Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives

— Laura

More career advice from J

By Laura On January 4, 2010 · 13 Comments

Me: “Goddamn this town is so boring. You can go shopping or eating or bowling. That’s it.”

J: “Well, they have several parks.”

Me: “Oh yeah, whoopee, grass and trees. And you have about a two month window that you can even bear to be outdoors because of the heat and humidity. It’s unbearable most of the year.”

J: “Wow. You should work for the Chamber of Commerce.”

13 Comments

13 Responses to More career advice from J

Jim - PRS says:

January 4, 2010 at 10:39 pm

If you have any spare heat and humidity, could you please send it to New Jersey?

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CGHill says:

January 5, 2010 at 12:01 am

Now eating and bowling, as a combo, has a lot to recommend it.

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Jennifer says:

January 5, 2010 at 6:46 am

You’re right though!!! If it wasn’t for the malls, Columbia would have nothing!

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Sam Green says:

January 5, 2010 at 6:54 am

Most cities are boring unless they’re tourist attractions. Then that’s it’s own kind of hell.

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Joe the Blog Stalker says:

January 5, 2010 at 8:01 am

Hey- but there’s going to be dinosaurs at the museum!!

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Doni says:

January 5, 2010 at 8:18 am

I think you need to broaden your map. be adventurous… go out side your boundaries.. further than publix on Gervais. try Gilbert..we have a nice park and you can watch the tractors go up and down the only street in town. It’s like being trapped in a Norman Rockwell Painting….very calming.sushi today?

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Laura says:

January 5, 2010 at 9:24 am

YES! Dinosaurs!
I love to bitch and whine to J. He just looks at me all caring and shit and then he offers career advice all serious like.Then I crack up.
Doni- I’ve been to Gilbert. Had a friend that lived there. She saw all kinds of exciting things there that I don’t believe would be in a Norman Rockwell painting. I think I told ya about that.
YES! Sushi today! I am always up for sushi! We must get sushi!

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alison says:

January 5, 2010 at 9:41 am

LOL! But it’s still Gone with the Wind country.
PLEASE come and visit me here. Pretty please? The weather’s always cool, all the seasons in one day often. Contrary to ancient myth the food is actually quite fine. AND I’ll be living in a decent sized central London two bed appart for at least another 6 months which you can stay at for FREE. I can show you both round and bore you senseless with Tales of The Gaslamps. Right before I’m sectioned for going nuts about house deposits, councils and City greed and see out the rest of my days in a special institution rocking back and forth clutching my bank statement saying “Tomorrow. Is another day” .

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Laura says:

January 5, 2010 at 10:08 am

Alison- Yes, it is “Gone With The Wind” country. Sherman even burned Columbia whilst on his way to or from burning Atlanta. (I don’t feel like googling rather it was coming or going.) He didn’t do a very good job though.
I would LOVE to come visit you! I would use my fake British accent and add ‘gov’ner’ to all my sentences and end them all with ‘old chap’. I am sure I would fit right in. Or would I be sectioned with you? That could be fun too. “Ello gov’ner might you loosen the straps on this straight jacket, old chap?” I know. It’s like I was born and raised in England! Eerie isn’t it?
Seriously, I’d LOVE it!!

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mary beth says:

January 5, 2010 at 2:17 pm

My town sucks too.

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April says:

January 5, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Is this usually when J makes the stab list?

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alison says:

January 6, 2010 at 8:15 pm

LOL that was perfect!
Srsly though anytime you want, come on over

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Pat says:

January 8, 2010 at 6:53 pm

At least your town wouldn’t be crowded with tourists who probably would litter, take up all your parking spaces, and talk during movies. So there!

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