Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives

— Laura

Special Early Morning Weather Update! S.O.S (Save Our Skin)

By Laura On January 8, 2010 · 14 Comments

I don’t know how much time I have. It’s cold and windy here in South Carolina and it’s supposed to get COLDER! I am frightened. We survived the snow flurries last night only because they didn’t happen. Now we face a different challenge. A cold Arctic air mass is moving in. Cold plus wind brings certain death, people. I tweeted for help on my way to work. Not really ON MY WAY, as in while driving, because driving and tweeting IS certain death. The temperature was 40 degrees and falling. FALLING. As in, getting colder. The wind has to be at least 5 mph now! FIVE MILES PER HOUR! We need help down here, people! Send jackets, scarves, those cool driving gloves, and hot chocolate. OH, and please some chapstick! My lips are drying as I type this! And my hands! Oh God. MY HANDS! Drying. Send lotion with vitamin E and nail conditioner. Nivea makes it I think. Send vast quanities. Vats. I will try to keep you updated but I don’t know how much longer I can hold on…help….me… pleas

14 Comments

14 Responses to Special Early Morning Weather Update! S.O.S (Save Our Skin)

Doni says:

January 8, 2010 at 7:50 am

I am so glad to see you are still alive. I’m really pissed off. not only did we not get our flurries we did not even get rain.no ice nothing..OMG I really hate weatherman…..they suck.I think they have a thing going on with the grocery stores. its a conspiracy. they are in ca-hoots
/w each other. stab stab stab. I want Thelma and your cool crap.
*** I know! I looked out first thing expecting to see some powder so that I could go back to sleep. NONE!! I cried. Then I took a shower. ~ Laura

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Joan of Argghh! says:

January 8, 2010 at 8:37 am

Crap. That means I hafta go to work today. Not sure if I’ll make it home in all the damn cold!
*** Joan- Be sure to bring your chapstick!!! If you don’t have any, call the Red Cross. I am sure they have an emergency supply. Let’s hope so anyway. Godspeed on your trip home. Be careful out there. We have wind too. DON’T FORGET THE WIND! ~Laura

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patti says:

January 8, 2010 at 9:42 am

Suck it up soldier – 8 degrees with 30 mph winds here, wind chill -8. On my way out to the barn to tend large cold critter.
I want your cool crap – maybe the thrill of winning will warm me up and make my heart grow three sizes.

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Schrodinger's Other Cat says:

January 8, 2010 at 10:15 am

With the windchill it’s 13° here. Here is SE Texas. W. T. F?! My boots don’t keep my feet warm and my circulation laughs at my nice Isotoner gloves. Maybe my husband’s right and we should move to the Equator.
Still petitioning for your cool crap, I am!

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gatorgirl4325 says:

January 8, 2010 at 11:22 am

I was truly disapointed with another NON EVENT. The upside – absolutely no traffic on the morning commute due to a 2hr school delay.
I was greeted with a nice sheet of ICE in the parking lot at work. Where did that come from???
***I’ll tell you where that came from- The damn water sprinklers that they don’t turn off. Makes me want to stab people.~Laura

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Dave Merriman says:

January 8, 2010 at 11:44 am

Pioneer Women, my ass.
(grins, ducks, and runs through foot of snow in balmy 18 degrees)
*** Oh hell no. I never claimed to be a Pioneer Woman. I am just COOLER THAN THE PIONEER WOMAN. ~ Laura

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kate says:

January 8, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Uhh…the temperature was -2 when I left for work this morning. The high in Kansas City today is one. ONE FREAKING DEGREE. I can’t even begin to describe to you how not okay this is.

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Jim - PRS says:

January 8, 2010 at 12:52 pm

OMFG! I hope the Firefly Vodka distillery is open and operating in all that horrid, dangerously cold, Arctic weather.
Priorities.

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Sherri says:

January 8, 2010 at 1:41 pm

It’s 1 degree here in Mpls with a “feels like” temp of -11. That’s nothing! I admit that I’ll be putting my jacket on when I go out for lunch but I won’t zip it nor will I have a hat or gloves. Come visit for a while. You’ll acclimate quickly and will have a heat stroke when the temps hit the 30′s!!

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Maeve says:

January 8, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Booze! Where is your request for booze? If you get snowed in how will you survive?
I know I would not.
I want your cool crap.
***A fully stocked bar. You never know when a natural disaster might occur. ~Laura

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Pat says:

January 8, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Oh you poor baby. I know 40 degrees seems real cold to you in them thar parts! Just keep some schnapps in your purse, mittens on your hands, a scarf around your neck, and a coat on your back and you should be fine. You were in the ARMY for God’s sake. Cowboy, or cowgirl up! Nipples to the wind and all that crap!

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jw says:

January 8, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Absolutely, a fully stocked bar is THE #1 priority.
I want your cool crap, dayumit!

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schambers says:

January 8, 2010 at 7:35 pm

It’s really cold here in Ohiyah. Sometimes I have to zip my coat up. One day I even used some toe warmers. Do you have those in the south? They are wonderful.
I still want your cool crap.

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felicity says:

January 9, 2010 at 11:33 am

There was a flurry in the town north of us. I know, because I was THERE and almost DIED! We were in the Jeep, though, thanks be to T.Rex, and we had a flare with us, so we were okay.

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