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And the beat goes on | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I had an appointment this morning with my cardiologist. I have a cardiologist for three reasons. 1) My family history of my father dying in his thirties from a myocardial infarction when I was just a little baby, 2) my heart stopping in the middle of an emergency surgery several years ago, 3) a couple of years ago I had really bad chest pains that sent me to the ER. The chest pains were ruled to be heartburn. Yeah, because I’m a hypochondriac, a bowl of chili basically gave me a big ole’ stomach fart that scared the hell out of me and ended up costing me hundreds of dollars in co-pays and deductibles. Damn you hypochondria!


This is my third cardiologist. I choose my doctors like I choose my friends. They have to have a personality. They have to make me laugh, and more importantly they have to “get” me. I know this may seem odd to some people, but if I don’t like the doctor, I don’t want to be his/her patient. I don’t care what their qualifications are. I mean, as long as they didn’t get their degree through an internet offer or from winning a Milton Bradley “Operation” game competition that is. Of course, I have the luxury of choosing a doctor this way because I don’t have a condition that requires seeing a specific specialist.


Every time I see my cardiologist, Dr. B, we end up just talking and laughing. Today was no different. After an EKG and listening to my heart he looked in my chart and said, “Oh I see you will be (AGE) soon!” I narrowed my eyes at him and said “Hush or I’ll throw you out that window.” He laughed and said “Ahh c’mon, being (AGE) isn’t that bad!” “Right”, I replied “and landing on that sidewalk won’t be so bad either.” For some reason we both started laughing so hard, tears started running down my cheeks. Then he said something that actually made me glad I already had those wet eyes. He said, “Everything looks great. You have your mother’s heart.”

11 Comments
 

11 Responses to And the beat goes on

  1. Gargs says:

    OMG!
    OMG!
    OMG!
    Was that an actual sentimental story you shared?
    OMFG! The world is coming to an end. The apocalypse is nigh! Kiss all our asses good-bye. Satan herself will be here soon to claim the earth as her own.
    OMG! OMG! I am so freaked out right now. Am I in some alternate Star Trek Universe? Jesus Christ on Shrimp Toast, I cannot believe that you actually went there! Holy Shit, you made me cry, and not by yelling at me. I am so freaking proud of you.
    Great Job

  2. Laura says:

    Yeah Gargs, and don’t get used to it, but my heart grew three sizes that day.
    I ought to punch you in the throat so you’ll simmer down.

  3. Jennifer says:

    Funny doctors are the best to have for sure.
    Great little story btw.

  4. Fencepost says:

    That is great news! Even if it did come to you in a round about way.
    I’m picky about dr.s too!
    First of all, I have to be able to understand them.

  5. daphne says:

    That story was sweet, Laura.
    I pick my doctors the same way. I can’t tell you how many never got a second visit because they blew the first by owning humorless personalities.
    I had a wild chest pains a few years back that sent me to the ER, I was there for two days undergoing the most advanced tests under the sun and they never figured out what the hell happened. Right before I was released, I asked my cardiologist what he thought had happened. He said “Sometimes we don’t have a damn clue, but nobody wants to believe that, so we give ‘em lots of fancy sounding bullshit.” I liked that doctor.

  6. Peter Cox says:

    Hey girlfriend, just got back from having my blood drawn. Something about my glucose levels being up. Imagine that sugar in *MY* blood. LOL! ;-)

  7. Duane says:

    That story was sweet. And, you have my permission to remind Gargs that Petey died on a porch while a drag queen sang to him- for his blase’ response to the fact that you are human. Sometimes.
    Muah!

  8. Gargs says:

    Excuse me Duhv, but I know that she is human. It is you that I worry about.

  9. alison says:

    Very glad that was good news. You made me worry for you, smile and then laugh out loud at the same time. I love your violent streak too. I totally get it :P
    Today it was warm in London and we had the heating on in the office. The usual lot were still cold. I’m going to kill one of them soon. You’ll see me on the news.

  10. Laura says:

    Becky- Yes, being able to understand them is def numero uno.
    Daphne- Wow, two days? That’s crazy. Bet you had a stomach fart too.
    Duane- OMG, How did I forget about Petey and Gargs little girl tears?
    Alison- I bet if you had a judge that knew about reptile cold-blooded office workers, you’d get off with a warning, or a medal.

  11. Duane says:

    Never said I was human!! so there!

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