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Christmas Swag. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I went to the post office yesterday because they informed me I had two packages that needed to be picked up. One package was from Yabu at Bad Bad JuJu.

He sent me a bottle of hot sauce that he swears by and a beautiful handmade stained glass ornament made by his wife, The JuJu Woman. His dog Stretch also signed the card.

The second box was from Nicole at Autumn People.

She sent me a box stuffed with all sorts of handmade bake goods; cookies, truffles, biscotti, cake balls. Yum.

I was talking to J on the phone while I was opening the boxes and I exclaimed what was in each and then conversation became harder because I started shoving tasting some of those bake goods. I quickly told J I’d call him right back.

Four hours later I called him back.

J: “I thought you were going to call me right back.”

Me: (Ooops) ”Yeah, well, I fell unconscious.”

J: “Well I needed to know something four hours ago.”

Me: “Dude, I really think I fell into a coma.”

J: “Those are called naps, Laura.”

Me: “You don’t know that. You’re not a doctor!

 

P.S.  This was what Jack and I looked like after taste testing my goodie box:

Does this look like a nap to you?

59 Comments
 

59 Responses to Christmas Swag.

  1. barbara says:

    that picture is too funny-that is why I try never to take a nap in front of any one and also because I have a great dane that thinks she is as little as that dog and would try the same thing-have a great holiday!

  2. Jennifer says:

    LMAOOOO!! That’s how I feel after lunch every day! LOLOLOL!

  3. Heather says:

    Wow those are some nice swag!

    (I lost it on the last pic! lol)

  4. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    No, that’s no mere nap.

  5. Jess says:

    It’s good the Christmas goodies were top notch.

    An coworker’s wife once sent some cookies and other baked goods to our office at Christmas. As far as appearance, they were perfect. The taste wasn’t. I think somebody waited a few days and put them outside for the birds to eat.

  6. Hoody Hoo says:

    Duh, J can’t be a doctor, he’s far too busy being a Nazi! These things take time, Laura! Although I do find it interesting that unexpected baked goods seem to turn you black and Jack… Mexican?

  7. With so many minions, one would think you’d have much more swag than that. . .

  8. jena says:

    I can send u 40+ hydros for swag. Its all i got.

  9. Tink says:

    Nice.. and you dont share…. niiiiiccccceee!

  10. Ernest says:

    I wish I had thought to send you something. I am so lame. and so sorry. I will make it up on your birthday, I promise.

  11. Princess says:

    OK… Jigs up, who stole my picture out of my facebook files. That was not meant to go public….I didn’t have underwear on that day….

  12. Tad says:

    Nice presents….but that last picture? OMG what was that?

  13. Fluffy says:

    How would a new minion find where to send you swag/ pay tribute? Do you have a PO Box posted somewhere?

  14. QueenBee says:

    I am amazed by the generosity of people and by the fact I didn’t pee myself laughing at the last picture!

  15. cricket says:

    Hey, it is a coma! It’s a carb coma. Induced after goodies and pastas with lots of garlic bread. Really… for a nazi he is so badly informed.

    I stared in horrific fascination at that last picture. Almost couldn’t look away. That’s a lot of carbs.

    I share my carbs by recipe: Peanut Butter Cups

    1 3/4 cups crushed graham crackers (about one package out of the box)
    1 cup butter (partially melted or at room temp)

    1 cup peanut buttter

    2 1/3 cup powdered sugar

    12 oz. milk chocolate chips

    Hand mix crushed graham crackers and butter until well blended. Fold in peanut butter, hand mix until well blended. Fold in powdered suagr, hand mix until well blended. Spread in clear glass backing dish (not necessary, just for looks). Melt choclate chips in separate dish and spread over the above. Refrigerate. (For easier cutting, score or cut squares before chocolate hardens.)

  16. OneCrazedChick says:

    Wait, is Jabu trying to bribe a public officer in his new town! He’s really smart! Get ‘em with the goods, make them loyal forever!
    I can’t believe J called that food induced coma a nap, he obviously hasn’t had the proper training in the differences between naps and comas. We would slam the Nazi and teach him!!

  17. Dawn@LightenUp! says:

    Dang, dawg – why don’t my readers send me shit?
    Merry Christmas, you nut.

  18. Nice swag!!

    Next time, make sure you pass out wearing a bib. That way your drool won’t leave a stain on your shirt.

  19. Wow, that picture is a marvel. Why are all the chairs turned over? So many mysteries…

  20. Oh good god that picture is upsetting.

  21. Diana says:

    I know this does not relate to your post, but did you know George Clooney had MALARIA???

    http://health.usnews.com/health-news/managing-your-healthcare/infectious-diseases/articles/2011/01/21/health-buzz-george-clooney-recovers-from-malaria

    Thought it was a need-to-know situation…

  22. jam2 says:

    hahahaa…
    that looks like something left behind after a Katrina type event….
    thankfully enough for the TacoBell dog he/she had a personal floatation device…

  23. Nicole says:

    That’s one purty stained glass mitten. I’m glad I hang with the best imaginary people. :)

  24. Larry says:

    Good thing you had Jack to watch your stuff while you were recovering from your diabetic coma.
    Or more likely, good thing no one offered Jack a biscuit for all of your stuff.

  25. Yabu says:

    Enjoy, the mob I was with were doing shots of some GOOD Moonshine with a couple of pretty good shakes of Crystal. Try it, you’ll have to trust me on this. I swear, I’d never point you in the wrong direction. You do, after all, hold some high positions in the New Town.

    Merry Christmas……

  26. SB Smith says:

    You were Probably in a sugar induced coma….have you been eating circus peanuts along with the Christmas candy/gifts ?
    If I see circus peanuts in the store, dinosaurs, or deadly cute Dachshunds, I think of you and smile….Also a friend sent me that Christmas video of the goats jumping around. I know you’ve probably seen that one already.

    Good Lord, I wonder what happened to that woman in the photo……

  27. SB Smith says:

    Just a few thoughts about the park in the last photo. The chairs are upside down. Why didn’t she right one of them and sit in that ?
    (Heh heh…Too much sugar will do that to me and I’m not diabetic either)
    Her top didn’t just do that by itself, so why did she uncover her belly ?
    It looks like she sat on that short concrete wall, but then passed out. So, is she kind of teetering there ?…or did her legs somehow keep her from sliding down ?
    And behind her to the left looks like possibly the feet of an animal that’s laying down out of the pic frame…WTF ?
    Yeah, I know…too many questions.

    Awww….but her little doggie is there looking worried.

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