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It’s Q & A Friday! | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Question: Who destroyed my stapler three mintes after the cat knocked it off the desk?

Answer:

Question: What dog-stealing WHORE will be on television later this month on a dance competition show?

 Answer:

Question: What did I purchase for the momentous occasion? 

Answer:

Break a leg, WHORE. Break. A. Leg.

67 Comments
 

67 Responses to It’s Q & A Friday!

  1. Jennifer says:

    LOL! What if she really did break a leg?!!

  2. Heather says:

    That Jack is one bad dog!

    I bet the WHORE gets voted off the first night.

  3. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    Damn, you can hold a grudge.

  4. Jess says:

    One moment talking to the judges. THe next……..SNAP!

  5. Bobbi Lee says:

    I love Jack even if he’s bad!

  6. Holiday says:

    OMG! she should really be on “YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?” Skank!

  7. Tink says:

    Look at the innocent little face. That precious sweet little face, He is such a handsome little guy. so cute….I could just cuddle and squish him.. He didn’t hurt his little mouth did he??

  8. Yabu says:

    Jack is obviously in kahoots with the cat. You’ve got a problem. Anyway, Jack is good looking little fella.

  9. Tad says:

    Are you sure about that. It just looks like it shattered when it hit the floor… He doesn’t look guilty. Poor guy gets blamed for everything. and that WHORE on dancing? OMG they are really scrapping the bottom of the barrel. I think they are just trying to get people to watch so they get all the tabloid worthy people…Chase Bono? The Whore? anyone with a a story line. I wonder if she’ll have her little “dog” with her. I’m waiting for Paris Hilton to be on the show. I do love watching it.

    • Laura says:

      Ugh. I never watched the show before, but I will this time just so I can voodoo her real good. I will watch Chase too just to see if he does good. Everyone needs a paycheck. It’s hard times- even for WHORES.

  10. Yeah. Let’s see if the WHORE can dance vertically for once.

    You know, all whores know how to wear slut-shoes and balance on them even while hopped up on meth, so it’ll be harder for her to break a leg. . . unless her partner helps make it happen. You may need another co-voodoo conspirator in this thing.

  11. Tea says:

    I had no idea you could just buy voodoo dolls. I’d say more, but I have to do some shopping now…

  12. Hoody Hoo says:

    He tried to eat a STAPLER? Jack be hard, yo. And they have REEEEALLY loosened up the definition of “star” if that whore counts as one.

  13. Jess says:

    Jack’s expression indicates he’s thinking: “Damn. I haven’t been in this much trouble since I ate cat shit.”

  14. GOODDOG_BADDOG says:

    HHmmm…need to find some of the whore’s hair on ebay to complete the voodoo thing. Find out where she gets her hair done and stake out the place for scraps!

  15. This is more like “Dancing With Attention Whores”.

    Nice voodoo doll. Just remember to have it “sanctified” by a “practitioner”.

  16. #1 I love that your dog looks so ashamed in that picture!

    #2 I need one of those dolls ASAP!

    • Laura says:

      The thing about Jack is he really doesn’t give a shit about his badness. He probably just has gas in that picture.

      Yiou should get one. Everyone should do voodoo.

  17. I would of preferred a chewed stapler to keeping me up ALL FRICKIN’ night as the AntiChrist we call Replacement Dog did.

  18. Jan says:

    Jack is a GOOD boy! I’m sure that stapler deserved everything it got!

    Some airhead was talking on the radio the other day and said that they must have really downgraded the definition of “star,” because since when is GC’s ex a star? I thought of yelling at the radio “Yeah, she’s a whore, not a star!” But the window was rolled down and I had just pulled into a parking lot where there were lots of people around and I get enough funny looks from people thinking I’m crazy, so I kept my mouth shut and thought it real loud.

  19. Sorry about your stapler. Even though it seems that you brought it upon yourself by letting that little bugger live in your house.

  20. Jena says:

    Poor Laura, it’s just not your day!

  21. Jamie says:

    I’ve also never watched “Dancing with the Stars”, but had already decided to tune in this season to catch Nancy Grace doing the Hustle- So I’ll send bad vibes out to the whore for you. :)

  22. If you voodoo Chaz, maybe he/she/it will fall on the !!!Whore!!! and smoosh her into a mass of goo on national TV.
    That’s a circus peanut TiVo moment.

  23. Liz says:

    No, no NO! You do not want that whore to break her leg. George may dump the current whore and run back to her. In his sympathy for her, he could fall more madly in love and never, ever leave her. Then, you’ll have no chance (when the restraining order is lifted, that is).

  24. Jeffro says:

    Nancy Grace? “Chaz” Bono? “Metta World Peace?” Plus the Italian Whore?

    I think I’ll stick to watching Pawn Stars. Chumley makes sense compared to that lineup.

  25. Underground Carpenter says:

    Hi Laura,

    Where’s the gratitude for when Jack kicked Godzilla’s butt? The Japanese should buy you a new stapler.

    Dave

  26. Elphaba says:

    Well, geez, Laura, any self-respecting dog could have mistaken your stapler for an eggplant, so it’s not really Jack’s fault (it’s the cat’s fault…he was framed).

  27. rick says:

    Are you talking about chaz, I don’t know what the fuck I am, Bono?

    Some of your voodoo would be appreciated about now.

  28. ManhattanMaven says:

    DANG…this is just flat out EXCELLENT on SO many levels…LOL!

  29. I’d like to comment on this Cannabis gal whose only claim to fame I’m aware of is that she dated that Oceans Eleven guy, you know, what’s-his-name? Now normally I would say that whores are a good thing. Right? And until that unthinkable day comes when you see me standing in the checkout line at Home Depot with a hammer and a sickle in my cart, consider me all for fee for service transactions. Perhaps my disability has something to do with it but I have always believed the world’s second oldest profession (I think barista is first) to be the most honorable and noble of pursuits. But I must say I’m with you on this one, Laura. In fact, I just sent a scolding hot letter to the producers of the show demanding they rename it something more appropriate like “Hollywood Ho-down”. Sorry to lose my head on this but this kinda stuff really pisses me off! Well, I guess that’s all for now. Best regards — HG

  30. Nicole says:

    Aw… Jack has the best guilty look.

  31. Jerry says:

    I think this is the first season that I have no interest in watching Dancing.

  32. Dannie says:

    first: love Jack. He’s the man.

    second: I love it when a toy says “love it, hate it…..play with it….

    I’m sorry I grew up with all male cousins abounding (you know that pesky only-child syndrome) so I have inappropriate humor/gutter mind.

  33. DearSweetMama says:

    I was so worried about you that I simply couldn’t function and had to take to my bed for a lie-down. I contemplated calling Hoody’s Poor Ol’ Dad and asking him to put out an APB, but the last time I did that to Hoody I got nothing but grief. Glad you are up and about. If the po-lice show up, just direct them to Dunkin Donuts.

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