Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
I was having so much fun over at Two Nervous Dogs that I almost forgot to blog. Oh, I’m sorry; you can’t see it can you? Well, that’s because she’s locked out everyone who played the “I’m too busy to blog or comment on blogs on the weekends” game. That’s right. She’s locked down today’s and tomorrow’s entries. Password protected, baby! Too bad ya’ll can’t see those fantastic blogs. They’re epic. And I think Aerosmith is coming over later to perform. Too bad you’ll miss it. Hope you had a great weekend being all busy and shit.
J called me today to tell me I gave him rabies. Apparently he’s not feeling well and is entirely too quick in blaming me. I asked him if he was angry and he said no. I know he can swim and isn’t afraid of water so I told him he didn’t have rabies, it was probably typhoid. I think he was just trying to gain sympathy because he was locked out of Dogette’s blog. It didn’t work.
I called the firing range I belong to to see if I could target practice with my taser. Joe, the guy that runs it was all “You want to fire a taser at a paper target?” I said, “No Joe, I need a human target.” He kind of laughed and jokingly suggested I walk down by the bus station with a $10.00 bill hanging out of my pocket. Then he hung up on me.
So tomorrow I have to stop by the bank in the morning.
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8 Responses to When you blog and comment on other blogs on the weekends you are justly rewarded with smugness
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Pure Schadenfreude = that woman watching for the moment that guy’s sharona gets squished in the accordion bellows.
Sorry ass has no smug.
OMFG you actually promoted the lockout, and smugly at that. It’s the rabies talkin’, I’m certain. The lockout is going well, I must say. People are being super smug in there and it’s quite cozy.
Joe Perry is doing some solo stuff so I took the opportunity to come say hello while he’s on because I like him — don’t get me wrong — but Steven is the voice and that’s a fact.
I played with the new camera tonight and got ACTUAL FOOTAGE of The Hub, who immediately said, “That better not turn up on the Internet in 5 minutes.” Where’s the trust, I ask you?
Well I have to get back to Twisty Text now. Tell J the typhoid is not covered under his health plan.
Right. I’m going to make a list of people I would like you to taser. Then I’ll go out and beg for a bit to get some cash to pay for your flight. Back shortly.
Great picture! lol Girl, I feel sorry for the guy that tries to mug you. Wait, no I wouldn’t. Can you take pictures?
Oh shit! I missed Aerosmith! Damn!
Guy in the picture looks mighty pleased with himself. Why do the ladies always go after the musicians?
YOU HAVE GOT TO SHOOT VIDEO OF THAT!!!! tee hee
The scary thing is that she asked me to rewire the taser to hook into her iPod so it would make the poor guy dance to her music.
I used to be able to play the accordion when I was little. Then I grew boobs and the only way I could play it was if I laid on the floor so my boobs would fall into my pits and I’d have a flat chest. I don’t think there’s a lot of requests for floor-lying boob-in-the-pit accordion players out there, do you?
I bet that taser would work well if you hose them down first.