The Zombie Apocalypse. I am ready. But are you? I doubt it, so I am here to help. A chainsaw is an awesome anti-zombie weapon and a generally useful tool. So I decided to have a contest where, in addition to the awesome stuff I usually give away here, I added in one of these:
That’s right. A fucking chainsaw. That and other stuff will be given away to help one lucky reader survive the impending Zombie Apocalypse.
Here’s the other stuff:
1-Pissed Off Sock Monkey (my design-all rights reserved) handmade by me and not intended as a child’s toy. The eyes are buttons and pose a choking hazard for small children. So what I am saying is DON’T GIVE IT TO A CHILD; it’s a serious monkey for serious times.
1-Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. A New York Times Best Seller.
1-Plants vs. Zombies by Pop Cap computer games.
1-Stainless Steel Water Bottle.
1-Package of 8 Skull and Crossbone i-clips Magnetic Page Markers.
Rules of Entry:
The winner will be announced on Halloween October 31th 2009. Entries will close on October 30th at midnight EST. The winner must email me after the giveaway so we can coordinate choice of prize and delivery information.
You are limited to one comment per day.*All entries/comments stay on this blog entry.* Please note that comments are moderated and will not show immediately. I work and sleep so it may take some time. Be patient. Just enter once and it will appear when comments are released. A random generator will pick the winning comment after the giveaway ends on October 30th.
You must complete this sentence in your comment/entry, “George Clooney’s WHORE is _______” and it must be derogatory. Any positive comments will be ineligible and will be stricken.* You will also then go on my Stab List.
If you would rather have the cash value of the chainsaw ($125.00) in an Amazon gift certificate, just ask. If you are some sort of Apple-weenie-pacifist, and you win, well shit, enjoy what time you have left before the Apocalypse and I will send you an iTunes card for $125.00. You can download some Buddhist chants or some other Kumbaya shit to keep you mellow while you are being torn apart and devoured.
Use of the chainsaw on any non-zombie living thing (other than trees and shrubs) is expressly forbidden. Under no circumstances am I or anyone associated with Fetch My Flying Monkeys in any way liable even if you inform us you intend to use it on a non-zombie. By entering this contest, you release us from any and all liability whatsoever. It is all on you. It’s a chainsaw. It’s dangerous. Under no circumstances will our liability exceed the value of the chainsaw ($125.00). Any warranty is provided by Amazon and Poulan. Don’t blame us if the thing doesn’t work when the horde comes a knockin’.
If, you decide you really do want the chainsaw, then you must send me via fax or mail a valid picture ID with date of birth and signed statement saying you are over 21 years old. The chainsaw will only be sent to the individual on the picture ID. In the event the prize is won by someone who is not in the area served by Amazon’s “Prime Delivery”, or is under 21 years of age, the chainsaw portion of the prize will be a gift card for the value of the chainsaw ($125.00). If there is any legal reason your owning, receiving or winning a chainsaw is not allowed, you are responsible for letting us know and your prize will be a gift card for the value of the chainsaw ($125.00).
If the price of this particular chainsaw goes up, or is not currently available for sale at the end of the contest, I reserve the right to send you a gift card for the value of the chainsaw portion of the prize of $125.00. If for any reason, which I don’t forsee right now, the costs would exceed $125.00 to fulfill the prize, my cost would be limited to $125.00 and you would have to take the gift card instead of this really cool chainsaw. You can buy a bag of hammers or Barbie playhouses for all I care.130 Comments