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If I had a fleet of flying monkeys at my command the world would be covered in human “stuffing” | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

What the hell do you say when someone comes up to you all excited and says “OH! OH! I know it’s not your birthday, but I saw something and it was so YOU that I had to get it and give it to you!” And you open it and see this:



Wicked Witch


I looked at it and said, “Well, umm. Thanks?” What the fuck? This card made her think of me? Then she told me to open it.



Wizard of Oz


“It plays music, but I got it because of the flying monkeys!”


I can honestly say that when I first saw the outside of the card my feelings were a little hurt and it made me sad. I hadn’t felt that bad since that house landed on my sister. Mentally, I was adding her to my Stab List, and her little dog too.


Thank you Doni for my card. And thank you for being my friend. I will take you off my Stab List. For now.

10 Comments
 

10 Responses to If I had a fleet of flying monkeys at my command the world would be covered in human “stuffing”

  1. CGHill says:

    I’m really surprised you don’t have a whole squadron of Woot Screaming Monkeys, which fly, kinda sorta.

  2. SB Smith says:

    I’ve been collecting gargoyles, among other things, since 1991. One day my SIL told me, “I was in this store the other day and when I saw this hideous gargoyle, I immediately thought of You !”…I just laughed and said “Thank You !” :-D

  3. Becky says:

    I would have thought of you, too.
    Not the witch, THE MONKEYS! They have become your trademark.

  4. Jennifer says:

    LOL! I think I would have been “What the fuck?” too at first.

  5. dogette says:

    I have a Wicked Witch of the West magnet in the kitchen. I thought of you when I bought it, like 5 years ago.
    When friends of mine give me something and say, “This made me think of you” it’s always dog shit -related. Like, they’ll give me the Monthly Doos calendar (one friend gives me this every year and I LOVE IT). A friend gave me a Christmas tree ornament that’s a steaming pile of dog shit. With glitter on it! SO festive.
    I have a photo frame here on my desk that’s a very realistic dog turd with a plexiglass frame that sort of sticks into the turd.
    I could go on.

  6. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    What song does it play?

  7. Laura says:

    CG- What makes ya think I don’t? : ) If you are talking about those masked toy monkeys you sling-shot across the room and they scream, I have a few. I think they came from Think Geek.
    SB- I have a great print by Michael Parks with gargoyles in it and I have a really cool gargoyle wall statue. I have a room that’s kind of goth shabby chic. It makes people do a double take when they walk in it. A bunch of crucifixes and crosses on one wall. It sounds odd, but I think it’s fantastico and that’s all that matters.
    Becky- It’s my brand I reckon.
    Dogette- So I guess I should be happy that I am only associated with wicked witches and flying monkeys, huh?
    Joe- It’s that tune that plays when the witch is riding her bike in the tornado.

  8. CGHill says:

    Same simians, though Woot fits them with a custom cape and sells them for a ridiculous price.
    They work wonders around the office for scaring visitors down the hall.

  9. Duane says:

    Wicked always makes me think of you. Thats how we met and your name was wicked.

  10. pat says:

    I’m sure Doni is relieved that she’s off your stab list, for now. But she’d better watch her back!

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