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On behalf of the dinosaurs, and myself, I just wanted to say… | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

68 Comments
 

68 Responses to On behalf of the dinosaurs, and myself, I just wanted to say…

  1. Jena says:

    Ewww… now the thin mints… thats another story!

    OT…. Sean got a letter from a local retirement home… ROFL!

  2. amanda says:

    So much for that 11 months out of a year diet plan.

  3. Janie Jones says:

    Crap. Now I have to scour the cookie aisle…. Dare I dream the elves have a better price than the brownies?

  4. Nicole says:

    Those are awesome. And their Grasshoppers or whatever they are called pretty much replace Thin Mints. So yes, fuck you, Girl Scouts.

  5. So are the dinosaurs willing to share or did you get your own?

    That is the only thing that I can stand coconut in. I was shocked and confused when I found out they had coconut in them.

  6. cricket says:

    I’ll punch that T-rex right through his stubby little arms for that! Must… hunt… down… coconut!

  7. Tad says:

    Those fucking little Elves.. They are determined to make us all fat and diabetic stricken….They have no regard for Human life..those little fuckers probably cant even get an ingrown toenail.. what store was that?

  8. Jess says:

    I’d feel different about Girl Scout cookies if they cooked them at some big Girl Scout factory. They don’t. They pay someone to make them, pay someone else to print the packages and then turn the girls lose on the street to sell their wares. They don’t get a cut, or get to dole out what they think the national organization should have. The cut is set and the best sellers only get a pat on their back for selling more than the others.

    Can you say pimp? How about streetwalking? What in the world are they teaching these girls?

  9. Yabu says:

    You are now in charge of organizing a well regulated young lady militia for the town.

  10. MorningGlory says:

    Ooohhh – those are my favorites! And I have a severe undersupply of Girl Scouts in my life, so it’s good to know there’s now another source.

  11. Dazee says:

    Yeah, what you said. I love those keebler ones. And their thin mint rip offs too.

  12. Suzanne says:

    And don’t forget, the Girl Scouts give you, what, three cookies in a box?

  13. Jeffro says:

    You’d think my being a professional eater and all, I’d be less picky – but I’ve never cared much for coconut. Tagalongs? Weak in the knees.

  14. Dammit…that’s what I get for checking in on a Sunday–broadsided by Pseudo-Samoas. There goes the fucking budget.

  15. Jennifer says:

    I love those cookies! AND they taste better the GS ones!

  16. Heather says:

    OOOOh I’m going to have to try them! I hope the dinosaurs left you some! lol

  17. Those would go really well with some vodka. And goats. And Clooney.

  18. Hoody Hoo says:

    FUCK. YES. Free at last, free at last…

  19. I was a Girl Scout troop leader for a few years, and can say a few things for your ejamacation:

    #1– GS troops get a measly 50 per box sold.
    #2– There were 15 Samoas cookies to a $3.50 box.
    #3– The GSUSA is a public institution now, so they get federal funding, thus eliminating the need for this so-called fundraiser. But do they stop using young women like hoooers?? Noooo…
    #4– Fuck GSUSA, we haz Keebler. And elves are much nicer than girls. FACT!!

  20. Curtal Friar says:

    There are five families in the near vicinity of my house that have girl scouts. Every year, they all hit me up to buy some cookies. Also, I have two goddaughters that are girl scouts, and they hit me up. Then my boss at work has a girl scout daughter, and he brings the order form to work and hits me up for his daughter.

    I buy 24 boxes of girl scout cookies every year.

    Generally, we get the peanut butter ones, the thin mints, and the nice chewy ones that are shaped like ring donuts (can’t remember the name).

    I just can’t say no the kids. They knock on my door, I open it, they give me a big smile and ask if I would like some cookies, and I take the order form and order a few boxes.

    Guess I’m an easy target.

    Now, the teenage boys that show up every now and then, dressed like they just came from the bloods and crips old home day, and ask me if I would like to buy some stuff to keep them off the streets and out of gangs, and I give them my standard answer that I can’t afford to buy any new magazines and whatnot. I do offer my advice as to how they can stay out of gangs, but they generally aren’t interested. I told one of them I would be happy to give him a reference for a job, but he wasn’t interested in that either.

    • Laura says:

      Here they no longer go door-to-door. They hit you up as you go in and out of stores. And of course, people at work. I am just glad I don’t have to wait ONCE A YEAR for my cookie diabetes.

  21. mindy says:

    But, but…how do they taste? God, I remember having to sell those damn cookies when I was a kid. I never even made it to being a girl scout. I was a brownie and went to one of the ceremonies where the “brownie” walks over the “bridge” to become a girl scout and get her new sash and shit. I remember sitting there on my aluminum chair, thinking, “This is the dumbest thing I ever seen. Besides church.” I was a brownie flunkout.

    • Laura says:

      They are delicious!

      I did the 4-H, and that was when I was a lil older and in Kentucky and raised a calf. I halter trained it, washed it, brushed it and then sold it. It was heartbreaking really. DAMN YOU 4-H!!!

  22. QueenBee says:

    I like the dinosaurs as cookie guardians. Keeps your cookie stash safe from marauders!
    I also wondered why girl scout cookies were not made of girl scouts…. chocolate chip cookies are made of chocolate chips.
    I only buy from kids I know and I buy as little as I can get away with :)

    • Laura says:

      I don’t need ‘em anymore! Keebler’s my dealer now!

      Dinosaurs do guard cookies well, but they have been known to get into your stash too.

  23. amanda says:

    I found the link! and now I can’t remember how to do the dammm embed…

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/spiders-are-scary-its-okay-to-be-afraid.html

    Samoas enter the story near the bottom.

  24. dana says:

    I was wondering why the Girl Scout population seemed to be getting smaller. At first I thought it was due to me inviting them IN to my house, yet never letting them OUT. The crawlspace was starting to get crowded.

    • Laura says:

      Gurl, you should bury them with your hookers on Sunday…clean out that crawl space, you don’t want to be on that show Hoarders now do you?

  25. Aw man! My self control went straight out the window areound Girl Scout Cookie Time!

    Now what am I gonna do with access to these year round? (aside from grow my fat ass, that is!)

  26. CGHill says:

    Scouts used to be more enterprising. My first year in college, a couple of them had the temerity to show up at the dorm. I think we bought something like 390 boxes.

  27. Jenni says:

    So I guess Wednesday Addam’s is SOL and limited to once a year for her Girl Scout… cookies. Bummer.

    Samoas are my favorite and I can eat a box in 15 minutes flat. This gives me another reason to avoid Wal-Mart (besides the other annoying-ass people reasons). My ass thanks you!

  28. zonker says:

    Oh, yeah…this reminds me. You know that “Always check” link (aka the “enormous motherfucking spiders under the motherfucking toilet seat” video) on your sidebar? Watched it, I did. Three fucking days ago. Still can’t get that out of my head every goddamn time I go to sit down at what used to be my favorite thinking spot.

    Fuck you, Laura. May all of your circus peanuts go stale.

  29. Oh! We don’t have all those fancy girls scout cookies up here in Canada. But I can see why you’re excited. I’ll look for them when I’m in New Orleans next week.

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