Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
Richelle and I went gun shopping this weekend before we went to the range. We went to a store I’d never been in before and looked at the handguns in the cases when one of the most annoying sales clerks I have ever dealt with came over. Richelle told him she was looking for a gun for home protection and he immediately went to the wall and pulled down a .410 shotgun. I looked at Richelle, shook my head “no” and decided to let the guy entertain us with his spiel. Then another customer walked over, a huge middle-aged dude with hair like Don King, and stood listening to the sales clerk too. What followed was so entertaining, Richelle and I just stood back and laughed.
Annoying Clerk: “This here is what you need.” Cocks it in one hand like we were supposed to be impressed. “A burglar hears that, he’s running.”
Don King: ”Man, she don’t need no bird gun.”
Annoying Clerk: Ignoring Don King. ”And there’s no kick and you can have it sitting next to your bed like this.” Places it barrel down, muzzle on the floor, against the counter. “And pull it up. ” Places it against his hip. “And BAM!”
Don King: “Man, I don’t know what Lone Ranger Show you been watching handling a shotgun like that, but the lady needs a handgun.”
Annoying Clerk: Clearly aggravated by Don King. ”Well, here’s a .22 that’s lightweight and..”
Don King: “Man, a .22 ain’t stopping no burglar. I got shot four times with a .22.” Pulls up his shirt and grabs a huge roll of his mid-section. “My fat stopped the bullets. Burglar may be fat too and you ain’t stopping him with no .22 unless you get lucky.”
Annoying Clerk: Almost shaking with anger at Don King decides to change the subject. ”Well if you get a handgun you can get a Concealed Weapon Permit and legally carry a loaded handgun in your car as long as it’s behind a door, like in the console or glove box…”
Don King: “Yeah, it’s legal, but don’t have no drugs in your car. You have drugs in your car WITH a loaded gun, your ass is doing time. Happened to a friend of mine. Had a roach in the ashtray. Doing time now. Yep.”
Annoying Clerk: All red-faced with anger, turns to Don King. “Can I help YOU?”
Don King: “Nah. I’m a’ight. Help the ladies first.”
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71 Responses to Weekend Shopping
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How’d Richelle do shooting? Did she get a gun?
She did real well and yes, she decided on a S&W .38 special. For now. I think she’ll be hooked. Ha!
I believe Don King kept you from having to go off on that clerk.
I believe so too.
Sounds like this guy should be selling Mattress not guns….I am so proud of Richelle.. she has inspired me to look into this situation as well, I’m gonna take a class and see if I can handle this…
‘Tis is best to be prepared.
YEAH RICHELLE…. GO GET EM GIRL…. scary isn’t it…
What’s the scariest is how much crazy is out there.
Don King is your bestest bud.
A .22 for self-defense? From what? Chipmunks?
The sales clerk was ridiculous. If Don King wasn’t there I seriously would have went off on him.
A S&W .38 special is a good choice. Practice with regular, and put some +P in that puppy when it’s in her purse or car. You done good…you get an extra bowl of ice cream tonight.
I don’t know about SC, but in my neck of the woods, a lot of time in the CCH classes is spent on law. When you can, or cannot, use deadly force. Good to know.
Did she get a Lady Smith? Just curious.
Here, applications for concealed carry permits are up 200% from a year ago, and the majority are from women, and they choose a .38 more often than not.
She did not get the Lady Smith and I’m taking her to the range again this week and she’ll be signing up for her permit.
Good deal!
Hollow points legal in SC?
Behind a door in a car?
How about in the console where it is nice and accessible?
How about open carry?
That legal in SC?
Then she need not to wait to carry – she can hide the thing after she’s got the carry concealed permit. Just thinking about the immediate here. Takes several weeks, if not a couple months, to actually get the permit in NC but we are an open carry state.
Once she is comfortable with that nice new accessory and has it secured to her body, she’ll walk with more confidence and be less of an easy target herself.
We’re in your corner Richelle! Go get ‘em girl!
Open carry is not legal here, but you can in a car console and glove box. Last I heard hollow-points are not illegal, just teflon-coated ones- but I may have to look that up : ) She’ll be signed into a class this week. I think she’s looking forward to it.
http://www.guncite.com/gun_control_gcgvcopk.html
Yes, there’s a specific law against teflon coated bullets.
yeah…the point is, it’s bullshit. FACT.
I would have wanted to see you go off on that dumbass! Pulling that “you just a lil ol lady” routine!
Exactly. I made of point of telling Don King, loud enough for the clerk to hear me, that I was raised handling guns, was ex-military and hold a CWP and what type weapons I had, then looked at the clerk with a smirk on my face. You know, just to be a bitch. Ha!
I LOVE THE DON KING GUY! And he’s right, .22′s just gonna piss somebody off…
The “Bee Sting” of guns.
there is a reason people get shot in the face…
Thinning the herd sometimes…
Good. She needs a handgun and it really doesn’t matter much what the law says. They don’t mean anything at all if your gun is at home and your dead body is on the side of the road.
YEAH! Just don’t have any drugs with your gun!
Tell Richelle we love her lots!!
My sis has been an anti-gun dumbass for a long time. Guess what? Her hubby the gun collector is now teaching her how to shoot and handle a gun, because the amount of crazy from illegals here is reaching nuclear levels.
I know some people are strongly against firearms. I can’t imagine not knowing how to handle, or having a weapon.
Tsk, tsk…should have went a .357 and she could have run .38 +P’s in it. But I am not judging.
ps – please tell me you asked to test a taser on the dude behind the counter?
She found the gun she liked and got a deal. I now have a shooting partner, and we’ll go often so I am certain this isn’t her first. Also- a sidenote- I spotted a few I wanted too.
I would have loved to have tasered that guy as soon as he placed that .410 muzzle down.
I know nothing about guns unless they are Nerf brand so I learned something from you AND Don King today.
HAHAHA!
Every legal, law abiding citizen should be armed and ready to protect themselves and their families. I really DO need to go get a carry permit.
Tell Richelle we are all on her side.
I will tell her.
Now I want one! A Don King dude at every place I shop so I stop getting banned from my newest favorite liquor stores, and a handgun.
I grew up with (and still have) shotguns and rifles, but here, you can’t even own a pistol without a permit.
Guess I’ll be looking into that class!
Do it! Don’t put it off. I should have asked Don King if he had a business card.
Handguns, shmamguns. I like an RPG for home defense. Hit ‘em before they get out of their car. Don’t be waitin’ for no close encounters.
Ha! Damn, I bet you don’t get any Jehovah Witness visits.
Well, I learned from both you and Don King here. As I’ve mentioned before, I want a gun (and will get a conceled carry permit when it becomes legal in November here in Wisconsin). I’ve never had a gun so wouldn’t know what to buy and would need some help at the store. However, common sense would tell me that the clerk in your store was a douche. HA! I’m glad Don King was able to keep you from slapping the clerk.
Thank God for Don King. HA!
1st Gun…revolver…nothing smaller than a .38 or a .357. Same diameter bullet. Easy to clean and maintain, and you can shoot .38 out of anything chambered for .357, bonus is you can shoot more powerful bullets if you want, but you do have the option. Most of the ladies I know opt for a revolver 1st time around. Hell if I know, talk to Laura, she’s good at arming people. Just get something that feels good in your hand, get trained on safety, shooting, and cleaning…get your permit, and practice often. You will find shooting is fun.
Do it sooner rather than later. Better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it. Fact!
Also, since you’re going to work in my town…it is a requirement you are armed. I’ll supply the bullets and cleaning supplies, you have to supply the gun.
Pimps get brass knuckles too, right? Ha!
You get what you need!!! We’re on the same team.
Ha! Very helpful gun customers down there, eh? I blogged recently about an email Hubby sent me: (Don’t get all sensitive though. He means well.)
“Whats wrong with Americans? Family Feud question was, Name something you would give a nickname. Some answers were spouse, dog, teddy bear, and the last one i was thinking was maybe an instrument but i doubted it.
It turned out that it was a gun.
They give their GUNS a nickname.
Wtf”
All of mine are named. Some after saints!! The gun in my car is St. Christopher. My .44 mag is St. Jude, because whatever it hits is a lost cause.
I so need a Don King fright wig…
I was fightin’ mad just reading about what happened to Richelle. Mrs. Who and I would have been there with our considerable arsenal if we could! I’m glad you’ve got her back… If we ever make it over your direction, we’ll have to do a range day!
How fun would that be?!
St Jude, that’s GREAT!!!
The important thing is that she likes what she has and that she CARRIES it.
Turning money into smoke and noise is always fun! And now you have a range partner, so you can enjoy the gun line Lotharios together.
I see many more blog posts in your future…
Ha! With Richelle I imagine I will have lots of fodder. And yes, I totally let her fire a few and let her pick her fave.
Sage advice from a grandmother: If somebody breaks into your house, shoot them immediately and then ask their name. If they answer, shoot them again.
And don’t forget B. Drag their carcass the rest of the way in : )
Y’all make a trip to Austin and we’ll let you shoot just about anything you like. (Made the SOCOM go BOOM yesterday, Cackled.)
You tell her I said carry everyday everywhere and damn John Law. (And I’m married to him.) The uniforms only write it down and mop it up.
You’re doing great work there, you know. You should have an Ammo button or something…you could link it to your caliber and title it Click Click Boom!
(Sorry – too much coffee, I’ll go now.)
Ooo I love Austin. And isn’t the price of ammo insane?!
I’m glad I’m not the only one naming my guns…my main carry gun is ‘Buddy’, so I’ll always have my Buddy with me. My b-i-l named his ‘Kindness’… as in ‘kill ‘em with kindness’.
Haha!
Good for both of you! .38 special isn’t a killer recoil round so the gun is more likely to be used in practice and shot often. Plus a revolver’s manual of arms is pretty simple under stress – just pull the trigger. Unlike the jam clearing exercises for semiautos.
A lot of gunnies forget that recoil is subjective – a woman who has never been around guns is gonna be a lot more sensitive to it. If Richelle develops a liking for all things that go bang, you have really done your job well!
I’m trying.
Way cool! But the sound of a shot gun, of any size being pumped, is pretty scary in the dark. Don’t ask me how I know!
Oh do tell…
I said don’t ask!
On the upside, fat burglars can’t escape quickly, they can’t carry much, and it’s damn hard to miss them with a rifle, let alone a shotgun.
Obviously we need to encourage people to tank up with Krispy Kremes before they start kicking doors in.
And those low-riding pants that trip them up.
It’s a good thing I put my drink down before I read this post, or it may have come shooting out my nose. I just about fell out of my chair laughing at the mental image of Don King shaking his fat and proclaiming it sufficient armor against a .22.
Love your blog!
Sparrow
Awww, well thank you.
Don King: “Nah. I’m a’ight. Help the ladies first.”
Ya gotta love them big ole Southern boys. =D
A .22….sheesh! He might as well have sold her a slingshot.
Clerk was an idiot.
An entertainer and a gentleman. Who knew you could find that at the local gun shop, right? heh.
I know, right?
Oooo – I applaud her choice of gun! I keep a S&W .38 Special in my nightstand. Of course I customized it with a pink grip – just because I have a gun doesn’t mean I can’t look good. Oh and the gun’s nickname? Miss Kitty – from the old Gunsmoke series. I have a S&W M&P that is nicknamed The Marshall. Heh.
I will say, the sound of a shotgun going into battery is pretty intimidating. That said, while the 12 gauge is easy to hand, Miss Kitty is closer.
I like that name.
I rather find an arsenal to be a necessity as a modern woman. Hence, I keep a loaded 12 ga. by my bed, a .38 revolver in my night stand, a .20 ga. in the hall closet, a 30-30 in the basement, a .22 long rifle in the kitchen,
a .22 handgun on my person (which, I understand, doesn’t have much stopping power… unless I put one in your eyehole at close range, and the bullets are bouncing around in your brain bucket) and a compound bow in the garage. I am currently thinking of adding a .40 to my purse, and maybe a flashy derringer to my boot, for kicks. I also have my eye on “The Judge” because, really, who wouldn’t want to have a pretty toy called “The Judge”. mwahahahahahaha!