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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 Wherein I try to force you to look at my weekend photos. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Saturday was cold and rainy and while most people were in malls doing their Christmas shopping, I decided to go do an outdoor activity because that’s how I roll. By the way, I haven’t done any of my Christmas shopping yet, but that’s okay because the liquor store down the street is open until 10:00 p.m. Christmas Eve and that’s where I am doing all of my one-stop shopping again this year. If you are my friend, and you don’t drink, you are dead to me. Well, at least until after the holidays.
Anyway, I went to The Center For Birds of Prey in Charleston this weekend. Actually, my posse and I went. Correction. Half of my posse went because the other half went MIA last week with the flu or malaria or syphilis or something. The Center takes in injured and sick raptors (some seasons over 300), nurses them back to health and then releases them back into the wild, they also have a breeding program. They keep raptors that cannot be released due to being handicapped, and ones thrown out of breeding programs, and they are exhibited in all their glory to educate the public. These magnificant creatures will spend their lives at the center in the best aviaries, with some becoming members of the Flight Demostration Squadron. I just made that title up by the way, because that’s how I roll. I make shit up.
Contrary to popular belief it is not a Cheese Doodle. It is a piece of meat the handler gave him. If that owl ate Cheese Doodles I would have stolen him because then he would hunt Cheese Doodles for me.
The handlers came right up to you. I had to resist the strong urge to pet them because I didn’t want to spend the rest of my weekend in an Urgent Care getting sutured up.
Can any of these birds be trained to attack? Like when the BOB’s come out into the parking lot at night, they can swoop down and “BAMB” … Done! They are some big ass birds. Scary.
I WANT THAT OWL! He can live with me and ride on my (well-padded) shoulder and I will carry a pocket full of mice just for him! (because people don’t understand why you have a pocket full of mice otherwise…)
I have been becoming OBSESSED with the coolness of owls lately. There they have an area of nothing but owls! Like 30 some species and they were all nothing but cool.
I want an owl too! A royal owl! I just watched a movie last night about a guy who DID carry dead mice in his pocket….. hmmmmm….
The pictures are great- good for you, staying away from the mall!
This post is for the birds. Damn…I just cracked myself up. This really is an epic post though, because everyone loves pictures of homeless birds. I am sending you some of the tent camp outside of town shortly.
My boss is a pastor, and a hawker. I barely batted an eye when I found a bag of small dead birds in the church freezer, figuring they were his. (Although I did ask him just to make sure) I should mention the Cheez Dooddle thing to him.
I’ve mailed my check for $10,000 to be part of the posse. Will I get a certificate proving my status?
Yes, they are totally awesome. Sometimes he brings them to work with him, and I get all hypnotized watching them.
Except for the time he turned one loose in the sanctuary and it didn’t want to come back. Then I was just laughing.
I loves me some Raptors…yes I do, unless they are eyeballing Stretch. Magnificent creatures they are. I was once at the San Diego Zoo when they fed their Raptors, and it was unbelievable how the birds feed. They are very efficient. Those fuckers will kill and tear their prey apart in seconds. Then they eat.
I would love to have a Falcon, but then I’d need a horse to take it hunting, and I can’t do that here. I could be a “Christopher Boyce”, but I could never sell out my country.
I go to Reelfoot lake in TN on occasion to watch Bald Eagles fish. Very damn cool. They don’t dive; they glide right over the water, and never miss.
Great pictures…I loves me some birds of prey. Always have, always will.
They are definitely the BOSS of birds, and so interesting to watch. Like I said, I am starting to become obsessed with owls lately and J has a lot out where he lives. Here at the lake (Murray) we have Bald Eagles and they will even steal the fishermen fish off their lines! Bald Eagles don’t give a fuck.
Owls are way tool cool. I have several in the neighborhood, I’ve seen ‘em. HUGE, and bad to the bone. If I hear ‘em hooting, and they do hoot, I’ll take Stretch out at night when he does his business. I think I told you about my friend whose Doxie had a fateful encounter with one. The Doxie was too big to fly away with, but she died from the wounds. Damn owl was trying to eat her in the back yard. Anyway, unfortunately, the owl met the buck-shot, but it was too late for the dog.
I saw one the other night that had a least a tree or four foot wingspan. I’m talking HUGE.
Nature is scary as hell. I’ve told you about a hawk going after Jack when he was a puppy. He could have been carried him off if I hadn’t been there before the strike. That would have been horrifying.
I know what you mean, I’ve heard it before. Death from above. I seriously scope it out when Stretch and I are on patrol. I don’t think they would make a go of it if I’m around, but you never know. Raptors are beautiful, and they are bad, and good.
There’s a nesting pair of Mexican Eagles that live by my house. They’re something to see, although the neighbor has learned a tough lesson about letting his chickens run free. The ironic part is that he was the person that told me about the Mexican Eagles. I guess I’ll have to draw him a map.
Awesome pics. I’ve always liked raptors, and have taken my son to several shows or demonstrations featuring those types of birds.
Now, what you need to do, is get a set of raptors, hawks, maybe, and train them to seek out and attack bitches. Then, you could take them to work with ya and whenever the BOB starts to act up, you simply send out da boids.
Well, it might be a little too challenging trying to get the horse into your office building.
Otherwise, cool idea with the horse and ninja outfit.. And taking your horse through the maze of cubicles (assuming y’all have those) in search of bitches to loose your raptors upon might be really fun.
Hmm….methinks you need a whip to go with it, so every so often you can have the horse rear up while cracking the whip for effect. And if the whip just happens to land across the shoulders of a bitch, well, that’s just how it’ll have to be.
On an up note, I MUST ship a Christmas present to a godchild this week, so guess who’s Louisiana care package will actually leave my fucking trunk & be making it’s way to the East??? I’ll send you a tracking number so you’ll know I’m not a package tease again.
As for your Christmas shopping, it sounds almost like mine.
HAHA! IF this package is not imaginary and if it’s not ticking, I will send you an SC package and I promise to leave the Palmetto Bugs and skeeters out.
Ooo, raptors! The dinosaurs of the sky! LOVE them! Boy that owl looks like he’s just waiting for someone to put a finger within his reach, doesn’t he? If I had an owl I would take him around to all the people that I hate (long list) and tell them that he was tame and that they could pet him, and then he’d bite their fingers off and I’d laugh.
ME TOO! When he wasn’t hunting Cheese Doodles that is. I would also take their fingers and make necklaces out of them and sell them on Ebay. Or Etsy. I haven’t decided.
I need a turkey vulture. I shall call him ‘Horus’, and he will sit on an ornate raptor-throne above my desk and feed on the souls that come to me expecting actual work be performed on Mondays. His talons and razor-sharp beak will rend flesh from bone of those so-called ‘co-worker’ sonsabitches that offend my senses. Or perhaps he shall attack at my whim, merely for my amusement, when I tire of their banal water-cooler banter.
Horus! FEED, my precious… FEED on the vermin that nest in the corners and cubicles! FEED on the HR pencil pushers! FEED on the benefits whore who fucked up my insurance deduction and left me with the option of paying a lump sum or dropping my healthcare coverage! In fact, START with her and BRING ME HER EYES!!
Beautiful birds and great photos. Have you thought of dumping the BOBs and become a professional photographer?
PS – We have several places here in Wisconsin to see raptors. Two teenagers stole an owl recently from one(sonsabitches) but Dakota was returned safely. They kids claimed he flew away shortly after they took him. Too bad he didn’t peck their eyes out first. This owl cannot be returned to nature and has become the ambassador for the center he’s at.
Ahh, everybody with a digital camera fancies themselves a photographer, didn’t you know that? Seriously, I just point and hope for the best. But thank you.
Those kids are assholes. But you really should go see the raptors and help support them. I’m going to become a sponsor there I think.
Shazam, those are some good-looking birds. I am very partial to owls myself – they just look like they KNOW things about you and not necessarily the good stuff. There are several in my neighborhood that I see late at night when I’m walking my dog and they always give me goosebumps.
Very cool! Maybe you should suggest training the raptors to hunt down and shred whores and releasing them downtown……release the raptors, the whores are already running around loose…… and I mean that in all it’s connotations. OOH, look….Roket’s using multi-syllable words!
You got to watch out for those turkey vultures – they’re not to be trusted. I flew into a bunch one time in my glider, figuring that they knew where the lift was – they’re lazy too – and just as I got there they all started flapping their wings – no lift at all. I think they suckered me in just for grins – I barely made it out of the gulch at treetop level.
Redtails on the other hand, can be depended on.
It would have been soooo cool to see velociraptors, though as Hollywood has pointed out, shit like that always ends badly. But I would have paid extra.
OH MY GOD HOW BEAUTIFUL!! You go to the cooolest places!!
I try to.
WOW!! What’s in that owl’s mouth?
Contrary to popular belief it is not a Cheese Doodle. It is a piece of meat the handler gave him. If that owl ate Cheese Doodles I would have stolen him because then he would hunt Cheese Doodles for me.
What fabulous pictures.. you must have been really close. OMG, FABULOUS! I wanna be a substitute in your posse.. if someone is sick, Ill go instead……
The handlers came right up to you. I had to resist the strong urge to pet them because I didn’t want to spend the rest of my weekend in an Urgent Care getting sutured up.
You can join the posses for $10,000.
I love these pictures. I agree with Jennifer* you do go to really cool places. Beautiful
Thank you and yes I do.
Can any of these birds be trained to attack? Like when the BOB’s come out into the parking lot at night, they can swoop down and “BAMB” … Done! They are some big ass birds. Scary.
They can. If I had them that’s exactly what I’d have them do. Oh, and steal Cheese Doodles (AND Circus Peanuts.) Oh, and rob banks.
I bet if you used Circus Peanuts you could get the owls to carry the bank safe back to your hideout.
Where T-Rex would rip it open for you, natch.
er, “your” hideout me meant
Fixed.
You mean if I ate Circus Peanuts soaked in LSD this could happen. Everyone knows T-Rexes are law abiding when they’re not waging war.
I see you’ve finally figured out the secret ingredient that gives them that special color.
Now you’ve discovered why I blog the shit I do.
Is that a buzzard? How cool!
A Turkey Vulture. And yes, he was very cool.
I WANT THAT OWL! He can live with me and ride on my (well-padded) shoulder and I will carry a pocket full of mice just for him! (because people don’t understand why you have a pocket full of mice otherwise…)
HA!
I have been becoming OBSESSED with the coolness of owls lately. There they have an area of nothing but owls! Like 30 some species and they were all nothing but cool.
Force? FORCE? Hell, you’d have to force us NOT to look. These are beautiful
Thank you. I have LOTS more that will be in my Flickr when I edit them. Hell, I may do a Bird of Prey Month. HA!
I want an owl too! A royal owl! I just watched a movie last night about a guy who DID carry dead mice in his pocket….. hmmmmm….
The pictures are great- good for you, staying away from the mall!
Oh, give me animal adventure over malls anyday.
This post is for the birds. Damn…I just cracked myself up. This really is an epic post though, because everyone loves pictures of homeless birds. I am sending you some of the tent camp outside of town shortly.
Send ‘em!
ps – Harry Potter called and he wants his fucking owl back!
Harry Potter can just grow up. (Which he did and he be lookin’ good…)
I am pretty sure that is a crime, even in your state.
HE’S LEGAL AGE NOW! I know because I have an app on my iPhone that tells me when these movie dudes cease being jail bait.
My boss is a pastor, and a hawker. I barely batted an eye when I found a bag of small dead birds in the church freezer, figuring they were his. (Although I did ask him just to make sure) I should mention the Cheez Dooddle thing to him.
I’ve mailed my check for $10,000 to be part of the posse. Will I get a certificate proving my status?
As soon as the check clears.
Ooo you should go take pictures when he works him. They are so awesome.
Yes, they are totally awesome. Sometimes he brings them to work with him, and I get all hypnotized watching them.
Except for the time he turned one loose in the sanctuary and it didn’t want to come back. Then I was just laughing.
The ones at the center had radio transmitters just in case they decided to go for a joy ride (joy fly?)
I loves me some Raptors…yes I do, unless they are eyeballing Stretch. Magnificent creatures they are. I was once at the San Diego Zoo when they fed their Raptors, and it was unbelievable how the birds feed. They are very efficient. Those fuckers will kill and tear their prey apart in seconds. Then they eat.
I would love to have a Falcon, but then I’d need a horse to take it hunting, and I can’t do that here. I could be a “Christopher Boyce”, but I could never sell out my country.
I go to Reelfoot lake in TN on occasion to watch Bald Eagles fish. Very damn cool. They don’t dive; they glide right over the water, and never miss.
Great pictures…I loves me some birds of prey. Always have, always will.
They are definitely the BOSS of birds, and so interesting to watch. Like I said, I am starting to become obsessed with owls lately and J has a lot out where he lives. Here at the lake (Murray) we have Bald Eagles and they will even steal the fishermen fish off their lines! Bald Eagles don’t give a fuck.
Owls are way tool cool. I have several in the neighborhood, I’ve seen ‘em. HUGE, and bad to the bone. If I hear ‘em hooting, and they do hoot, I’ll take Stretch out at night when he does his business. I think I told you about my friend whose Doxie had a fateful encounter with one. The Doxie was too big to fly away with, but she died from the wounds. Damn owl was trying to eat her in the back yard. Anyway, unfortunately, the owl met the buck-shot, but it was too late for the dog.
I saw one the other night that had a least a tree or four foot wingspan. I’m talking HUGE.
Owls have night eyes.
Nature is scary as hell. I’ve told you about a hawk going after Jack when he was a puppy. He could have been carried him off if I hadn’t been there before the strike. That would have been horrifying.
I know what you mean…Stretch has had several hawk encounters. Scared the shit out of me. Those red-tails get big.
That red-tail let out a shriek as it was diving and had to suddenly swoop back up when it saw me…almost bust an ear drum.
I know what you mean, I’ve heard it before. Death from above. I seriously scope it out when Stretch and I are on patrol. I don’t think they would make a go of it if I’m around, but you never know. Raptors are beautiful, and they are bad, and good.
They are magnificent creatures.
Ah, buzzards. Just the accessory for Holiday Voodoo, eh Laura?
Indeed.
There’s a nesting pair of Mexican Eagles that live by my house. They’re something to see, although the neighbor has learned a tough lesson about letting his chickens run free. The ironic part is that he was the person that told me about the Mexican Eagles. I guess I’ll have to draw him a map.
And he was probably all “OH MY GOD! They ate my chickens!”
He asked if I had seen one of his hens; even described it. I told him no, although I did see the feathers scattered about on the neighboring property.
Oooh a lot of times they leave the head. I would have handed him that, but only after I put like a wee little Marie Antoinette wig on it.
Awesome pics. I’ve always liked raptors, and have taken my son to several shows or demonstrations featuring those types of birds.
Now, what you need to do, is get a set of raptors, hawks, maybe, and train them to seek out and attack bitches. Then, you could take them to work with ya and whenever the BOB starts to act up, you simply send out da boids.
While I am on horseback right? ‘Cause like Yabu, I wanna be on horseback, perhaps in some kind of ninja outfit.
Well, it might be a little too challenging trying to get the horse into your office building.
Otherwise, cool idea with the horse and ninja outfit.. And taking your horse through the maze of cubicles (assuming y’all have those) in search of bitches to loose your raptors upon might be really fun.
Hmm….methinks you need a whip to go with it, so every so often you can have the horse rear up while cracking the whip for effect. And if the whip just happens to land across the shoulders of a bitch, well, that’s just how it’ll have to be.
From now on you’re designing my life.
The falcon and the snow woman? Selling mailroom secrets to the sheriff’s rebel forces?
Amazing animals and wonderful pictures!
wanderoke.blogspot.com
Ha!
Thank you and yes they are.
Your weekend was tres cooler than mine….
On an up note, I MUST ship a Christmas present to a godchild this week, so guess who’s Louisiana care package will actually leave my fucking trunk & be making it’s way to the East??? I’ll send you a tracking number so you’ll know I’m not a package tease again.
As for your Christmas shopping, it sounds almost like mine.
HAHA! IF this package is not imaginary and if it’s not ticking, I will send you an SC package and I promise to leave the Palmetto Bugs and skeeters out.
“I am tired of these mutha-falcon vultures on this mutha-falcon grassland!” — Samuel L Hawkson
HAHAH! I totally read that in his voice. (Like I do most things.)
Ooo, raptors! The dinosaurs of the sky! LOVE them! Boy that owl looks like he’s just waiting for someone to put a finger within his reach, doesn’t he? If I had an owl I would take him around to all the people that I hate (long list) and tell them that he was tame and that they could pet him, and then he’d bite their fingers off and I’d laugh.
ME TOO! When he wasn’t hunting Cheese Doodles that is. I would also take their fingers and make necklaces out of them and sell them on Ebay. Or Etsy. I haven’t decided.
I hear that finger bones are also good for performing voodoo, so there’s that too. Win-win-win all the way around!
I need a turkey vulture. I shall call him ‘Horus’, and he will sit on an ornate raptor-throne above my desk and feed on the souls that come to me expecting actual work be performed on Mondays. His talons and razor-sharp beak will rend flesh from bone of those so-called ‘co-worker’ sonsabitches that offend my senses. Or perhaps he shall attack at my whim, merely for my amusement, when I tire of their banal water-cooler banter.
Horus! FEED, my precious… FEED on the vermin that nest in the corners and cubicles! FEED on the HR pencil pushers! FEED on the benefits whore who fucked up my insurance deduction and left me with the option of paying a lump sum or dropping my healthcare coverage! In fact, START with her and BRING ME HER EYES!!
I LOVE HORUS!!!! Will you send him here after he’s finished there?
By the way, I read this in a Vincent Price voice and heard a maniacal laugh at the end.
Eventually, evolution being what it is, there will be birds of prey who are bred to dine on HR types.
I can hardly wait.
I too am giddy with anticipation.
I actually was kind of waiting for a photoshop of a velociraptor in one of the pictures. No pressure! (Clever girl!)
Heehee I did think about it…but it was late Sunday and I am incredibly lazy in the evenings.
Beautiful birds and great photos. Have you thought of dumping the BOBs and become a professional photographer?
PS – We have several places here in Wisconsin to see raptors. Two teenagers stole an owl recently from one(sonsabitches) but Dakota was returned safely. They kids claimed he flew away shortly after they took him. Too bad he didn’t peck their eyes out first. This owl cannot be returned to nature and has become the ambassador for the center he’s at.
Ahh, everybody with a digital camera fancies themselves a photographer, didn’t you know that? Seriously, I just point and hope for the best. But thank you.
Those kids are assholes. But you really should go see the raptors and help support them. I’m going to become a sponsor there I think.
Ahhhh! Look at their evil eyes and their jerky beaks that want to eat my face!!! Still pretty fucking cool though.
I know, fear makes them cooler.
I have a respectful fear of birds, there’s something so beak-y and talon-y about them.
I know some people that are afraid of birds too. I sick my parrot on them. Ha! (Not really, I just threaten to.)
Shazam, those are some good-looking birds. I am very partial to owls myself – they just look like they KNOW things about you and not necessarily the good stuff. There are several in my neighborhood that I see late at night when I’m walking my dog and they always give me goosebumps.
Owls are stealth killers that are adorable at the same time. You’re lucky to see them all the time.
Get one good STD and all of a sudden, we can’t go on a trip. LOL
Looks like fun and once all my STDs are gone, maybe we can all go
Absolutely…once you’re not contagious. Gettin’ all those VD germs everywhere…damn.
Very cool! Maybe you should suggest training the raptors to hunt down and shred whores and releasing them downtown……release the raptors, the whores are already running around loose…… and I mean that in all it’s connotations. OOH, look….Roket’s using multi-syllable words!
HAHA! And I love that term “shred whores.”
I just type what the voices in my head tell me to……and some of them are a little scary sometimes.
I understand.
You got to watch out for those turkey vultures – they’re not to be trusted. I flew into a bunch one time in my glider, figuring that they knew where the lift was – they’re lazy too – and just as I got there they all started flapping their wings – no lift at all. I think they suckered me in just for grins – I barely made it out of the gulch at treetop level.
Redtails on the other hand, can be depended on.
Ha! Who knew what murderous assholes they are!
So I’m a little disappointed because when said “raptor,” I thought you meant velociraptor. Those would have been cool pics.
But I really like the owl. Probably safer than a velociraptor, too.
Only because of size.
It would have been soooo cool to see velociraptors, though as Hollywood has pointed out, shit like that always ends badly. But I would have paid extra.