Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
From the daily archives: Monday, January 23, 2012

J has always said he views it as his responsibility to mankind to make sure I never have any political power whatsoever. I’ll have that motherfucker imprisoned right after the election.

By On January 23, 2012 · 118 Comments

Since announcing my candidacy for President of the United States on Thursday I have been on the campaign trail and by “been on the campaign trail” I mean ”drunk.” While on the campaign trail I announced that George Clooney will be my VP, and by “VP” I mean “sex slave.” It’s a hard life in the political limelight, knowing [...]

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