Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
From the monthly archives: July 2010

Sometimes I wonder why I have so few friends until I reflect back on the conversations I’ve had with people. Here’s one I just had yesterday.

By On July 29, 2010 · 46 Comments

Me: “What in the hell do you have on your feet?”



Her: “These are my new shoes! You like them?”


Me: Stares



Her: “My son picked them out for me.”


Me: “Girl, you didn’t tell him that you quit your stripper job?”

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I could think of a witty title but I’m being held captive by the Russian mafia and by “being held captive by the Russian mafia” I mean “laying on my couch watching ‘America’s Got Talent’.”

By On July 28, 2010 · 33 Comments

This comment from Mr. Penis Enlargement was in my spam bucket yesterday:

HELP! I’m currently being held prisoner by the Russian mafia <some big penis site I removed dot com> and being forced to post spam comments on blogs and forum! If you don’t approve this they will kill me. They’re coming back now.  [...]

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I may spontaneously combust while typing this. It’s 1 degrees outside and my AC can’t keep up, so if this ends suddenly you’l

By On July 26, 2010 · 32 Comments

I watched the movie “Hot Tub Time Machine” this past weekend. I was hoping it would be at least a little bit humorous. It wasn’t. I was very disappointed in John Cusack. I may have to knock him off of my Imaginary Boyfriend List for not only starring in this, but also being one of [...]

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The Flip Flop Wars: Part One

By On July 23, 2010 · 25 Comments


 


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