October 06, 2008
I spy with my little i - Random Montage Edition
This is one of the cutest things I saw all week. A little old man went in the grocery store and his little dog waited patiently (and unleashed I must add) for him outside. How freakin' cute is that? I can't even imagine bringing my little demon dog to the grocery store. *Shudder* First off, there's no way in hell he would wait outside, tethered or not. And I'm certain it would be complete mayhem once he got inside. Like a Stephen King film, except with lots more screaming and blood.
This is something I see a lot down here in the south. Memorial vehicles. On the back of this one is a "Remembering You With Love" and a Sears portrait of two young people and what I suppose is their date of birth (or death?) Do people do this in other parts of the country? I find it totally odd. Odder than those plastic crosses along the side of the highway. Besides, it must be hell selling or trading them in. I mean cause of ghosts and all.
And these I just find irritating. School zones. You're traveling down the road at a good pace and BOOM! School zone. This one got me thinking that this is what's wrong with today's youth. They are pampered little candy asses. Back when I was a kid there was no school zone slow down signs. We had to basically just make a run for it. It made you stronger. And hey, I only remember getting hit a couple of times. And mom said grandma didn't mean it.
And finally, here's a pic of my dog taking a piss. He's five years old and pees like a girl. I guess when your legs are only like 1 1/2 inches long, it's safer to squat. And why you ask did I take a picture of my dog peeing? Because he didn't have to go number 2 at the time that's why.
October 04, 2008
Attack of the miniature glow in the dark ZOMBIES!
October 02, 2008
Oh shit. RUN!
October 01, 2008
Halloween Photo Shoot
September 30, 2008
This made me giggle
A spam phone text from my crazy ass friend Duane-
"Sexshop.com says thank you for your recent order. You asked for the LARGE red vibrator featured on our wall. Please reselect. That is our fire extinguisher."
September 29, 2008
Baseball get-offs
I don't know anything about professional sports, but this picture was on the home page of my cable provider- Road Runner. The title to the story said something about baseball playoffs. I suppose it's a picture of an athlete having champagne poured over his head. But I think the same picture could be used advertising a film. Say a big ole gay film.
Food worship
While the country was going to hell in a handbasket this weekend I decided to make my corner of the world a better place by making some crab soup. It freakin' rocked. And I had a shit load left over so my freezer's full. Now I won't have to wait in any soup line once the next depression hits.
By the way, that's me being all dramatical.
I got accosted by some Mormans of all things as I was entering the grocery store this weekend. They started out by asking me what religion I practiced. Now usually me saying I'm Catholic down south is enough to cause most door-to-door religious types to immediately start backstepping and apologizing for interrupting me. But this day I just felt like fucking with them so I told them I was a Pastafarian. They looked confused so I told them my god was a blob of flying spaghetti and I was going into the store to purchase some noodles since it was a day of worship. Honest to God Chef Boyardee, that's what I told them. They just looked at me weird and continued to hand me some literature (note to self: worshipping pasta in not as shocking in the south as being a Catholic). I took it, dumped it in my grocery cart, did my shopping and checked out. As I was pushing my cart out the door the two that had previously talked to me turned around expecting a new victim person and saw it was me. I quickly grabbed my box of spaghetti (that I purposely bought for 88 cents ON SALE ), held it up and said "Praise God!" and smiled. They weren't amused. But I was. And that's all that matters.
September 26, 2008
My feelings on our country's financial situation
expressed in one photo
September 24, 2008
Messing with Sasquatch
I be lovin' these commercials.
Have you noticed that I like commercials where someone gets the shit beaten out of them? What does that say about me you may ask? It says I'm awesome, that's what. Now stop psychoanalyzing me and click that link and watch the other commercials before I smack you upside your head.
September 23, 2008
Adding Scanners to my Netflix list
"Gawd! This asshole cut me off today on my drive home!"
"Did you picture his head exploding?"
"You know it! I've been practicing too. So he was closer than he could even imagine. BOOM!"
"You're serious aren't you?"
"Umm, yeah."
"You worry me."
"You should be worried."
Silence.
"Wait. Are you practicing on me right now?"
"Shhh. I'm concentrating."
"Well stop it!"
"Why? Have a headache?"
September 21, 2008
Sundance.....it's only a matter of time
Yesterday J and I went to a farm that sells organic produce and meats. They have a huge flock of sheep that I took pictures of last winter. Last year they ran up to me all freaky like wanting food. This trip they had plenty of grass to graze and not only totally ignored me, but had an attitude. I made a video anyway with my new Flip Video camera.
Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I present my first Indy film.
September 20, 2008
I spy with my little i - Target Holiday Edition
A scary skeleton that cost almost a hundred dollars.
Soda Pop with pics of kids with Gene Simmons-like tongues.
A dude that looked like Stephen King buying Halloween stuff.
And one of the scariest things I had ever seen. Thank God these weren't available when I was a teenager.
Because if they had been.........Quoth the Raven (and my Momma), 'Nevermore.'
September 19, 2008
Arrrr, 'tis be Talk Like a Pirate Day you scurvy dogs
September 18, 2008
Feeding my hypochondria
I just got finished watching the season five premiere of House I recorded. I missed it when it showed on the tube Tuesday. For anyone who hasn't seen this show, you really should. It's about a cranky asshat doctor (Hugh Laurie) who is a contagious disease specialist that can diagnose and treat just about any disease or condition known to mankind. He's so good that he gets away with being a really rude, nasty and vile jerk without losing his job. He's kind of like the way we all wish we could be at work.
There's a formula for every episode. They all start with a person, or a child, going about life and then being suddenly stricken with some kind of illness. Almost all lose conciousness then wake up (except those that remain in a coma) with House and his team over them debating the cause and the cure. Being one of Dr. House's patients will entail almost all of the