Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
The other day I was over at Hoodyhoo’s blog and she mentioned something about wanting to give some of the cute ex-Amish-boys-that-aren’t-boys-anymore a Playstation meaning they were totally hot. And I totally agreed. The show we both saw was, True Life: I’m Ex-Amish- The Eternal Rumspringa, where they followed a couple of ex-Amish guys who were deciding whether to stay “English,” i.e. modern world, or go back Amish. I kept my fingers crossed the whole time that they’d stay English because I’m all for hot guys being free and shit. As a matter of fact, I’m thinking there may be a need to start an Amish Underground Railroad and get some of those hot guys off those buggies and into Corvettes or Mustangs or something. To show how much I care about this project I’m even willing to appoint myself Amish Ambassador and would greet each one personally and English them like nobody’s business. I would English them until they couldn’t English anymore. Then I’d wait and English them again. They’d be all “OH GOD I don’t think I can English anymore!” and I’d be all “Shut up and you are going to English some more goddammit!” Wait …what? What the English was I talking about anyway?
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39 Responses to Ambassadors get a limo with a driver and diplomatic immunity as part of the deal. I have two words to say about that- HELL. YEAH.
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And then you’d get them all excited and totally throw them over for The George, so they would get to experience heartbreak at it’s finest as well.
Nice going, heartbreaker. I’ll bet they’re going back to the farm now.
*** HA! You’re probably right! What do I mean, probably- Hell yeahs. ~Laura
I saw that show too! They were hot. I’ll work on your Underground Railroad too and help you English them. LOL!
*** Do you have a PhD in English like I do? HA! ~Laura
I have seen that before. they get WILD! I certinaly would love to be around for some of that as well!
*** Yes, ENGLISH them! ~Laura
lol Not even the Amish are safe from you!
*** Oh, I wouldn’t hurt them. Much. ~Laura
J sure is a patient man.
*** If by “patient” you mean “Nazi” then yes, yes he is. Ha! ~Laura
LOL! So you’re adding the cute Amish to your imaginary boyfriend list?
*** Yes. ~Laura
So, “Playstation” is code now? LOL!
*** Yes! That was Hoodyhoo’s code,and it is very fitting isn’t it? Ha! ~Laura
Now, there are a LOT of these poor unfortunate young men out there in need of assistance… so you should definitely appoint me as Deputy Minister of English or something so I can help with your mission! And those boys thought they worked hard on the farm!
*** HAHA! I know right?! They’d be all “English is hard!” And we’ll be all “Yes, English is best hard.” Ha! ~Laura
Could this be a group English tutoring because I would volunteer. At sometime you will need a break and get some water.
*** YES! And later we will all become Ambassadors of English and travel the world! So, you’re in? ~Laura
LMAO! What the hell does say when he reads this stuff?
*** He rolls his eyes and shakes his head at all my blog shenanigans. ~Laura
Once the word of the Amish Underground Railroad gets out, you’re going to be very busy. Make sure their papers are in order, cause you’re to get a lot of non-Amish passengers.
*** HAHA! We will check their their buggy licenses just to be safe. ~Laura
This post is disturbing on multiple levels. Don’t choke on a button as you bite it off…
*** Ha! And since when was this blog NOT disturbing on muliple levels? ~Laura
Do they leave those”Hat’s” on while they are being “English” cuz I dont like those hat’s. I think the braids are attached to the hats and not their heads. they look all wonky. Oh hell! I’ll just close my eyes. Count me in!
*** Hmm I never saw any Amish men with braids. Are you thinking about Hasidic Jews and their curls perhaps? So you’re in for a World English Tour too? Ha! ~Laura
Larry got it right! ha!
*** I know, right? So I’ll need Assistant English Ambassadors in case I’m unable to fulfill my duties. You in? ~Laura
But think about it…. it would get George’s attention! Especially if you pick up an Amish only type uncurable disease cos it would get you on the news on both your humanitarian shit and illness… yeah! That’s the ticket! HA!
*** HAHA! Amish VD? Damn, I don’t even want to know where that originated from. ~Laura
I only know Engrish…
*** Is that something kinky, cause I don’t even want to know.. Ha! ~Laura
I saw those Amish boys and I want to be an Amish Ambassador English Assistant!
*** Okay, you’re in. ~Laura
Sounds more like Guantanamo Bay for the Amish.
I can teach them Spanish and some French. Can I be an assistant?
*** HAHA! Certainly! ~Laura
I don’t know about being an English Ambassador, but since ‘English is hard’, and I’m already a Deputy Assistant Stick Scientist, I’ll be SURE to help in whatever capacity I’m needed. In other words, count me in.
*** HAHAHA! You’re in! ~Laura
I want in too! LOL! I know English!
*** Then you’re in! ~Laura
Amish gone Wild!! We could record it, make money off of it, buy a house in California and the Outer Banks! Oh, and the more good works you do, the more George would notice you so George would come running (let’s not truly go there), and you could really English him!!
I’ll pick out the ones with the really good butt and we could set up that underground railroad.
*** HAHA! You get the caboose. Ha! ~Laura
But, remember, you have to press 2 for English….
*** HAHAHA! That will be part of their English lesson, where to press. Wait…what? ~Laura
You show one of those Amish boys your iPhone and he’s on the road to hell.
*** HA! Indeed he would be! ~Laura
“So I’ll need Assistant English Ambassadors in case I’m unable to fulfill my duties. You in?”
I can only speaka Engrish, so I can be the first person they meet so I can warn them how dangero.. I mean buffer to proper English, umm, yea!
*** Is that something kinky, cause I don’t even want to know.. Ha! ~Laura
HAHA! Not…
*** Ha! Now we have so many comments within a comment we just might have knocked the Earth off it’s axis!! ~Laura
“But, remember, you have to press 2 for English….
*** HAHAHA! That will be part of their English lesson, where to press. Wait…what? ~Laura
Posted by: Nancy in Iowa”
omg… that was epic
*** There you go again, knocking the Earth off it’s axis again! ~Laura
Wait a minute. So now you’re gonna be a ninja assassin librarian Queen Ambassador English teacher? Dayum. Quite a resume you’ve got there.
*** A jack of all trades AND a master of them ALL. ~Laura
I’d volunteer as well, but it’s been a hella long time since I spoke English. I probably would verb all the wrong nouns and then let loose with a lot of interjections.
*** HAHA! They may like that. ~Laura
I’ll run the railroad for you since you’ll be busy Ambassadoring!
*** Yes, I’ll need help there won’t I? Ha! ~Laura
Yep, Im naturally off kilter. And that will keep the Amish guys off balance and more easily controlled.. I mean abducted… shit. Used and abused.
*** Ha! No no…Englished and happy. ~Laura
Hey, I think I want in on that! I speak English English, Canadian English, Southern English, Northern English, Pirate English, Australian English, American English, and Pig Latin. Ignsay Emay UpYAY!
*** You are definitely in. Ha! ~Laura
English?
Don’t forget to chalk their cues.
After all, they grew up on the farm.
*** Ha! Wait..what? ~Laura
How I avoided a murder conviction today:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqNTfnhs-G0
(Seriously the frustration was so bad today, I’m practically in tears.)
*** OH NOES! I hope you are feeling better. Srsly. I hate feeling that way. I can see how that video saved you- doxie puppies are so fucking cute. ~Laura
You know, I just can’t get over the whole “Laura as an English teacher” thing. I bet J never imagined such an outcome when he recommended that book on proper grammar.
*** HAHA! I bet he didn’t either! ~Laura
So what can I do to help?
That video was too cute!
*** You can go pick up some good looking Amish menz. Ha! ~Laura
The Canine Commandments link seriously needs a tissue warning.
*** I know, Sorry. ~Laura
I laughed until I peed. Again. Man, that’s Englished up!
*** HA! It is ain’t it? Ha! ~Laura
We’ve got Russian Mennonites around here. Some of those wimmen is hot, I’m here to tell ya!
Of course this does nothing for you in your efforts to help young Amish boys.
*** HA! Maybe you should become a Mennonite Ambassador. ~Laura
You gonna teach the ALL the parts of speech? Cuz the English language has some peculiar ejaculations. . .
*** That’s the reason for all the Englishing, the final chapter, ejaculations even peculiar ones..wait…what? ~Laura
I can’t believe I missed that show.