typo.

  8. SB Smith says:

    Ozium. (spray)
    This stuff should be great for that dead hooker smell in one’s trunk. We’ve been buying it for years. Usually Walmart has it in the automotive car “scents” aisle.
    “Ozium does not cover up odors – it eliminates them”
    http://www.atmosphereproducts.com/product_images/ozium/index.html

    Next time your friends go to Vegas, tell them to go to the Miracle Mile store – Teuscher Chocolates and buy you a box of Chocolate Champagne Truffles.
    They are to Die for.
    http://www.teuscher.com/

  9. SB Smith says:

    Their site doesn’t list Vegas, but I know there’s a store there !

  10. Mark12A says:

    The mints were probably superior to what I got in Vegas.

  11. Jess says:

    So, now I’m convinced my brain works differently that most other people. The first thing I thought about was how bad a dinosaurs breath could be; especially a T-Rex after it ate something that was dead for a few days.

    • Laura says:

      But Stegs were vegetarian. Now that I think about it, my vegetarian friends smell kinda weird. So yeah, probably most dinos needed heavy duty mints.

      • Jess says:

        I sometimes wonder if vegetarians know their first in line when the plane crashes in Andes? After all, they’ve been grazing at pasture and won’t have the usual bad flavor of predators.

        • Laura says:

          Yeah, and they don’t have the body fat we carnivores store up, so they’re pretty much the entrees.

          • Mark12A says:

            One vegan I worked with would fart without shame. Of course, he wore a knit cap all the time. I don’t know if the two were related. The Cherokee name for “vegetarian” means “can’t hunt for shit”. Why anyone would hunt for shit, I’ll never understand. But I enjoy red meat.

            I’m leaving the office now. I need alcohol. Or firewater, whatever. Plus beef.

          • Laura says:

            Mmm steak. MMMMM, BACON.

  12. Liz says:

    At least you got some gifts! My friends bring me a whole lotta nothing. I think they are soon to be ex-friends.

  13. No Comment.

    Just wanted to stop by your office desk to have one of those tasty mints you hand out to everybody.

  14. *frantically searches for company stock* :D

  15. Nikki Rules says:

    Do they come in Spanish? Wait, how do you say “fuck you” en espanol?

  16. Mrs. Who says:

    When my friends come in from a trip, they bring me mescal…with a cute little scorpion in the bottle. But never a ‘fuck you’ mint. *sigh* You have nice friends.

  17. rick says:

    Do ya think Jack could use a mint?

  18. Alison says:

    I see no mint fornication in that photo. So much for truth in advertising.

  19. Larry says:

    Could have been worse. They could have brought you some dead guys balls.

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