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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 Dinosaurs not included. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
I am completely addicted to beauty products. And it’s not because I’m one of those girly-girl prissy things either. It must be because I grew up watching TV and being bombarded with commercials that said if you bought the right product your life would be filled with joy and happiness. When I grew up I learned that was a bunch of bullshit- you have to add gin and bacon for that- but I still get sucked in by the hype.
I’m thinking I’m going to start a new series (that I will probably forget about after a week or so) of recommending products that actually work and that I like. I figured if Kim Kardashian can hock diet pills, I can hock beauty products. Wait..what? Anyway, the biggest difference is that I actually use these products, I get no money for recommending them, and I decided to work for a living instead of releasing a sex tape. Damn girl, you nasty.
So the first product I recommend is Bumble and Bumble Quenching Shampoo and Conditioner.
I have thick hair that I blow dry every day. This stuff is da bomb. It’s kind of expensive, but well worth it because you use so little. It’s super rich. After using these products, not only will your hair become more manageable, silky, and smell good, but you’ll notice life is suddenly brighter, you’re happier, you’ll have more confidence, and strangely you’ll enjoy the company of others more. Of course, that is after you add the gin and bacon.
YeP! I use it too and it’s all true, except with mine I add a good Merlot’ and a loaf of hard Italian bread… maybe some extra sharp cheddar…. yep that’ll work
*** Mmm carbs…. ~Laura
That would be so cool if they sent you a case of product for the endorsement….WooHoo! Pay dirt. I love that stuff.
*** I know, right? I won’t hold my breath though. ~Laura
Well That’s The Problem !!!! I use B&B but I was never told about the Gin and Bacon…. I will incorporate that and hope for better times…. Keep you posted!
*** It will change your life. Ha! ~ Laura
I’mown have to give these a try — so far, nothing can control my kinky, frizzy mess. Except when I used to put mayonaisse on it when I was a teenager… but then you crave egg salad all day.
*** I used to use mayo for my hair too. The squirrels all wanted to make dip in my hair though. ~Laura
—Product Advertisement—
I use Irish Spring soap.
For my body and for washing my hair. I just run the bar over my hair, top-sides-back, till I get a good lather, scrub, rinse, I’m done.
And it’s cheap.
—End of Advertisement—
*** Men… Ha! ~Laura
Oooooo….bumble & bumble. I love their surf spray. I have really fine hair, and it makes it so I can just sort of scrunch my hair (so it’s kind of messy-styled) on days where I don’t feel like pulling out the blow-dryer and curling iron.
*** Mine stays in a perpetual messy style. Ha! But seriously, Bumble and Bumble makes the best hair products, Fredric Fekkai does too- and you have to add gin and bacon to his also. ~Laura
“and strangely you’ll enjoy the company of others more. Of course, that is after you add the gin and bacon.”
I was about to say, “you a liar!”
Until I saw the next sentence! LOL
*** Gin makes you a social butterfly, girl! ~ Laura
I’ve never even heard of this line of products. But seeing how I am easily manipulated by anything on the internet (because it is printed… it must be true) and I look for it and most likely buy it.
*** That’s me! ~Laura
Holy shit, that should have said “saw”. Ive had my coffee by now but Im typo-ing all over the place and it looks right!
*shudders* I just saw zonker’s. At least he didn’t mention armpit braiding.
*** Girl, I typo like a mofo in comments all the time, coffee or no coffee. I’ll fix it for ya. ~Laura
Good lord, I hope my wife doesn’t read this or it’s off to the store for some expensive shampoo.
*** HA! Take her, pay for it, and stop yer bitchin’. Ha! ~Laura
I orignally spelled coffee as cooffee! LOL Im just having one of those days. How’s the weather/storm? Your area doing ok?
*** Alive so far…hail, high winds,rain.. the bad drivers are the worse things when there’s even a forecast of bad weather. I’m off the road now- so they can have at it. ~Laura
So I should order a G&B with a side shot of B&B… it has potential! Although at the moment I could skip all the B’s and just stick with the gin. A nice tall one please, don’t bother with the tonic.
*** Mmm and a twist of lime… I want one now. ~Laura
The dinosaurs are awesome, but not even Jesus himself can sell me expensive shampoo during a recession.
Did you get any of the nasty weather last night, or was it mostly west of you? We were okay, but areas not too far from us have casualties.
*** My God woman! How are we to get out of this recession if we don’t spend money on shit we don’t need! HAHA! Fuck the recession, my hair needs did. HAHA!
The weather is hitting us now. God willing it will blow over the building I work in so I won’t have to have it bulldozed over for the hobo fights I’ll be holding here after I win the lottery because now I’m broke, but my hair smells good. ~Laura
LOL….and this is why I have short hair. Enjoy though…I did have thoughts about swiping the dinosaurs to play with in the bathtub but then you’d think I was uber weird.
*** See, this is why I gotta keep my eye on you people. Dino envy is a horrible thing. Oh, and I got all my hair cut off too the first day it was 90 degrees here. ~Laura
Gin and Bacon are also good for bad weather. We have had tornado watches since last night,stay safe.
*** It’s here now, but is supposed to be heading up the coast soon. It’s a bear of a storm. Amazing lightning display. ~Laura
How expensive?
Where are they available?
When you say you only use a little bit….do you mean a quarter size dollup?
These questions and more
please answer
that is all
*** Over $20 a bottle, beauty salons or online, less than a quarter- more like a dime- depends on the lenght of you hair. I have had a bottle last me almost 9 months before. I hope I answered your questions. ~Laura
You’re too funny….”We need to spend our way out of this recession!!” You ever think of running for office? Does this B&B stuff have an expiration date? Doing the math, if you have thick hair and a bottle last you 9 mos it might go bad before I use it up. Or maybe I can will the unused portion to my girls. Just sayin……….
*** Your beneficiary will kill you for it, so be very careful. ~Laura
IF it doesn’t come with the dinosaurs – what do you play with in the shower? WAIT DON’T ANSWER THAT!!! I mean I want dinosaurs to come with it for that kind of money. And do you need the bacon and Gin in the shower, or can you put that in your hair after you towel off?
*** Do not waste the bacon and gin topically. They are for internal use only. Also you must buy the dinosaurs seperately and they love playing in the shower and bathtub! I mean, not that I know…I was told they do…yeah, that’s it. ~Laura
Do they test it on dinosaurs? If so, I’d like to see the lab results … and the lab technicians.
*** HA! IF the dinosaurs had this stuff, they’d never would have become extinct! Of course, we’d have all been eaten or buried beneath dino poo so it’s a good thing they didn’t have it! ~Laura
Dinosaurs not included… aw, sad.
Finally found the dead-hooker Barbies! I sure hope the Postal service doesn’t x-ray packages…
btw… just a warning – my daughters went through a “mad scientist beauty shop and surgery” phase….
*** HA! Excellent! I used to perform lobotomies on mine, that is, after the dinosaurs caught and tortured them. ~laura
Gin and Bacon cure everything but obesity, remember that. I’ve been on the quest for a good conditioner and shampoo, because, I too, have thick hair that’s also dry and I blow-dry anyway. I’ve seen this stuff before, but never really wanted to spend the money. I’m going to have to give it a second look
Ava
*** Bacon and gin actually do help solve obesity! No and low carb! And yes you should try these- like I said- they go a long way, so they’re more cost effective than you think. ~Laura
I’ve been washing my hair with gin and bacon! I’ve got it all wrong! Thank goodness for you Laura! As I’m a “try some new shit for my out of control hair” kinda girl, I’m gonna get me some of that! PS – If you can get it by you, Rehorst Gin is the BEST!
*** I loves me some gin and I am glad to help you out with your hair. I’m not a hair scientist in real life, but I do play one on the Interent. ~Laura
Please can I come and live in your house the UK is obsessed with the royal wedding and I want to be a place where people are more interested in bacon & gin. Thought now Kate Middleton Queen to be will be wearing those products on her head and it will all go wrong. Lowering the tone is my speciality. Though I have a glamorous life you know. My preparation for the royal wedding I have blogged today and I think it’s fair to say there will be a fair degree of jealousy. NO you cannot have my life.
*** Oooo but I’d love to visit Scotland! C’mon over and we’ll eat some bacon sandwiches and talk about Kate’s clothes or hair and drown our jealousy in some gin and tonics! ~Laura
Hmmm. I grew up watching tv infomercials that promised a better life too, but I end up with a load of pocketknives, the Yoshi blade, super special spatulas and other junk. In this case, Crown Royal and bacon make things better.
*** HA! I also love kitchen gadgets! ~Laura
Hold on . . . gotta wipe the bacon grease off of my fingers. There we are! I love B&B products. Or, I did a decade ago when I still had time for grooming.
*** I love ‘em! And bacon.. ~Laura
[...] exclaiming about how absolutely awesome Bumble & Bumble hair products are. She was practically swooning, people. And as women are wont to do, when one recommends a product, that means you are in dire [...]
Oooo I love Bumble and Bumble shampoo!
*** It’s good stuff. ~Laura
I want the dinosaurs! Oh, and the gin and bacon!
*** Ha! Then you should get them! ~Laura
Do you clean up your dead hookers with this as well?
*** Nah, they’re gonna get dirty anyway. Not wasting good product.~Laura
YeP! I use it too and it’s all true, except with mine I add a good Merlot’ and a loaf of hard Italian bread… maybe some extra sharp cheddar…. yep that’ll work
*** Mmm carbs…. ~Laura
That would be so cool if they sent you a case of product for the endorsement….WooHoo! Pay dirt. I love that stuff.
*** I know, right? I won’t hold my breath though. ~Laura
Does it work on bald heads? ya know.. soft shinny.. smells good?
*** The gin might. Or the bacon grease. Cool it first though. ~Laura
Where do you get it? I’ve never seen it before….
*** IHair salons, online, and I’ve seen some Bumble and Bumble in Target before. ~Laura
Well That’s The Problem !!!! I use B&B but I was never told about the Gin and Bacon…. I will incorporate that and hope for better times…. Keep you posted!
*** It will change your life. Ha! ~ Laura
I’mown have to give these a try — so far, nothing can control my kinky, frizzy mess. Except when I used to put mayonaisse on it when I was a teenager… but then you crave egg salad all day.
*** I used to use mayo for my hair too. The squirrels all wanted to make dip in my hair though. ~Laura
—Product Advertisement—
I use Irish Spring soap.
For my body and for washing my hair. I just run the bar over my hair, top-sides-back, till I get a good lather, scrub, rinse, I’m done.
And it’s cheap.
—End of Advertisement—
*** Men… Ha! ~Laura
Do they come in shampoo, gin and bacon multipacks?
*** I WISH! ~ Laura
Oooooo….bumble & bumble. I love their surf spray. I have really fine hair, and it makes it so I can just sort of scrunch my hair (so it’s kind of messy-styled) on days where I don’t feel like pulling out the blow-dryer and curling iron.
*** Mine stays in a perpetual messy style. Ha! But seriously, Bumble and Bumble makes the best hair products, Fredric Fekkai does too- and you have to add gin and bacon to his also. ~Laura
“and strangely you’ll enjoy the company of others more. Of course, that is after you add the gin and bacon.”
I was about to say, “you a liar!”
Until I saw the next sentence! LOL
*** Gin makes you a social butterfly, girl! ~ Laura
Can’t have too much gin or bacon, and I do loves me some silk.
*** My freezer is filled with both. Ha! ~Laura
I’ve never even heard of this line of products. But seeing how I am easily manipulated by anything on the internet (because it is printed… it must be true) and I look for it and most likely buy it.
*** That’s me! ~Laura
Holy crap! I love that stuff! Since I started using it, my back hair has never been silkier or more lustrous.
*** HA! Then do you braid it? ~Laura
Holy shit, that should have said “saw”. Ive had my coffee by now but Im typo-ing all over the place and it looks right!
*shudders* I just saw zonker’s. At least he didn’t mention armpit braiding.
*** Girl, I typo like a mofo in comments all the time, coffee or no coffee. I’ll fix it for ya. ~Laura
Good lord, I hope my wife doesn’t read this or it’s off to the store for some expensive shampoo.
*** HA! Take her, pay for it, and stop yer bitchin’. Ha! ~Laura
I orignally spelled coffee as cooffee! LOL Im just having one of those days. How’s the weather/storm? Your area doing ok?
*** Alive so far…hail, high winds,rain.. the bad drivers are the worse things when there’s even a forecast of bad weather. I’m off the road now- so they can have at it. ~Laura
So I should order a G&B with a side shot of B&B… it has potential! Although at the moment I could skip all the B’s and just stick with the gin. A nice tall one please, don’t bother with the tonic.
*** Mmm and a twist of lime… I want one now. ~Laura
The dinosaurs are awesome, but not even Jesus himself can sell me expensive shampoo during a recession.
Did you get any of the nasty weather last night, or was it mostly west of you? We were okay, but areas not too far from us have casualties.
*** My God woman! How are we to get out of this recession if we don’t spend money on shit we don’t need! HAHA! Fuck the recession, my hair needs did. HAHA!
The weather is hitting us now. God willing it will blow over the building I work in so I won’t have to have it bulldozed over for the hobo fights I’ll be holding here after I win the lottery because now I’m broke, but my hair smells good. ~Laura
LOL….and this is why I have short hair. Enjoy though…I did have thoughts about swiping the dinosaurs to play with in the bathtub but then you’d think I was uber weird.
*** See, this is why I gotta keep my eye on you people. Dino envy is a horrible thing. Oh, and I got all my hair cut off too the first day it was 90 degrees here. ~Laura
Gin and Bacon are also good for bad weather. We have had tornado watches since last night,stay safe.
*** It’s here now, but is supposed to be heading up the coast soon. It’s a bear of a storm. Amazing lightning display. ~Laura
If I understand this right, I wash my hair with B&B and then my body with gin and bacon?
*** Yes. HA! ~Laura
How expensive?
Where are they available?
When you say you only use a little bit….do you mean a quarter size dollup?
These questions and more
please answer
that is all
*** Over $20 a bottle, beauty salons or online, less than a quarter- more like a dime- depends on the lenght of you hair. I have had a bottle last me almost 9 months before. I hope I answered your questions. ~Laura
You’re too funny….”We need to spend our way out of this recession!!” You ever think of running for office? Does this B&B stuff have an expiration date? Doing the math, if you have thick hair and a bottle last you 9 mos it might go bad before I use it up. Or maybe I can will the unused portion to my girls. Just sayin……….
*** Your beneficiary will kill you for it, so be very careful. ~Laura
IF it doesn’t come with the dinosaurs – what do you play with in the shower? WAIT DON’T ANSWER THAT!!! I mean I want dinosaurs to come with it for that kind of money. And do you need the bacon and Gin in the shower, or can you put that in your hair after you towel off?
*** Do not waste the bacon and gin topically. They are for internal use only. Also you must buy the dinosaurs seperately and they love playing in the shower and bathtub! I mean, not that I know…I was told they do…yeah, that’s it. ~Laura
Do they test it on dinosaurs? If so, I’d like to see the lab results … and the lab technicians.
*** HA! IF the dinosaurs had this stuff, they’d never would have become extinct! Of course, we’d have all been eaten or buried beneath dino poo so it’s a good thing they didn’t have it! ~Laura
I want those dinosaurs!!
*** Amazon!! Papo Dinosaurs. ~Laura
Thanks for the shampoo recommendation. I recommend Hendricks gin. It’s the shizznit.
*** For realzz. I love recommendations. ~Laura
Dinosaurs not included… aw, sad.
Finally found the dead-hooker Barbies! I sure hope the Postal service doesn’t x-ray packages…
btw… just a warning – my daughters went through a “mad scientist beauty shop and surgery” phase….
*** HA! Excellent! I used to perform lobotomies on mine, that is, after the dinosaurs caught and tortured them. ~laura
Gin and Bacon cure everything but obesity, remember that. I’ve been on the quest for a good conditioner and shampoo, because, I too, have thick hair that’s also dry and I blow-dry anyway. I’ve seen this stuff before, but never really wanted to spend the money. I’m going to have to give it a second look
Ava
*** Bacon and gin actually do help solve obesity! No and low carb! And yes you should try these- like I said- they go a long way, so they’re more cost effective than you think. ~Laura
I’ve been washing my hair with gin and bacon! I’ve got it all wrong! Thank goodness for you Laura! As I’m a “try some new shit for my out of control hair” kinda girl, I’m gonna get me some of that! PS – If you can get it by you, Rehorst Gin is the BEST!
*** I loves me some gin and I am glad to help you out with your hair. I’m not a hair scientist in real life, but I do play one on the Interent. ~Laura
Please can I come and live in your house the UK is obsessed with the royal wedding and I want to be a place where people are more interested in bacon & gin. Thought now Kate Middleton Queen to be will be wearing those products on her head and it will all go wrong. Lowering the tone is my speciality. Though I have a glamorous life you know. My preparation for the royal wedding I have blogged today and I think it’s fair to say there will be a fair degree of jealousy. NO you cannot have my life.
*** Oooo but I’d love to visit Scotland! C’mon over and we’ll eat some bacon sandwiches and talk about Kate’s clothes or hair and drown our jealousy in some gin and tonics! ~Laura
Everybody wants the silky straight hair. Can I give them some of mine? I’m sick of it
*** Nobody likes what they have- hair-wise! ~Laura
Hmmm. I grew up watching tv infomercials that promised a better life too, but I end up with a load of pocketknives, the Yoshi blade, super special spatulas and other junk. In this case, Crown Royal and bacon make things better.
*** HA! I also love kitchen gadgets! ~Laura
Well, the bottles pass the “designed in the pastel 80′s test” of appeal.
*** Ha! ~ Laura
Nothing makes life shiny like a Bombay Sapphire and tonic I always say.
*** You’re very wise. ~Laura
Hold on . . . gotta wipe the bacon grease off of my fingers. There we are! I love B&B products. Or, I did a decade ago when I still had time for grooming.
*** I love ‘em! And bacon.. ~Laura
[...] exclaiming about how absolutely awesome Bumble & Bumble hair products are. She was practically swooning, people. And as women are wont to do, when one recommends a product, that means you are in dire [...]