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If I were to write my memoirs it would just be page after page of doodles of me in knife fights with curse bubbles over my head | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura


Meatloaf
 


I am exhausted after my emotional roller coaster yesterday. I would like to thank all those who supported me during one of my darkest hours. And to the ones who didn’t (DUANE and GARGS), BURN IN HELL, FUCKERS!


I would also like to take this opportunity to say that if any of you guys are following me on Twitter and I haven’t followed you back, let me know. I get so many spam bots adding me that I don’t know who is real anymore. Yeah, I’m a total lamer. If you’re not following me on Twitter you are missing out on pics of my lunches, pets, and total sporadic moronic babble. Sometimes I talk smack to the celebs, but they just ignore me. Now I bet you all know why I don’t work in advertising.


You can see by the pie chart above that your education is continuing. Knowledge doesn’t stop just because I have a crisis. Also, Dogette left a gem of a FACT in comments on the last entry, which I am now presenting to you all:



Whore Fact


*This excludes anyone that isn’t George Clooney’s WHORE living in Studio Fucking City.

11 Comments
 

11 Responses to If I were to write my memoirs it would just be page after page of doodles of me in knife fights with curse bubbles over my head

  1. Teresa says:

    She is a disgusting piece of shit, there’s no way around it, and I wouldn’t even worry. He NEVER lasts with any of these WHORES. She’s just another mindless twat. I mean look at that spray-on tan and overblown hair. Everytime I watch Michael Clayton I think “God, you are so beautiful” because he is. Honestly, I can’t think of a better looking man (well, Andy Garcia used to be pretty hawt until he chubbed up—bummer Andy). He’s just getting laid babe…just like the rest of us!

  2. She is kind of cute. Even with the missing eyes and the horns

  3. Doni says:

    Absolutely love the banner.

  4. CGHill says:

    We all know you curse like an enthusiastic porn star.
    God forbid we should have a fucking problem with that.

  5. dogette says:

    I vaguely remembered what-all Meatloaf would do for LUV, but it wasn’t as sharply in focus until your pie chart. Thank you.
    Also, Teresa (above) really said it all for me too as far as that Studio City WHORE with NO ENGAGEMENT or any sort of commitment from George after all. Man is she stupid or what? George isn’t going to buy that COW when he can get the milk for free, is he? No. He’s not. Moo, bitch, MOO!

  6. Jennifer says:

    Ugghh, she’s a WHORE!
    I have learned so much from your charts, graphs, and FACTS- AND- Your entry titles!! (they crack me up!)
    I love your Halloween banner too!

  7. dogette says:

    What missing eyes?

  8. alison says:

    She’s an old square jawed trannie. That photo was flattering before the horns. Now the beard just speaks truth to power.

  9. pat says:

    She should just face it. There is no way in HELL that Georgie-boy is going to give her a ring. He is a die-hard BACHELOR.
    BTW – thank you very much for that earworm of “Maurice, space cowboy, gangster of love” Woop-woop! Yeah. What freaking song was playing in my head when I woke up in the middle of the night to pee? Yeah. Over and over again.

  10. Erik says:

    I would like to see a pie chart for what Laura would “do for love, but not that” in regards to George. I am thinking of level of commitment to the cause here.
    One piechart does not a post make.
    In terms of whether or not she’s pretty is a matter of taste. (I’ll bet she tastes delish – just kidding). As a movie once stated, “You’re a man, and she’s Italian.”

  11. dogette says:

    What do you want to bet this WHORE has a bigass tramp stamp to go with the corny armband tat?
    Thanks. I just like to come by here and throw another log on the fire once in a while.

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