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It’s still 2000 degrees here so I’m inside assembling my Army. Jesus Christ, I don’t even try to appear normal anymore do I? | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Today my new Papo dinosaurs arrived.


Stegosaurus


That’s a Stegosaurus.



Triceratops


And that’s a Triceratops that DID exist. I don’t care what those asshole paleontologists say. They really need to stop dicking around with my childhood.


And because dinosaurs can be petty and jealous, I made sure the others had something special today.



Dinosauer Circus Peanuts


Damn. It really needs to cool down here so I can start going outside again.

23 Comments
 

23 Responses to It’s still 2000 degrees here so I’m inside assembling my Army. Jesus Christ, I don’t even try to appear normal anymore do I?

  1. MorningGlory says:

    You are the coolest person I know, with your dinosaurs and circus peanuts and junk. You’re so cool, I’m surprised you don’t generate your own little “cool pocket” to protect you when you go outside.
    I’m thinking about doing some stuff in my yard today, but maybe you’ve convinced me not to.
    *** I thought about making a bubble, like the bubble boy, and have AC air in it and roll around like a hamster ball. But I think I’d get mighty dizzy. ~Laura

  2. Tink says:

    That Stegosaurus has a very pretty face. I love the Circus Peanuts. That is just too funny. And yeah! I’m with ya on this heat thingy. I have had just about enough but I talked to my brother in law in Florida this morning @ 8:30 and it was 90 there with humidity @ 100%. So we’re not soooooooo bad. But I do agree you need to get out…. Come to my part of the world…..anytime.
    *** Clowns and mimes. ~Laura

  3. SB Smith says:

    I saw dinosaur Christmas tree ornaments at Hobby Lobby and immediately thought of you.
    You probably already have some for your tree, though.
    ***I need more! You can never have too many dinosaurs. ~Laura

  4. LeeAnn says:

    Outside is overrated. It’s full of “those” people. You know who I mean. “Those” people.
    Yeah.
    *** Uggh “Those” people. ~Laura

  5. Michelle says:

    You are so thoughtful. I am sure the circus peanuts made them feel much better about their new house mates.
    It is supposed to be 91 here tomorrow. WTF? I guess it is because summer isn’t officially over until Sept. 23. Oh happy day!
    *** This heat is just crazy and nasty and I want to stab it. ~Laura

  6. kim says:

    “Jesus Christ, I don’t even try to appear normal anymore do I?” <– I love that line.
    Your blog is definitely one of my new favorites, and appearing normal is way overrated. Thanks for both the laughs and the thought provoking posts. :)
    **** Oh, well you’re welcome! And thank you. ~Laura

  7. Jennifer says:

    I LOVE to see your dinosaurs! Is that weird?
    *** Kinda, but that’s okay. ~Laura

  8. cbullitt says:

    Yeah Laura. When I was a kid, Brontosaurus and Trachodon were dinosaurs—I have books. FACT! Then again Pluto was a planet.
    The science people need to use more Sticks!!!
    *** Imma gonna use a stick right upside their heads if they don’t stop. The Triceratops was on backorder because once they said it didn’t exist everyone bought one. Like when the Pope said St. Christopher wasn’t a saint, he showed up on more dashboards after that. I may put my T-Tops on my dashboard. ~Laura

  9. Jennifer says:

    “Kinda, but that’s okay” CRACKED me up! LOL
    *** :P ~Laura

  10. zonker says:

    Woohooooo! Show us your dinosaurs!!!!
    ::throws beads::
    *** Those are more like puppies. ~Laura

  11. Mitchell says:

    Wait, what? Triceratops didn’t exist? What the hell?? There are like, fossils and shit!
    **** I KNOW!! It’s total madness! Total LIES! ~Laura
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1299666/Triceratops-really-existed.html

  12. DogsDontPurr says:

    I know this is off topic, but you’ve totally got to read this article about a restaurant with goats on the roof. It is hilarious. And I thought of you because….well…GOATS!!!
    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704285104575492650336813506.html
    *** OMG I would so eat there! I like Swedish meatballs, so it’s all good. His goats are so cute too!! Everyone should have goats. Just don’t put them on your roof or you’ll get sued. ~Laura

  13. Nicole says:

    Well, the circus peanuts were probably a good pacification choice. If they were still jealous and upset, they’d probably pass out from the sugar before they could do any damage.
    *** Yes, they are like me and get woozy from too many. Quiets them right down. ~Laura

  14. You should write a book about the care and feeding of dinosaurs. I bet people would buy it.
    *** YES! I really should. And about their jealousy and pettiness, and vanity. Yes, they are very vain. Most people don’t know this. ~Laura

  15. zombie mom says:

    Stuck inside with Circus Peanuts and plastic dinasours could be great grounds for your very own “twinkie defense” if you – a) become a serial killer after all, b) get arrested stalking your husband’s (George) best friend Brad, or c) Get framed for some kookie Crazy Betty crime. As always, its moderate here in not so sunny today, but give it a minute, California.
    *** Genius. I just need to hear voices. Oh, I have to go now, my cat wants me to turn the channel on tv. ~Laura

  16. Teresa says:

    Since we’re being off topic and all you should go to Chicago some time and eat at the Billy Goat Tavern.
    http://www.billygoattavern.com/home.html
    Just a thought. If you want to cool off – head on up north. We’re definitely into the fall weather. I even have to wear a coat at night now.
    *** OH MY GOD a coat? I’ve forgotten what one looks like. ~Laura

  17. CGHill says:

    I can’t believe you sacrificed two perfectly good circus peanuts for the sake of a photo.
    Unless you ate them the moment you finished the upload, of course.
    *** I ain’t sayin’. ~Laura

  18. Yabu (EOTIS) says:

    That Stegosaurus and Triceratops did LIVE. The tail and ankle bracelets prove it. They were bad Juju in the past.
    *** Indeed they were. ~Laura

  19. mel says:

    Special is right. It looks like the big one is about to mount the little one. “Oh shit I’m gonna need my ‘hands’ for this, let me stick this circus peanut in my mouth so it doesn’t get dirty on the ground”
    *** Oh muh lawd! Look at you, seeing porn in my dinosaurs! ~Laura

  20. mel says:

    I see porn everywhere.
    *** HAHAHAH! ~Laura

  21. Damn, I didn’t think anyone could upstage your post, until I read mel’s :)
    Oh, and scientists do this crap to get more money. Fuckers…
    *** Yes instead of playing “Wgere’s Waldo” she’s all “Where’s the porn?” Yeah – DAMN THOSE SCIENTISTS! ~Laura

  22. Janet Redmond says:

    I am so jealous of your dinosaurs.
    *** You can get you some and they can have sleep overs. ~Laura

  23. Curtal Friar says:

    There are paleontologists that say triceratops that did not exist?
    I know some fundies say there were no dinosaurs period, but paleontologists??
    *** YES! They say they were just the immature Torosaurus and are not a different species. I SAY THEY LIE!! (collapses into a puddle of my own tears) ~Laura

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