It all started with Sheri Gilmour’s blob and from that, Stick Science was born. Then Cbullitt at Soylent Green started spreading the Stick Science word. Soon after, the deputizing of Deputy Junior Science Assistants began.
Then the applications started coming in.
1. This was the first entry emailed to me by MorningGlory:
MorningGlory was mowing her yard, saw it, jumped off the lawn tractor and snapped a photo. She concluded that this was the work of parasitic brain-eating flies that had been released in Texas. I like that she did her research, but she didn’t poke it with a stick! Right now I am prone to think that Ms. MorningGlory is an archeologist with scientifical tendencies. I am still deputizing her as a Deputy Junior Scientist Assistant. But always remember to poke things with a stick, Ms. MorningGlory!
He said it grew overnight and deduced that it’s some form of body snatching alien life force. Please note that his trusty dachshund Stretch “Cornbread” was on the scene, much like Jack. Man, there’s something in those Germans that just love science. This was an excellent entry with measuremments even! I am deputizing both Yabu and Stretch “Cornbread” as Deputy Junior Scientist Assistants.
You know what I love about Mel’s entry? Mel not only poked it with a stick, but she made her husband touch it. Mel, I not only deputize you as a Deputy Junior Scientist Assistant, but you get a big ole’ Atta Girl! for enlisting your spouse as a possible human sacrifice.
4. This was emailed to me by Burgess in California:
Burgess wanted to warn me that the Weirdus Yardo Alienus Withsum Tentaclesi Thingie had made its way to California and apparently brought their pink super bounce ball with them. Burgess did not poke them with a stick because ice cream had just been purchased and it was melting. I am still deputizing Burgess as a Deputy Junior Science Assistant for having priorities. Nothing trumps ice cream, not even science.
I know you all are now asking yourselves “Self, what do I get for being a Deputy Junior Science Assistant?” Well, you not only get the warm fuzzy feeling of helping all of mankind with your scientifical science, but as a deputy, you now have fees. That’s right. It’s like a union. I’ll be emailing out your first membership fees in the morning. Don’t worry, I take Paypal. Good job, Deputies. Good job.
P.S. Here’s a late entry emailed to me from Jean:
She thought it was her dog Clarence’s work at first:
But then remembered she had had her yard aerated. Jean, you almost lost your deputizing for blaming the dog, but who hasn’t at one time or another? It also appeared your dog was plenty mad at you and will probably make you pay later and I need more dues paid myself, so I am deputizing you as a Deputy Junior Science Assistant. Your invoice should be arriving soon.17 Comments