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Mothers, lock up your sons | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I stayed home Saturday and decided that I wanted to watch a movie. I really didn’t feel like brushing the Girl Scout cookie crumbs off the front of my sweatshirt, so I rented a movie at Amazon dot com. Since I’m all about ghouls, goblins, and gore I choose to watch Twilight. It’s a story about a family of vampires, taken from a series of books that has found great success. After watching it for a few minutes I realized it wasn’t very scary but that I was completely and totally mesmerized by the star vampire. This guy-



Edward


Dreamy Edward. I know, right? After a little while I became aware that I was almost drooling after this fella and I was subconsciously adding him to my pretend boyfriend list. Shut up. Yes, I still have THE list. Then the chick in the flick (wha? there was a chick? whoever the hell she was) asked him how old he was. He said “Seventeen.” I suddenly got very uncomfortable. I was envisioning getting nasty naughty with a teenager! What. The. Hell. Shit, I’m a pedophile! Soon I’ll be rounded up in a Chris Hansen predator sting! “I swear we were just going to TALK! What beer, condoms and handcuffs, Officer??” I haven’t felt this confused since I started noticing Harry Potter’s muscles and hottness. Oh. Did I say that out loud?


As soon as the movie was over I googled Robert Pattinson aka Edward. Yay! Thank God. He’s 22! I’m not a perv! I’m just a cougar! Yay!


Then because I’m highly susceptible to suggestions, and I wasn’t finished eating my GS Caramel delites, I watched another movie after Twilight that Amazon suggested. It was a foreign vampire flick dubbed in English called “Let the Right One In.” This movie was actually better than Twilight, even though it didn’t have a TEENAGER hottie in it. But I still watched Twilight again later that night.


Rawwrr!

9 Comments
 

9 Responses to Mothers, lock up your sons

  1. Jennifer says:

    Don’t feel bad girl, I think him and Harry Potter are hot. Rawwrrrr!

  2. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    George will be jealous.

  3. Fencepost says:

    I wondered what all the hype was.
    I haven’t seen either one of those.
    Guess I’m gonna have to watch it to find out.

  4. Shelli says:

    I think young Master Pattinson is one sexy mofo too.And I’m old as hell! Rawwwrrrr!

  5. daphne says:

    Haven’t seen the movie yet….but I have read the books, my fifty year old neighbor recommended them and she is completely obsessed by the vampire man/boy.

  6. The Rags are reporting that he stinks. He seldom bathes and he never washes his hair.

  7. Laura says:

    I read that. They had said the same thing about Brad Pitt when he became popular.

  8. Duane says:

    Well we all know I’m a big ole girl down deep-wellll not that deep. I read all the books and loved them. I actually thought he was the sexiest in the resturant scene. OMG what a chisled jaw. But in the defense of the other vampires I had a crush on the dad too. He is a beautiful man.

  9. alison says:

    He used to be a model I think. There are some cool screensavers about (ones with him and his sublime pecs). We waded through them in the office :D The books are all about stifling teen sexuality. Or something. You really couldn’t tell from the film. Ahem.

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