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It’s like the time the Yankees plundered my plantation and I had to make a dress out of curtains and I swore I’d never be hungry again. That really happened and I don’t give a damn if you don’t believe me. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I have to finish wrapping Christmas gifts, which basically means I am placing liquor bottles in gift bags, but I wanted to post this video that Jan at Cascade Exposures sent me Monday. I played it at work and immediately fell unconscious from the sheer super-sonic sweetness of it. I think it was a diabetic coma, but it may have been jet lag from traveling to and from The Island of Unwanted Stocking Stuffers, which means a hangover, but jet lag sounds classier. Anyway, it’s been a good day. Besides getting a baby goat video, I was able to get reservations at Paula Deen’s restaurant in Savannah Georgia next week because I’m very important, which really means I just called and asked nicely and joked around with the reservation person. Two weeks after Savannah, we’re off to Cape Fear North Carolina for a few days because, well it’s Cape Fear and I always wanted to say “Oh, I remember the time I was in Cape Fear and that guy with all the tattoos I sent to prison years earlier tried to kill me.” And when they say “No, Laura that was a movie.” I’ll say “No, I WAS in Cape Fear, motherfucker, and stop interrupting me.” Anyway, here’s something so adorable the only way you wouldn’t find this adorable would be if you were that crazy psycho sonsabitch with all the tattoos who I sent to prison years ago or a Yankee:


 




39 Comments
 

39 Responses to It’s like the time the Yankees plundered my plantation and I had to make a dress out of curtains and I swore I’d never be hungry again. That really happened and I don’t give a damn if you don’t believe me.

  1. Holly says:

    Aww that is just precious! Who knew goats were 1/3 made of springs :)
    *** I KNOW! I want to hug them all and kiss them on top of their heads. ~Laura

  2. Jennifer says:

    OMG! I love those baby goats!
    *** They are adorable. ~Laura

  3. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    This reminds me of the time I was a janitor in that big college and I used to solve the math problems on the chalkboard.
    *** HAHAHA! YES! I remember when you used to do that. ~Laura

  4. Heather says:

    Cutest baby goats EVER! No wonder you want one!
    *** Or two. ~Laura

  5. SCBinny says:

    OMG, I want some goats after seeing that, they’re just too cute!! We could name them Nanny, Granny and Rudolph!
    *** Mine will be named George and Hershal and Binky. Don’t ask. ~Laura

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    I’m a Yankee who likes to grill goats (with lemon, rosemary and lots of salt).
    Does this make me a bad person?
    *** THAT makes you a sonsabitch. HA! ~Laura

  7. The Nickster says:

    Baby goats on crack. Nice.
    *** The cutest crackheads evah! ~Laura

  8. Mr. Bingley says:

    Whew, I was worried there for a second.
    *** HA! As well you should be. FOR YOUR SOUL! ~Laura

  9. Red December... says:

    Excellent goat footage! but the side bar “I just had Sex” and the “voice overs on the animals” most excellent. LMAO. Hysterical. I am gonna be singing “I just had sex” all day.. no one will believe me but !!!!
    *** I thought it was funny, the sidebar, not you saying you just had sex. ~Laura

  10. Michelle says:

    Well, that was damn cute! Thanks!
    Baby goats are cute. Grown goats, not so much. Grown goats aren’t as bouncy.
    *** Grown pygmy goats are cute. ~Laura

  11. That goat video is like reading this blog: lots of silliness and joy and jumping and head-butting, minus the dinosaurs.
    That one goat that butted the other one off the roof? It just knew she was gonna grow up to be WHORE, so she started taking out the competition early.
    *** HAHA! I love that you compared my blog to the baby goats, even though someone just thought the goats were on crack. And I love that you could instantly identify a WHORE goat. ~Laura

  12. Oh, and DAMN YANKEES!
    *** SONSABITCHES!! ~Laura

  13. MorningGlory says:

    Only a heartless Nazi could watch that video and not immediately run out to acquire a baby goat. Just sayin’.
    BTW, I live about a mile from the Cape Fear River in NC. Not to say I live on Cape Fear, but if you go upriver past Raleigh you’ll be very close. Just sayin’.
    *** Do tattooed ex-cons try to murder you? And yes, everytime I see a vid of a baby goat I want one or two so bad. ~Laura

  14. Larry says:

    Prison psychos and Yankees, OK, but what about nazis? Does J like this video?
    My dog jumps just like these goats when he thinks you should be doing something important, like taking him outside for the third time in fifteen minutes. Not that he has to go outside for anything, mind you, he just likes being outside.
    *** J actually thought they were very cute, but pointed out all the poo on the ground. Ha! My dog’s legs are too short to jump that well. ~Laura

  15. patti says:

    OMG! I needed that – I need some of your Island of Misfit Stocking Stuffers loot too. Can I shove my kids in a oil drum and swap them for some of those kids up there?
    Well, maybe if I hit the play button on that every 30 min or so I will not be in Cape Fear after I kill one of them -
    So, when you see one person in NC hit that fid 47,839 times, you know it was me and you saved my Christmas and the lives of AT LEAST two TarHeel girls.
    *** I’ll be a freakin’ hero. You need to get some goats. ~Laura

  16. CGHill says:

    It’s important to go to places like Cape Fear, because sooner or later you’re going to play out this scenario:
    Babbling Acquaintance: “Oh, have you ever been to Cape Fear?”
    Laura, eyes narrowing, in a low voice: “Who wants to know?”
    All kinds of possibilities from that point.
    *** HAHA! You are a genius! Then at what point do I plunge a knife into him and my sleeve rides up to reveal a full arm sleeve tatt of Bible verses? ~Laura

  17. hotpants™ says:

    I saw Cape Fear not too long ago. Even after all these years, that movie is still creepy as shit.
    *** Dude was freaky as hell. ~Laura

  18. Karen G. says:

    You make my morning every day! Thank you for the goats!
    *** You’re welcome and thank Jan for the video. ~Laura

  19. Curtal Friar says:

    Hmm…You said: “Besides getting a baby goat video, I was able to get reservations at Paula Deen’s restaurant in Savannah Georgia next week…”
    Um, this almost sounds like you went to Paula Deen’s to eat some kind of goat dish, and the video was for the purpose of getting you stoked up to eat some good goat.
    Maybe I’m reading too much between the lines.
    In any case, I’ve had Jamaican curried goat, and man, was it tasty. Almost worth going back to the island just to get a second helping.
    *** NOOOOO! Do not eat goats!!!! NO NO NO. ~Laura

  20. rdennis says:

    Wife and I watched this together. Made her laff out loud. We used to have a goat when the boys were small. He was a real pain, but funny to watch. We do have “Speed Goats” you know. Pronghorns. Very cute. Very fast. Like the Roadrunner, but much cooler. They hate Nazi’s. And are delicious.
    *** As long as you didn’t eat a baby goat. ~Laura

  21. Brea says:

    urrrrgggghhh…*drooling, eyes vacant from all the cute*
    OH MAH GAWD.
    Merry Goatmas!
    *** Aren’ t they just the definition of adorable? Yes, they are. ~Laura

  22. Jan says:

    Y’all are welcome for the video — I knew exactly where it would be most appreciated!
    I think that I’ve OD’d on it, only instead of getting a hangover, I have the giggles and an intense craving Christmas cookies. (And a few shots of unwanted stocking stuffer wouldn’t hurt either…)
    *** Ooooooh cookies…. ~Laura

  23. Well, I do NOT eat goat, and I think these are adorable while kids.
    Grown up goats look a bit evul, though. It’s the pupils.
    My inlaws and my folks are coming here at the same time. I want to escape to the Island of Unwanted Stocking Stuffers now.
    *** Just close your eyes and click your heels and say “There’s no place like being plastered for the holidays.” Oh and it helps if you’re in a liquor store with your debit card when you do these things. ~Laura

  24. Erik says:

    Can’t see video from my work computer. Work computer Nazis won’t let me see my gmail account either. Bastardos!
    But reading from the comments – baby goats. I will have to check this out when I get home and get a free minute.
    *** And show your daughter. Lots of frolicking baby goats! ~Laura

  25. SCGramma says:

    OK Im headed for the nearest liquor store to click my heals…..oh wait..can I borrow your debit card? the strip is worn off mine….
    *** No. Nice try though. ~Laura

  26. Jena says:

    Sean was trying to get me to send you that video. I said NO. I KNEW someone had already sent it! ha! The black one with it’s lil tocks as it was trying to get in the tub was TEH AWESOME!
    *** They are all so cute I want to squeeze them. ~Laura

  27. Jen says:

    I LOVE baby goats. I love the way they just suddenly spaz out and crack heads and jump a million feet in the air. They are so goofy. I’ll take 10, please. Bill, my cat, will just have to learn to adjust.
    *** I would give anything to live on a few acres and have a few goats and play with them all day. Srsly. ~Laura

  28. patti says:

    “”** Just close your eyes and click your heels and say “There’s no place like being plastered for the holidays.” Oh and it helps if you’re in a liquor store with your debit card when you do these things. ~Laura”"
    Classic – now will be part of my favorite quotes of all time.
    *** You’re welcome. ~Laura

  29. lifeshighwy says:

    I sent this link out instead of Christmas cards.
    Thanks for reducing my work load and the stamps!
    *** You’re welcome. Ha! ~Laura

  30. Cappagam says:

    “PAULA DEAN”!!! WHAT? THERE IS A TWO YEAR WAITING LIST. HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT??? YOU MUST BE REALLY COOL OR IMPORTANT OR SOMETHING!OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! IF I move to SC can I hang with you? Pleeeeezzzze (yes I’m begging)
    *** I am all of the above. No autographs please. ~Laura

  31. Nicole says:

    Stuff yourself at Paula Dean’s. And keep an eye out for those Bible tats.
    *** Girl, I am always have an eye out for Bible tatts. ~Laura

  32. B-Love says:

    Cappagam, you can’t hang out with her cuz I’m gonna move to SC to hang out with her! She goes to all the cool places, Outer Banks, Paula Dean’s and Cape Fear to find the tattooed criminals! AND she likes goats!
    *** And badgers. ~Laura

  33. Nancy in Iowa says:

    I told my daughter to read your blog, but now that you brag about getting a res at Paula Dean’s I’m going to have to warn her NOT to read it anymore!! She lives outside Savannah and said it’s impossible to get into the restaurant. If she reads about your feat, she’ll abandon her baby and husband and crawl into a cave.
    Just sayin’.
    *** That’s what everyone told me but I swear to God, I called them, joked around a bit and got a reservation for next week for the day and time I wanted. I should rent my reservation ability out. I have always been able to talk my way into anywhere. Srsly. I used to get back stage to concerts all the time, stuff like that. ~Laura

  34. Jeffro says:

    You should get “LOVE” and “HATE” tattooed on your knuckles before you go to Cape Fear. Yeah, different movie, but woo hoo – think of the creepy factor!
    *** Ha! Lots of creep factor. ~Laura

  35. Sierra says:

    I would really like to know how you pulled that off w/Paula Dean. and don’t give me any crap about you “I called them, joked around a bit and got a reservation for next week for the day and time I wanted.” Who do you know up there? Why am I asking? It’s probably Paula Dean right? like is she related to you or something? com’on give us the scoop! can you get us reservations?
    *** Ha! I told you exactly how. ~Laura

  36. Jan says:

    And then there’s baby red pandas…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYj17t1aPbo
    *** OH MY GOD. I want. ~Laura

  37. mel says:

    I am just jealous as hell that you’re going to eat at Paula Deen’s restaurant.
    *** EVERYONE has asked me how I did it. All I can say is ask nicely and joke around. I am pretty sure too that luck had a big part in it. ~Laura

  38. Erik says:

    My daughter and I watched the video. We laughed. We watched it again. She aksed if there were more baby goat videos. I told her that there were not.
    Just so you know.
    *** OH there are lots of goat videos! I will have to post more for her! I picture you covering up the rest of my site with your hands as she’s watching! LOL Or yes, of course double clicking right into youtube. ~Laura

  39. mel says:

    OMG LAURA! You gotta see this :)
    http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/2010/12/goat-thing-of-the-day-twilight-goat-and-a-goat-giveaway.html
    *** I would not give the goat away if I had won it. ~Laura

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