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Just a few FACTS. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

FACT: I would rather poke both of my eyes out with a broken chopstick from Tokyo Grill than see the new Footloose movie.

FACT: I will be giving myself Olivia Benson hair this coming weekend.

FACT: The dinosaurs are very unhappy with today’s economy and the price of Circus Peanuts.

Shit's about to get real.

93 Comments
 

93 Responses to Just a few FACTS.

  1. Kate says:

    The dinos need angry signs to fully express their rage.

  2. Jennifer says:

    I want Olivia hair too! lol

  3. Heather says:

    Yeah, WTF is up with re-doing Footloose? Ugh. Whenever I watch Law and Order Olivi’s hair is a mess. And I’m thinking the dinos have it right.

  4. And the dinos shall crush the producers of the new “Footloose.” What a colossal waste of our film dollars!

  5. Tea says:

    I’m with you on the Footloose. If it ain’t broke and all that.

  6. Princess says:

    I watched the original foot loose but I really like Kevin Bacon. I mean come on, anyone with the last name of Bacon, cant be all bad. I like to watch them dance and yes I watch dancing with the stars as well. But I’m not paying money to see the new one that’s for sure.

    I love your presidential motorcade. and the Dino’s give it such a realistic touch..

  7. Holiday says:

    Do you have to follow the Olivia Benson Hair on twitter only or is there a web site?

  8. Jess says:

    You probably should buy a drum of mouthwash for the dinosaurs. Otherwise, you’ll find them eating shit to get rid of the taste.

  9. Yabu says:

    Well, at least Bacon got the eggs in the end.

    Bring your dinosaurs to the new town…They’ll get up with mine and we’ll have a real live Dinosaur Escort Service for the whores. Gotta protect our cash flow.

    • Laura says:

      Imagine having a T-Rex bodyguard. How col would that be?

      • Yabu says:

        Very cool! As cool as cool is.

      • Curtal Friar says:

        Imagine having a T-Rex, period. Assuming that it was totally well-disposed towards you and there was never any danger of being gobbled up yourself.

        Only….

        It would give you one hell of a wake-up call in the morning when it wanted to be fed.

        Can you imagine a T-Rex sticking it’s head in your room or in through the window and letting out one of its blasts to let you know it was ready for a morning dino treat and perhaps fresh water in its bowl?

  10. *looks at third pic*

    *starts praying it comes true*

  11. HJoody Hoo says:

    Those dinos are just exercising their right to free speech… and their right to eat the presidential motorcade…

  12. Hoody Hoo says:

    Yeah, that comment was me – I have stupid fingers today

  13. QueenBee says:

    I <3 your dinosaurs and their attitude!
    The new Footloose looks just plain raunchy… the old one was a classic. They should just re-release the original!

  14. The Nickster says:

    FACT: I invented the use of the term FACT. My niece thinks that she did, but she did not. FACT. However, she is going to be pissed that you ripped her off also. FACT. I also invented the Internet.

  15. Curtal Friar says:

    Footloose sucked. It doesn’t say much for my generation that it was one of the most popular movies of the time.

    And the fact it’s been remade?

    Whoever gave that project the green light was flying high on crack when he made the decision.

  16. I used that same sentence yesterday about watching baseball.

    “I would rather stabb myself in the ears with hot metal rods then watch baseball”.

  17. If the new Footloose featured dinosaur protesters doing the Boogaloo on the bodies of dead politicians I might watch it.

  18. Glen says:

    I sincerely hope the film idiots are not receiving federal subsidies to spit out all these awful re-makes. True Grit, Footloose, …etc.

  19. cricket says:

    RUN, FOREST, RUN!!!

    Damn. Those dinos are fast.

  20. Kim says:

    About those angry signs suggested earlier-your sweet dinos could carry

    “I ate my student loan grantor and ate my employment counselor and ate a union boss to floss and there are more where those came from.
    We are the extinct %.”

  21. I was going to poke out my eyes with fondue stickers to avoid the LAST Footloose movie.

    Luckily, there was enough gin…and vodka…and whiskey that I was able to drink my way through the 80s and forget about it entirely…until now, dammit.

    Bartender!!!

  22. Nicole says:

    Go dinos! I’ll pay for lifetime Circus Peanuts if you could get dinos to go all whoop-ass on the Presidential motorcade.

  23. Terri the Terror says:

    I had some truly awesome birthday cake yesterday. It was called french toast cake but the best part was the massive amount of bits of carmelized bacon, yes carmelized bacon, stuck all over the side. I’ve not yet asked where it came from because I’d go buy one and eat it all by myself.

  24. Barb says:

    Even worse, it’s a country sounding version! (I skimmed through the soundtrack online)

    I think of you every time my husband is watching Terra Nova. RAAWWRRR

  25. One Crazed Chick says:

    Ok, no new blog today. Did ya die or your rabies kick in?? Just checking to make sure you’re ok (I know how attention whores get when we miss a day of checking in on ya! LOL)

  26. Jess says:

    Damn it’s quiet around here. I hope you aren’t down at the pound again arguing with the officials about your dinosaurs.

    “They’re really sweet babies and they always give the tires back when I ask.”

  27. Anji M says:

    It’s Thursday morning, and you haven’t posted anything new…do we need to send a rescue party out?

  28. Brea says:

    I hate that they’ve remade Footloose! Kevin Bacon should be the ONLY Wren McCormick Ever. Ever.

  29. MorningGlory says:

    Just checking in; glad to see you’re at least responding to comments. I guess that means you’re not in jail, which is probably a good thing. Although with you one can never know for sure.

  30. Thursday, October 13th — Where’s the daily post? Did the thumb rabies finally kill you? I need something funny…..

  31. Liz says:

    Are you out shopping for more gin, circus peanuts, and bacon? Where’s our blog? :-)

    PS – I have not watched the news today. Did the Dinos “get” the motorcade? I hope so.

  32. Curtal Friar says:

    Hey, ya didn’t blog today. You alright?

  33. Otter says:

    I hope there wasn’t a styling product disaster. Or a circus peanut shortage induced dino rampage. SEND THE NATIONAL GUARD! cuz I need my flying monkey fix and it’s getting late.

  34. DogsDontPurr says:

    You were “raging.”

    What that translates to is this:

    It was a full moon and you was out flashin’ gang signs and shit…then you had to go get yo~self some mo’ gin and juice (and circus peanuts) and start shootin’ the place up or some shit!!!

    Or something like that.

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