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You’re welcome. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I bought a small pork tenderloin a few weeks ago because it was on sale. I never really liked pork tenderloin, but the price was right so I thought “What the hell.” It sat in my fridge for a day and I thought I had better cook it up because my freezer was full. I was too lazy to look for any recipes so I just threw it in my Dutch oven on the stove. I browned it lightly in a little olive oil, tossed some kosher salt and fresh ground pepper on it, then threw in a roughly cut onion and about 5 cloves of peeled garlic. It looked like it needed some liquid so I looked around my kitchen and saw a bottle of chardonnay. I poured the whole bottle in, well, okay, after I poured myself a glass, well okay, a Big Gulp cup, and I covered it and put it in the oven on low heat for a few hours.

Drunk-Ass Pig with a side of Garlic Mashed Taters.

What came out was by far the best tenderloin I have ever tasted. J thought it was fantastic and wanted to know where I got the recipe. I told him it was my own concoction and that I call it “Drunk-Ass Pig” (and no, I wasn’t referring to the chef).  He looked at me weirdly and was all “Laura, most people would name their dish something pleasant.” I swear to God, sometimes it’s like he’s never met me.

90 Comments
 

90 Responses to You’re welcome.

  1. Suzanne says:

    It is like he has never met you.

    (On a person note, I will be able to devote the time that you deserve to you after tomorrow. I am leaving manufacturing and its crowded days and its “we have to get that done attitude.” I am heading back to managing a department at a college. Productivity expectation = zero. So more time for you.)

  2. Yabu says:

    That looks damn good. Dinosaurs on strike or in lockdown? I love a good pork tenderloin. The Juju Woman has many concoctions for cooking tenderloins, both inside and outside. If outside, she uses one of her many charcoal configurations. Hell, we’ve been known to cook one up just to pull it for B-B-Q sandwiches. Where was my invite, I could be there before it came out of the oven.

    • Laura says:

      Oh, the Allosaurus was placed on the opposite table, I turned my back and BAM, it had been knocked on the floor and a certain weiner dog was slinking away with it. Luckily, it suffered no damage.

      I plan on more tenderloin in my diet in the future. And we should all have a BBQ one day!

  3. One Crazed Chick says:

    Wait…that wasn’t a pleasant name?

  4. Tink says:

    I swear to God, you should just stay home and make up recipes… “J” would go for that I’m sure. and by the way…I’m typing in the dark… LOVE IT!

  5. Panorama says:

    Yum. that looks awesome. I’m trying that this weekend. Thanks.

  6. Holiday says:

    So, do you cater ….anything? weddings, birthdays, Sunday night dinner at my house? I would buy the plane ticket.

  7. Angelina says:

    Girl, I think you should cook and let us name your receipts. Yep. sounds like a contest to me. and the winner gets the Dish sent to them… yeah.. that’s it.

  8. Jess says:

    No comment except I’m now hungry.

  9. Cochinita Borracha! Me gusta!

    That “Lie Detector” vid link is hysterical, btw.

  10. Hoody Hoo says:

    I’ll see your Drunk-Ass Pig and raise you the Completely Shit-Faced Lamb I’ll be making for St. Patrick’s Day! The secret is not NOT Jameson’s.

  11. The Little People says:

    Well, in Irish it would be “Ólta-Ass Muc” somehow that is not to enticing…. and in French it would be “Ivre-Ass Pig” so that’s not much different…. I dont know, what do you think?

  12. Michelle J says:

    Looks delicious. You would think that J would know you better because that is exactly the name this delectable dish requires.

  13. Alison says:

    Recipe? We don’ need no steenkin’ recipe! All we need is plenty of alcohol.

    (Musta done a good job searing the pig though; good color!)

  14. zonker says:

    Slather Dijon mustard on a pork tenderloin, wrap it in bacon and cook it on 350 or so until bacon is done. Holy shit, it’s good…

    • Laura says:

      That’s exactly how I usually make it and it’s just so-so to me. I KNOW! Even bacon doesn’t kick it up a notch for me. Of course, I usually just eat the bacon off of it.

  15. The Nickster says:

    Wow….I’m surprised there was anything left after a few hours. Good thing you gave it something to drink.

  16. I’m not a huge pork fan, but that looks good. I like being drunk, so I imagine the pork likes it too. At least, it would if it had feelings.

  17. laughingmom says:

    I like your style. In college we made Tipsy Weiners – I don’t remember anything except the recipe called for bourbon. Nuff said.

  18. Curtal Friar says:

    Damn, but that sounds good, and I’m going to have to make it this weekend. Or maybe tomorrow. Thanks for this recipe. And I will use the name. I think dishes should have colorful names.

    I mean come on. Who’s gonna remember “Laura’s Pork tenderloin special”?

    But Laura’s Drunk-Ass Pig? That name will go down in history.

  19. Curtal Friar says:

    Oh, and how many hours did you cook the drunk-ass pig?

  20. burgessinCA says:

    At last a good excuse to buy a dutch oven. Can’t wait to try that recipe

    • Laura says:

      Oh you really MUST get a dutch oven! I use mine usually about twice a week. Some are mighty expensive, but look on Amazon at the Lodge ones. The only bad thing I can say about a dutch oven is they are heavy as hell, so be careful.

  21. Fluffy says:

    That was my nickname in highschool, I mean college! ;)

  22. Otter says:

    pork tenderloins are awesome because they look just like those critters in “Slither”

  23. Jena says:

    I make a pork tenderloin all the time! I love using soysauce all the time!

    soysauce
    sage
    thyme
    garlic POWDER (Tones)
    onion POWDER (Tones)
    Adolf’s meat tenderizer (red bottle)
    liquid smoke.

    No measurements, just LOTS of everything, seriously

  24. Yeah, the Bacon Tourani from your swag bag would have been overkill.
    I might try steeping a roast in Arrogant Bastard Ale for a few hours.
    Beer and pork go together like baseball. ;-)

  25. Jan says:

    Hmm. Kosher salt on pork. Are you sure you won’t go to hell for that?

  26. I always fuck up roasts and such. This probably wouldn’t turn out as well if I used vodka, huh? Who am I kidding? Like I would EVER sacrifice good vodka to cooking!!

  27. Larry says:

    Drunk-ass pig sounds like a marvelous name for wine-infused pork.

  28. Rita says:

    You never really liked pork tenderloin?????? What kind of commie are you?

    Seriously, pork tenderloin is a gift from God.

    I love it so much I’m pretty sure there’s a fatwa for my beheading.

    • Laura says:

      I think I just never had it cooked correctly.

      • Rita says:

        Honey, you need to come to Indiana and get a good tenderloin sandwich. For some strange ass reason the rest of the country is too stupid to slice the tenderloin in thin slices, pound it even thinner, flour and salt and fry it crispy.

        I also like to slice it about 1 1/2 inch thick, saute it in a skillet on one side until you think the smell is almost burnt, add water, scoot the loins around and turn them over. Let it nearly burn again, add water. Lower heat, cover and cook until the pork is fork tender.

        Add in a few cans of Cream of Mushroom soup, some extra mushrooms and Kitchen Bouquet until chocolate brown.

        That shit is so good with the gravy over bread I could marry it.

  29. SB Smith says:

    I don’t know what’s wrong with J. “Drunk Ass Pig” is a Great name !…Love Hoody Hoo’s dish name, too – “Completely Shit-Faced Lamb”.
    My “Liquored Up Ham” doesn’t sound as funny, but the one time I made it, I followed Martha Stewart’s instructions to the letter and the alcohol in the bourbon her recipe said to pour over it.. ignited in the oven with a loud bang that made the oven door fly open and shut ! I think Maybe Martha was Drinking the bourbon.
    Laura, maybe you should start a cookbook “Grub & Grog” and we can all contribute to it with our own Much better recipe names !

  30. Nicole says:

    Sounds mighty tasty and I love the name!

  31. Pug Mahon says:

    Hyphens are important. “Drunk-ass pig” has a different connotation than “drunk ass-pig.”

    Hyphens are our friends.

  32. Oddybobo says:

    I use “drunk-ass” to describe many things. I’ve not, used it to describe a tenderloin, but I have used it to describe stew… and myself on occassion. Brava for a successful meal! ;)

    • Laura says:

      I’ve used it describing myself sometimes. “My drunk ass went swimming and it’s a miracle I didn’t drown.” Like that. I try to leave the pig part off.

  33. You should start a Youtube video series. Like My Drunk Kitchen, but Drunk Ass Pig, or Drunk Boob Chicken, or Drunk Hot Mess.

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