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Because I need more things to do… | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I signed up to become a volunteer weekend foster home for a service dog for Palmetto Animal Assisted Life Services, also known as PAALS. They’re an organization that trains and places service dogs to people with disabilities. Most of their dogs are initially trained by prisoners during the week and then on weekends they want the dogs in a home environment as part of their on-going training. I will be assigned a dog and pick it up from PAALS on Friday and return it to them Monday morning. While the dog is in my care I will continue its training. I will also take it on outings, things prisoners can’t do, so it can be socialized in places like the mall, grocery store, restaurants, any place full of people really.

When I contacted them about volunteering they wanted to know what other animals were in my house, because they really want their dogs to experience different things. I told them I had two cats, a bird, and a small dog. Then I had to fill out an application where it asked about the behavior of my dog. Lawd. I was just about to tear up the form when I thought “If this dog can tolerate Jack, it could tolerate any stressful situation. Jack could be their barometer of sorts.” When I told J what I was doing, the first thing he said was “Oh God, let’s hope it doesn’t learn from Jack the Destroyer of Worlds and Dog Beds.” I told him that this could be a good experience for Jack, that maybe he’ll learn from the service dog. J laughed and laughed and laughed. Then he said “Wait, I know what you’re up to. You plan on keeping their dog and returning Jack to them on Monday.” Hmm…

Here’s how I envision that would end:

Attica! Attica!

76 Comments
 

76 Responses to Because I need more things to do…

  1. Yabu says:

    Seriously, that’a a really good thing you’re doing, and Jack looks good in stripes.

    Do know what breed you’ll be getting?

  2. BoneyButt says:

    Jack could be a service dog…if the service was ripping up items. He could help be an evidence destroyer. That would be a service to someone

  3. TINK says:

    I have seen Jack and he is little but I think he would be a scrapper and would be very protective of you. It may be a problem. But I think this whole idea is so cool. and Jack may enjoy the company. Wait… are u taking Jack on your “outings” …hmmm. He does look dashing in stripes.

    • Laura says:

      No Jack won’t be permitted to go to these places- only service dogs. He’s barely permitted at the dog park. He once tried to attack a police dog that had a cop on the other end of the leash. I begged him to arrest him.

      If it proves to be a problem then I can’t do it. It’s Jack’s home first and above all. He has been known to enjoy playing with other dogs so we will see.

      • SB Smith says:

        I hope it isn’t a problem for Jack as well, but you also have to hope the weekend dogs are Cat friendly !
        As you’ve said, it’s their home first….

        • Laura says:

          They want them around as many other animals as possible. And most definitely, my animals come first. My cats and bird are used to other dogs. Jack will be a problem if he doesn’t approve- but he’s had many dog friends before.

      • Alison says:

        You’ll be introducing them on neutral territory, right? I can just see Jack barring the front door with fangs flashing and a switchblade in, er, paw.

  4. Michelle J says:

    Poor Jack…he will have to put up with another dog in his territory. I bet the other dog will need therapy. :)

  5. Jess says:

    Jack doesn’t look guilty; they never do. Next thing you know, a sock disappears and is later found torn to shreds.

  6. Alison says:

    What a fantastic way to help support service dog training. I would love to do this. You’ll have to let us know how the Prison Bitch reacts to the dead hookers (did you ever get them buried?)

  7. Larry says:

    I’m thinking there should be more fire in that picture. Fire and dismembered dinosaurs.
    And the service dogs will come out more awesome for being in your presence. Either that or they will need therapy. Think of it as a pass/fail sort of test for them.

  8. Curtal Friar says:

    In response to your answer to Larry:

    A service dog that fetches beers on command?

    That would indeed be unmistakably grand!

    Especially if it brought you a nice cold beer even when your fridge was empty. That would be a dog worth its weight in gold.

  9. Jennifer says:

    You’ll be great at this!!

  10. Jena says:

    You are awesome. FACT!

  11. Jena says:

    p.s…. I have to agree with J…LOL

  12. Fluffy says:

    You’re seriously awesome!

  13. untbunny says:

    It’s great that you are helping PAALS. I adopted three special needs kids and have seen the benefit of therapy animals. I don’t have anything clever to say. Sorry to be a downer!
    BTW: I LOVE Dog Day Afternoon!

    • Laura says:

      That is not being a downer!

      I used to work for veterinarian years and years ago and I used to LOVE the well-behaved therapy dogs. My fave was a seeing eye dog who LOVED coming in. His name was Bosco.

  14. Dogs for the elderly and impaired “trained by prisoners?!?!?”
    Obviously the state-issue, well-meaning tards in charge have never seen “The Doberman Gang.”
    Yeah, that Attica pic of Jack is perfect.
    I’ll look for you guys on the news.

  15. Melissa says:

    If your Jack escaped the pen it would be my Jack (a Goldendoodle) who would boost him over the wall to freedom.

  16. Liz says:

    How totally cool of you to do this! I think it will be fun and a learning experience for everyone involved.

    I just hope the dog you bring home doesn’t pick up any of Jack’s “bad habits.” HA! He might chew an escape hole for the prisoners when he gets back there!

  17. Jeffro says:

    My sister, who is actually allergic to cats, fosters several for a no kill organization. Her cocker spaniel hates it. I think she is awesome for providing these cats with a home, albeit temporary.

    You are awesome as well, dammit! Good luck, and I’ll bet it’s pretty rewarding as well as some fine blog fodder!

    • Laura says:

      Oooo blog fodder…
      Bringing cats in would upset my cats so much. I’m pretty certain there’d be cat piss on everything , you know, just to teach me a lesson.

      And thank you.

    • Jena says:

      Jeffro, thank your sister for me. Im highly allergic also but that doesn’t stop me from saving them!

  18. Mark12A says:

    You ought to get frontal and profile pictures of Jack…just in case.

  19. aithne says:

    I can’t wait to see how it turns out. Will there be pictures?

  20. So…..I guess you forgot to mention the dinosaurs, mutant spiders and flying monkeys. I can just see that poor service dog Saturday morning, trying to tunnel his way back into prison where it’s safe.

  21. PlayinPosse says:

    You wouldn’t need a whole bunch of numbers, his would #1 (just ask him!!)

  22. The Nickster says:

    I have a simple plan that I think will fit the bill:
    * You tase Jack, The New Dog and J
    * You pour yourself a G&T
    * They come-to at the same time and are lifelong bonded (I am forgetting what the French call this concept)

    Problem solved.

  23. Aw, poor Jack. Always gets ragged on.

    Good for you! That’ll be fun. I heard it only takes 24 hours to get attached to an animal before it becomes YOUR pet. What will you do when they take your new dog away?

  24. Ha! It should work just to threaten him. When we had foster dogs and they would get adopted, we would tell our dogs – “one day you’re here, the next day you’re not, you best be on your best behavior.”

  25. Princess says:

    Brovo! Good form Laura, good form….you are a good gal!

  26. Tad says:

    DID U KNOW?…. that the diversified George Clooney (50) and nightlife impresario Rande Gerber (49) are launching a Tequila brand, “CASAMINGOS”. DID U KNOW THAT? So much for Vodka.. we will be moving on to Tequila now…..
    thank you very much..

  27. QueenBee says:

    You just can’t hide a good heart! Gin and circus peanuts cheers to you!

  28. Brea says:

    Aw, I would love to be able to foster animals in my house, but my King Shepherd, Jack, would eat anything else with fur, feathers or scales.

    I’m sure your Jack will be just fine. He could always use more minions!

  29. Ghost of Headless Guy says:

    I’m thinkin’ it’s time for a remake of Shawshank. This time Jack will have a pivotal role as one of “the sisters” since dogs are generally homosexual anyway. In this version, Jack will follow Andy’s character around everywhere and in every scene, there will be Jack humping Andy’s leg. No matter what the scene, no matter what the context, whether it be Andy on the rooftop about to be pushed off by the angry screw or when he locks himself in that room and plays Figaro over the prison’s PA system while the guards are breaking down the door, there will be Jack, humping his leg. Even when the other sisters are gang raping Andy in a secluded back room, there will be Jack going for the leg. Ladies and gentlemen, the Oscar goes to…

  30. LusherLaRue says:

    Boy, this new job IS keeping you busy. No new blogs since you got the new job. Are you preparing your house for possible 2-dog chaos? A Dinos v. Doggies showdown? Better put all the breakables, especially your big bottle of gin, somewhere safe.

  31. The Nickster says:

    In the vein of “giving back” http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f21_1307735072

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