Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
Me: “Hey, my birthday is coming up. Do you need any help picking something out for me?”
J: “You’re so helpful, but no.”
Me: “Because if you don’t have it yet, I can help you out.”
J: “That’s nice of you, but I already know what I am getting you.”
Me: “Oh, is it an iPad iKillerRobot?”
J: “I’m not answering you.”
Me: “Okay, give me clues. Can I read it?”
J: “Yes.”
Me: “Ooooo, what color is it?”
J: “Black”
Me: “Ooooo, is it an iPad iKillerRobot?”
J: “No. It’s a Bible.”
Me: *CLICK*
Now here’s a picture of a goat taken by a reader just for me:
** Because iPad is a retarded name, henceforth it shall be referred to as an iKillerRobot.
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14 Responses to If Jehovah Witnesses don’t celebrate birthdays, how do they know how old they are?
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I want an iPad er, I mean iKillerRobot!
That’s a sassy looking goat.
I think he should enroll you in a Bible Study class too.
*** I can teach the class! ~Laura
I still don’t think I’m going to get an iKillerRobot, but I will enjoy reading about how you get your iKillerRobot from J for your birthday.
Note to J: J that is nice of you to get the iKillerRobot for Laura for her birthday!
Laura, I bet he’ll already have the Bible all loaded up on there for you, too. That’s pretty thoughtful.
*** Didn’t you not too long ago get a Kindle or something? Or did I dream it? Sometimes I dream about people getting things, so I mix reality and dreams up a lot. ~Laura
I dont even know what to say… I am speechless…. Imagine that.I think that is so thoughtful of “J” to get you a Bible for your birthday….Good form “J”, Good form… nice goat pix.
*** You always side with J. And yes, great goat pic. ~Laura
The power of Goat compels you… the power of Goat compels you… Fed the i-machine and get the ikillerobot
** Yes! ~Laura
I’ve had a Kindle for a few years now, and I’d be lost without it. I’ve been looking really hard at the iKillerRobot though. It’s real tempting.
*** You should get one!! ~Laura
Ha. About time j stated giving you your own medicine.
*** Oh, he’s snarky. But that doesn’t get much press time around here. ~Laura
You should write a “Sassy Goat” song kind of like “Smelly Cat” and then you could sing it with a bible in one hand and an iKillerRobot in the other and people would throw money at you on street corners.
*** You truly are a genius. I’m not worthy. ~Laura
My *husband* has a Kindle; he likes it. So your dream was off just a little bit.
He isn’t getting an iKillerRobot either; I asked him. I guess he figures he’s given Steve enough money with the iPhones.
I would ask you, as a friend, to please dream that I get a Corvette, but I just realized that you aren’t scoring highly in the “dreams of what Sheri gets” category. So nevermind. However, you ARE TOTALLY BATTING 1000 in the “dreams of what Sheri’s *husband* gets” category, so far. This leads me to an idea for a workaround:
You just need to dream that my husband gives me a Corvette. See? That would be work. I’d do the same for you, GURL, and you know I would.
*** Ha! I shall try to do that. You’re welcome. ~Laura
Cute goat!
The hub wants an iKillerRobot, but not till it gets the 3G stuff. I’m fine with my Kindle, personally, for book reading anyway.
*** Ya know, I like the Kindles too. But don’t tell J. I’m all about Apple gadgets. ~Laura
Would she settle for a Pontiac GTO? (Or, as it’s familiarly known, a Goat?)
*** Ha! ~Laura
I kept saying, HAH. I want REAL book paper between my fingers. Then I saw the Kindle that a friend at work WON AT A CASINO. No shit. And I want one.
iKillerRobot, nah, but a free Kindle, yeah. Could I be an ancillary dream part there?
*** Okay okay. ~Laura
Im sorry.. but I must comment on your sidebar of “Dogs Yoga”. no doubt I am going to start eating kibbles & Bits. Yes!
My niece is a manager at an Apple store. She was on maternity leave but came back on the day IPad came out, because, “It’s the biggest day in Apple history,” as she put it. Of course, she went into labor that night and delivered a little girl. I thought she should name her, “Apple Jobs” to gain some bonus points with you know who, but, she didn’t listen to her old aunt. Instead she named her daughter “Taliah Rain”. My brother-in-law thought at least she should have named her I-taliah. That would have been apropos, too, since we are Italian. She did take a picture of Taliah with the IPad next to her. Two big events in one day.