Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
From the monthly archives: April 2010

Being a Science Sheriff means I’m like a real sheriff and I can deputize Junior Science Assistants and shoot people who break any laws of science or if they just annoy me. FACT.

By On April 30, 2010 · 17 Comments

It all started with Sheri Gilmour’s blob and from that, Stick Science was born. Then Cbullitt at Soylent Green started spreading the Stick Science word. Soon after, the deputizing of Deputy Junior Science [...]

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Here’s where I’d try to think of a witty title, but I’m starting to see spots and the room is spinning, so I won’t.

By On April 29, 2010 · 17 Comments

I have good news and bad news. First the good news, I found a lawn service company! YAY FUCKING YAY! It’s a big professional company and the guy I spoke to seems really nice and concerned about the messed up way my previous yard guy has been doing the yard, and he promises they will [...]

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I think when we’re all encased in gooey alien cocoons and our bodies serve as incubators for alien babies, you all should know who to blame.

By On April 28, 2010 · 25 Comments

I found another Weirdus Yardo Alienus Withsum Tentaclesi Thingie today.



My science kicked in and I poked it with a stick, then placed it on a paper towel for further study.


Being the scientifical scientist that I am, I needed to get [...]

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If Jehovah Witnesses don’t celebrate birthdays, how do they know how old they are?

By On April 27, 2010 · 14 Comments

Me: “Hey, my birthday is coming up. Do you need any help picking something out for me?”


J: “You’re so helpful, but no.”


Me: “Because if you don’t have it yet, I can help you out.”


J: “That’s nice of you, but I already know what I am getting you.”


Me: [...]

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