Last Friday was my birthday and after partying all weekend, I woke up all bloated and cranky Sunday morning from all the celebratory gin and Circus Peanuts and decided I needed to run some of the toxins out of my system before all my organs began shutting down. I was going along at a pretty good pace when I heard my [...]
When I was a little kid growing up in Cincinnati, our house was always full of a variety of exotic pets. Besides cats, dogs, rabbits, and birds, we had loads of reptiles. We had lizards of all sizes and sorts, turtles, even baby alligators, that my crazy-ass papaw would bring us or we would catch. You may remember the time he [...]
Here’s my hand-modeling hand catching a short bus:
I’m thinking that if I don’t get hired to model nail polish, I should get a job naming the nail polish colors. That’s got to be one cushy job. I’ve even been thinking of a few color names:
Dark purple- “Punched in the Throat Purple” Light Orange- [...]
I’m pretty sure I have PVD or bone cancer. My leg hurts and I don’t know why. All I know is I’m pretty certain my days are numbered and I don’t want to be working up to the minute the cold hand of death chokes me out, so I started seriously working toward an early retirement. And since [...]
