Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
From the monthly archives: April 2012

Yes, there will be incessant posting about George Clooney and how I’ll win those tickets to his dinner, why do you ask?

By On April 25, 2012 · 48 Comments

The conversation I imagine that will take place between Barack Obama and George Clooney at the Fundraiser Dinner I will be attending because I WILL win those tickets:

 

The actual conversation that will take place between Barack Obama and George Clooney at the Fundraiser Dinner I will be attending because I WILL win those [...]

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My bank just called to see why I was making so many one dollar withdrawals on my debit card. I told them to shut up and transfer my savings and I’d be in later to apply for a loan.

By On April 24, 2012 · 35 Comments

I haven’t handed out this many dollars since the last time the Chippendales were in town.

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Winning the Lottery of Love.

By On April 23, 2012 · 58 Comments

George Clooney is campaigning for Obama, but I don’t care about that, what I care about is George Clooney is raffling off two tickets to have dinner at his house in Los Angeles with him and some other celebrities, and of course, the President on May 10. But I don’t care about the [...]

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I need to officially start a series here called “Phone Conversations With My Boyfriend” but as soon as I do, I’ll never write another one. I’m a rebel like that.

By On April 19, 2012 · 57 Comments

Me: “…I hate her evil ass so much, I wish a truck would hit her. Right in front of me too! SPLAT!”

J: “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

Me: “Like what?”

J: “That you want people hurt. It’s bad karma. ”

Me: “Dude, I have been wishing people dead since before kindergarten.”

J: “Yeah, and maybe that’s [...]

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