Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 164

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 167

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 170

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 173

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 176

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 178

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 180

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 202

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 206

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 214

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 215

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 217

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49
Here’s another Friday List on a Monday because I stayed out on the Island of Unwanted Stocking Stuffers helping the dinosaurs with their inventory last night. It is the end of the year, you know. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Friday List of Crap on a Monday List


1. I am completely finished with my Christmas shopping. As previously stated, I shopped the Internet and the liquor store. I should be a professional shopper. Fact.


2. Now that they aren’t in style anymore, I ordered myself a pair of Uggs for Christmas. This is them:



Ugg


3. In order to have enough money for my Uggs I waxed my own eyebrows this week. The good news is I saved $30.00 that went towards my boots. The bad news is for the next week or so I will constantly look surprised.


4. “She became increasingly obsessed with rattlesnakes and started secretly housing them at her home. Her overwhelming passion for reptiles was becoming her sole purpose in life.”



Animal Planet’s “Fatal Attractions may be the most quotable show on television.


5. I knew if I was on the Internet long enough that one day one of you sonsabitches would send me a picture of your wiener:



Yabu Card


Thank you, Yabu.


6. I only have to work three days this week and then I am going out of town. If you don’t see me for a few days on here don’t worry, it’s not the rabies. Unless, of course, it is.

35 Comments
 

35 Responses to Here’s another Friday List on a Monday because I stayed out on the Island of Unwanted Stocking Stuffers helping the dinosaurs with their inventory last night. It is the end of the year, you know.

  1. Princess says:

    Do yourself a huge favor. Go to Walmart, in the sports section, get yourself a can of “Camp Dry” and spray your boots to waterproof and stain proof them. they will turn a little darker then they are but it is soooooooooooooo worth it. double spray the seams….. Unless of course your not going to wear them out side.. HA!
    *** I ordered a can with the boots. ~Laura

  2. December Bride says:

    Doggie Porn….. with my coffee. Oh Joy! Thanks Yabu.

  3. Tad says:

    Glad youre only working three days….You do work? don’t you? Just sayin! But I hope you have a great and wonderful holiday. I for one will be looking forward to pictures of your yearly “HAUL”. Please Tell “J” Happy Christmas and Jack, Thelma and “The Bird” oh yeah! and Tinks too! We will miss U!
    *** The bird’s name is Herman. ~Laura

  4. Michelle says:

    Enjoy your short work week and your time out of town. My vacation started last Friday at 5. So far it has been fun.
    Oh yeah, and thanks for the wiener shot. Made my day!
    Hope your rabies stays away during the holidays. Maybe rabies take vacations too!
    *** Thanks! And you have a great holiday! ~Laura

  5. SCBinny says:

    Oh, what a good looking weiner! I should send you a picture of mine, truly a fine specimen of wienerhood. Love the boots, can’t wait to see exactly how you use those, maybe stomp a Nazi! and finally…You’re going out of town without me????
    *** Isn’t that the longest weiner you ever saw? Yes, I will be with the Nazi. ~Laura

  6. Jennifer says:

    I love those Uggs! I want a pair.
    *** Stop having someone else wax your brows and get a pair. ~Laura

  7. MokoPoko says:

    Nice boots! what size? can I borrow? Please just put them in my stocking…. with the booze and ass.
    *** Nope. ~Laura

  8. hoodyhoo says:

    Best. Christmas Card. EVER. And here I thought gratuitous dog-porn was strictly for Easter…
    *** Me too! Yes, it is a fantastic card, you can’t beat a weiner for Christmas…I mean, you can… oh, nevermind. ~Laura

  9. cbullitt says:

    Glad to see you keeping the dinosaurs occupied. Hopefully they didn’t see that idiocy I posted about hadrosaur shit causing global warming. Who knowS what they’d do to your kitchen, if they find out.
    ** I KNOW! I don’t need to be cleaning up after a bunch of drunk dinosaurs. ~Laura

  10. Lucky girl! Yabu doesn’t show his wiener to just anyone!
    *** But that’s a fine looking weiner! ~Laura

  11. Jena says:

    The weiner looks a little ashamed that someone keeps trotting his weiner out on special occasions!
    Nice uggs and let us know how they feel!
    Hope y’all have an awesome vacation! I know the dinos didn’t ransack all those stocking stuffers! Ha!
    *** Not all, but they put a dent in them. Ha! ~Laura

  12. CGHill says:

    Damn, that wiener is nearly half as tall as he is.
    *** Yes, he has a very long weiner indeed. ~Laura

  13. Curtal Friar says:

    Hope with all your Christmas shopping that you bought some holiday cheer for yourself as well.
    Lot of great Sales out there this time of year.
    *** Well, the boots and I was looking at some Ka-bars and gun cleaning kits. Ha! For reals. ~Laura

  14. I hope you have a lovely holiday, and that the dinos are kept corralled somewhere away from the goat.
    Uh, nice wiener, Yabu….
    *** Ha! If only I had my goat…. ~Laura

  15. Erik says:

    I always do my own eyebrows, but that usually consists of shaving them down when I start to look like Stalin. And good for you for savin’ 30 bucks!
    Christmas shopping done and in the mail, unless I forgot someone.
    Working all week as normal. Being a contract employee sucks.
    Still writing zombie stuff on the blog. Got a crazy idea that I have to write about.
    Reading the Zombie Survival Guide for inspiration and profit.
    I may have to check out that Fatal Attractions show. Sounds like it would get the same reaction as Hoarders – “Oh no she did nt’!”
    *** Oh I love Hoarders! Such crazy. You should work on a zombie book. I will be over there as soon as I get off work. It’s hell tryin to read on the iPhone. ~Laura

  16. LeeAnn says:

    I told someone at work yesterday that I had brain rabies. So they avoided me the rest of the night. I love when a plan works out.
    And if you had a goat, when J wanted to make his point in an area of contention with you, he could hide it in his car and announce “I bet I really get your goat, don’t I?”
    Ha! Tell J I won’t charge him for that (much) if he wants to use it.
    *** Ha! I will tell him. And can you imagine what damage a goat would do inside a car? ~Laura

  17. Elphaba says:

    Alas, I do not have a wiener. Not even a miniature one. It is a situation that will one day be remedied. But I do have plenty of pussy. 6 pussies, to be exact; and one of them is constantly gacking up around the house. Not only would I send you her picture, I would send you the whole cat, plus throw 5 more in for good measure. =D I’m generous like that.
    May your Christmas be merry, and your rabies be dormant for the holiday season, Laura!
    *** Thank you! And you should get a weiner. Everyone should have a weiner. You have a Great Christmas! ~Laura

  18. SB Smith says:

    Then I will wish you a safe trip there and back now. I hope you have a wonderful holiday !
    Do you board Jack, or have a doggie sitter ?
    I’m a kitty sitter for some friends of ours. I enjoy it.
    If you’re flying, you know we’ll expect to hear if you were irradiated, or groped at the airport. :-D
    *** Jack usually boards, but will probably be going with me. I hope you have a great holiday! ~Laura

  19. hotpants™ says:

    I did 80% of my shopping online. I made quick runs to Target, Borders and Walgreens for the rest.
    *** I love Target, but not during the holidays. ~Laura

  20. garnet says:

    I want those boots!
    *** Get yourself a pair! ~Laura

  21. Scbinny says:

    I have five weiners of my own. Maybe I should stand them all up on top of each other and show everyone how great my weiners are!
    That being said, I want the boots but I bet they’re too small for me since you’re sooooooooooooo much younger!
    *** I am very young! Ha! ~Laura

  22. Teresa says:

    I just bought a pair when I was last in Boston. The boots I was wearing were hurting my feet badly and I needed something I knew would be instantly comfortable. So I bought some UGGs even though I still think they are ugly. LOL.
    Damn I keep forgetting to spray them though – it’s been so dry here. I shall do that today.
    Have a great time wherever you’re going.
    *** Thanks. And do you like your Uggs? ~Laura

  23. Teresa says:

    Damn! I forgot to add – was just listening to a travel podcast. One of the women was talking about a bus she was on – one of those third world buses that is so dangerous. She got stuck on the roof of the bus and ended up with a small goat in her lap while she rode to her destination. She said – at least the goat kept her warm.
    I thought of you immediately. LOL.
    *** HAHA! I would have loved it. I would have kept the goat. ~Laura

  24. Heather says:

    I love my Uggs. You’re going to enjoy them.
    *** I think so too. ~Laura

  25. Tara says:

    That’s a great weiner card! lol
    *** One of teh best weiner cards in teh history of weiner cards. ~Laura

  26. Me says:

    Oh, that’s something you can tell J…a goat will keep you warm!!
    *** I know right?! Especially with electricity prices going up. ~Laura

  27. Stacy says:

    I’m finished shopping too thank God. And now I want a pair of Ugg boots like that.
    *** You should get a pair. ~Laura

  28. Jade says:

    He’s showing his weiner’s weiner!
    *** OH MY GOD! He is! Ha!~Laura

  29. rdennis says:

    Wieners? That’s no wiener! That’s a Doxie! But the Doxie seems to have a wiener. Happy Holiday and Merry Christmas, young lady. I hope yoiu get a goat with a wiener.
    *** Ha! No, I want a weiner-less goat! Merry Christmas to you! ~Laura

  30. Nicole says:

    Merry Christmas! Hope you and Jack have a great time.
    I love Animal Planet Fatal Attractions. Makes me feel downright genius level smart sometimes in comparison. :)
    *** I KNOW! A lot of those reality shows make me feel like a rocket scientist. And Merry Christmas to you! ~Laura

  31. weiner-less says:

    I have faux Uggs. (air-walks) but I gotta tell ya they are the most awesomest boots in the world. I can not afford real Uggs.. or vacations every other week…. or my own wiener. but I am lovin this cold weather here in SC. how bout U?
    *** I LURVE cold weather in South Carolina more than I lurve Circus peanuts. ~Laura

  32. Larry says:

    My wiener is only half Doxie and the other half is poodle. He’s a doodle. Only a half-wiener, as it were.
    It’s cold in North Carolina, too, and I don’t like it.
    *** Oh how cute– do you have a pic of him? I must go search your site! ~Laura

  33. Glen says:

    Re #4. Look up the lyrics for “Snake Farm”…
    Chorus:
    Snake Farm – it just sounds nasty
    Snake Farm – well it pretty much is
    Snake Farm – it’s a reptile house
    Snake Farm – Uuuggghhhhh……
    *** Ha! It would be nasty. Like motherfucking snakes on a plane! ~Laura

  34. Larry says:

    I only have two pictures of him, I’ll have to put some more up.
    http://lastrefugeofascoundrel.blogspot.com/2009/07/note-to-el-capitan.html
    *** AWWWWW! So cute! Yes, more pics! Laura

  35. mel says:

    I like Yabu’s weiner.
    *** You should tell him. He’d like that I bet. ~Laura

Leave a Reply to Heather Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>