I have good news and bad news. First the good news, I found a lawn service company! YAY FUCKING YAY! It’s a big professional company and the guy I spoke to seems really nice and concerned about the messed up way my previous yard guy has been doing the yard, and he promises they will do a good job. It’s a tad more, but worth every penny if they just do what they say. So keep your fingers crossed that I don’t end up in jail from tasering their asses if they fuck up.
Now the bad news, my stomach hurts. I think it’s food poisoning. I think I ate some bad Indian food last night. How can you tell, ya know? All Indian food seems kind of rancid. Well, usually I depend on hard liquor killing any bad shit in the foreign food I eat before it gets in my bloodstream, but I wimped out and just had wine and now I’m paying the price. I’ve been seeing double all day and breaking out in sweats. I’m not a doctor, but I think seizures are next.
Oh, speaking of rancid food, I have been trying for six months to get J to accept a sucker bet from me so that when he loses I will have him eat something from one of these Mexican Roach Coaches that are all over town.
I thought it would be funny to have him eat some weird Mexican meat made in a dirty van by Jose who hasn’t washed his hands since he watched an el porno the night before, but now that I’m suffering so with digestive distress, and he just told me over the phone that he was too busy to listen to my craziness about getting a goat, I can honestly say, I think it would be FUCKING HYSTERICAL.17 Comments