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Sleeping in a bed of crazy | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I feel really bad. I cheated on my man. I know. Can you believe it? I’m not proud of myself but I feel confession is good for the soul. Please don’t think too badly of me. I wasn’t even awake when it happened. No, I didn’t go out partying and get slipped a roofie. If only it was that simple. Last night I had a dream that I was getting all biblical with this guy-



David Beckham


Yeah. David Beckham. He kind of looked like that in my dream too, except way less gay and in color.


He’s always been in my imaginary boyfriend pool, but this dream was starting to push him into first place (yes, George Clooney’s spot!) until my dream took a sudden turn into the horror realm. Right before things got really good I heard a kid crying and David said to me with his sexy British voice, “Go have a look at him, love, you’re the nanny.” NANNY?  OH. HELL. NO. I woke up with a start in mid-scream.


So I’ve decided to clean out my imaginary boyfriend pool and stop being such an imaginary whore. I’ve decided to dedicate myself to one man. George Clooney, call me. I’ll never stray again.

10 Comments
 

10 Responses to Sleeping in a bed of crazy

  1. Becky says:

    Oh, now you’ve done it. Not only did you cheat, but you admitted it. You’d be lucky if he even thinks about reconsidering! Course, maybe he’ll need a nanny at some point in time.

  2. dangerousdaisy says:

    Methinks you’re not getting enough horizantal action.
    In any fashion.

  3. Gargs says:

    You are always trying to bed the gay boys.
    Have you seen his spread at JustJared?
    http://justjared.buzznet.com/2009/02/04/david-beckham-torso-tattoo/
    LOL, Try and tell me he doesn’t play for the homo team now.

  4. Gargs says:

    LOL after posting that last comment I went on to read this from Vicky Beckham
    “The 34-year-old former Spice Girl told the mag she apparently loves the gays: “I love women. I like them as friends, as interesting people to speak with. But I love gay men. I always say it. Inside me there is a gay man who wants to come out! With heterosexual men I have nothing in common –”
    There was more, but…

  5. Laura says:

    Becky- I hope he’ll find it in his heart to forgive me.
    Daisy- I know. Right?
    Gargs- If loving them is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  6. Jennifer says:

    You and that damn George! I’m not saying anything though…last time you wanted to use voodoo on everyone that dogged him!

  7. Stacey K. says:

    I’m sure George will take you back. Just looking at that face you know he’s the forgiving type. In a very strong, manly way of course.
    Becks may be gay. If Posh were getting some she might smile more.

  8. I’m pretty sure this post settles that whole who is crazier post from yesterday. I’m certain now that you are crazy, but you are funny too. Funny goes a long way. Keep it up.

  9. daphne says:

    You want me to actually read after posting that perfect wet dream?
    He’s gorgeous. Perfect.
    Throw the old, hairy midget under the bus.

  10. Laura says:

    Jennifer- Can I borrow your hair brush?
    Stacey- Thank you, girl. You seem to be the only supportive one out there in a sea of jealousy!
    Midtown- Umm. Thanks.I think : )
    Daphne- Sticks and stones can break his bones, but George will always love me : )

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